Saturday, May 27, 2006

   sad?
I'm sad. But I act happy. I'm tired, but I act happy. I want to be alone, But I act as if I don't. I don't know what to do. Everything is taking a toal(sp?) on me. I'm not sure what I should do anymore. Why? You seem to like me, but at the same time not. I don't know weather to feel sad, happy or what...I wish I could be with you, For you truely do make me happy...Or maybe I should just give up and not go out with anyone or anything anymore... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want people to know of how I feel. I want to be alone, but at the same time, I want to be with you. Why does this have to happen? I like you, don't you get it? I will repect the time that you need, but with everything going on, I don't know if I can wait. I don't know if I should live anymore. I'm not strong. I've lost all hope...I just want to die...I am sad. I won't lie about that. I want to hide all my feelings. I can. It's not that hard...I thought I was truely happy one day...but I wasn't. I was sad. I am only happy with you, Keith...Or do you think that's a lie? Why do I write when I don't want to? Sad? happy? mad? ect. All the feelings that I don't want. I want to feel numb again. I want to die. I want to love you...I want to be with you...I don't know what to say. I am lost. I am lost in my mind. I am lost in my body. I am lost in my soul. I am lost in my heart. You have my heart. I got it back finally, then you took it...Which I knew was going to happen...But why can't you see that? Do I not care? Am I not important to you? Do you hate me keith? or what? I need to know...I'm just scared to find out the answer...I want to feel numb. Everything going on in my life, has taking a toal(sp?) on me...why? I am not strong. I am weak. I can not do anything...I must die...I have no hope. Nothing...I like you alot Keith...Why don't you get it?
Comments (1)