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Birthday
• 1992-06-01
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Female
Location
• The Phantomhive Mansion
Member Since
• 2006-07-01
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• One hell of a butler~
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Favorite Anime
• Ouran High School Host Club, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Kuroshitsuji, Lucky Star, Romeo x Juliet, D.Gray-man, Soul Eater, Dragonball Z, Full Metal Alchemist, Avatar: The L
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• To finally scan my art and post more stuff on Otaku
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myOtaku.com: supersaiyanjounin
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Bad Day
Mood: Sad
Listening To: "Sadness And Sorrow" from Naruto
Today was an awful day. Just plain awful.
First, I had band camp. Please, do not misunderstand, I love band. But I am just so tired, and so sunburnt, and every part of me is sore. Plus, I see my crush with his girlfriend at band, and even though I want them to be happy, it still hurts, you know?
She hates me so much, that he is really limited in how much he can talk to me. Every time she is around, he can only make faces every now and then to make me laugh, because she gets so angry if he talks to me. Whenever she is not around, we have so much fun! Yesterday, he was laying down on the grass next to me while I was sitting up drinking water, and he just took my water and chugged it, but then started choking on it, which was total instant karma xD He just does funny stuff like that. And today, I was supposed to have my eyes closed for laying-down stretches, so he dropped a water bottle on me! Then, he stood above me, and was about to drop it on me again, but I moved my hands in the way. He told me to move them, but just as it was about to hit, I caught it! It was fun xD
But HER presence just ruins everything. I do not see why she has to do that. It really hurts every time she is around, because she scowls, and drags him away, and distracts his attention, and keeps him away from me. Even if he was not my crush, he is still practically my best friend, and that really hurts, you know?
Then, I saw my schedule for next year, and I got a bunch of teachers I did not want, and so far, no one has classes with me. My crush decided not to take the same band class as me, and went with his girlfriend instead, so now I feel really alone. I feel like everyone is leaving me, whether or not they choose to. It makes me feel so alone T_T
And of course, my sister is registering for senior class stuff. This is my last year with her. She is my very best friend. She and my crush are both graduating at the end of this year, and what will that leave me with? Even if I do have other people, without them, I feel like it will not matter, because the two people that make me the happiest will be leaving for bigger, better things. I will probably not be able to see my sister for months at a time, and I am sure my crush will never try to talk to me ever again. It just breaks my heart, and I do not know if I can handle this. It really does kill me inside to think of all the things I am losing, and I can do nothing about it. To think of everything I once had, and how they are slowly but surely being taken from me, and just who I am losing, is painful. And the way my crush's girlfriend is tearing us apart, breaks me more and more every day.
But I saw him today at registration, without her there, and he looked SO handsome :] It really made me grin from ear to ear to see him just standing there, looking so handsome. It is totally embarassing how soft I am, but I really do adore him ^_^
I guess I am just a lonely soul. I have known it, but never confronted it because there was always at least one person that gave me security. But with my sister and crush/2 best friends leaving me soon, I am feeling the overwhelming pain of loneliness that has always been buried in my heart. I do not know why I am lonely - I guess it is because people care, but no really, really CARES. Does that make sense? My sister and crush are 2 of the very few people that really care, if not the only ones, outside of my family.
So today I decided to insert an anime quote. This is an idea I have considered adding as a regular part of my posts. It depends on if I can find the right quote for the right situations, and if there are enough quotes - we will see. But here is the quote of today:
"A really nice guy is poison to a lonely girl." - Ai (Video Girl Ai)
And now, for the question of the post: Which sad, lonely anime character breaks your heart more than anyone else? I have a few answers:
-Rock Lee (Naruto)
-Gaara (Naruto)
-Naruto (Naruto)
-Vegeta (Dragonball Z) (He really does break my heart T^T! Even if he does not vent or cry a lot, it is sad in a different way. People who have seen him understand T_T)
-Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho) (A lot like Vegeta, sad because of the awful things that happened to him, and how they shaped him into the person he is T_T)
-SuperSaiyanJounin
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