Thursday, March 25, 2004

   YAY!!!
I'm so happy!!! i finally found a few songs from Sade at the PowerWebMusic site...i really wanted to get 'By Your Side' but i put the code up on my page and it didn't work..but i love this song too^^. it goes well with the theme of my page, and the other song woulda jus brought a certain memory. well i hope u guys like it, ttyl. *yay!*

[Edit]

Without
Breathe without a breath,
Die without a death.
Scream without a voice,
Live without a choice.

Cry without a reason,
Snow without a season.
Stare without sight,
Be afraid without knowing fright.

Smell without a rose,
Walk without toes.
Hear without ears,
Age without years.

Love without a heart,
Live without a start.
Search without eyes,
Talk without lies.

Give without a care,
A life without you there.
To be me without you,
Tell the truth without it being true.

this is a new poem i submitted, but it was writen out of boredom kinda. but i'm so happy about what some pplz are commenting about for "Dead". it's really getting to me, and i'm afraid that i might not get to write another poem that can beat it. but..that was written with pure hate and i didn't like that feeling.

Sarah at 2004-03-24

Amazing that was perhaps the best poem ive read in a long time and it relates alot to my poems keep up the awesome work!

"Chris Georgiou ® at 2004-03-25

Oh wow. what phenomenal descriptions you use here. This poem has sheer class written all over it, certainly one of the best I've read in a while that's for sure. You have much talent my friend, I look forward to reading more, thank you for sharing, Chris. "

ok..i'll stop bragging..jus a couple comments from 'Dead' but it's amazing how so many can relate...*sighs*..i'm gonna go for now..so catch u later^_^

*man...for once i get a short post...and then...it gets long again..poo..oh well...i'll have to try laterT_T*
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   good afternoon pplz^_^
wow..i had 11 hours of sleep today, but my dad yelled at me cuz i didn't get up till around 1pm but...that's what spring break is all about...staying up late...and sleeping in! haha...well...i have an essay that i should be doing for spanish for some extra credit to get that stupid B up to an A...but i'm too lazy. i don't want to go back to school...i'm getting use to this already...and then i have to do soooo much work when i do go back...grrr...

well...me and An1m3 x An93L are planning to get a way for her to be able to come over to my house and have a lil sleep over. we haven't done that since November...and spring break is almost over, so we're hoping to be able for this to take place this saturday. so that is all that is keeping me cheered up and a few other things...but now i have a lot of cleaning to do...and i don't have much time to be lazy anymore. i'll even do the traditional khmer dances if she comes over cuz my parents are always bugging me about showing them whenever her sis comes over or if they do karaoke. so..if she's over at my house..i would probably do it. haha..the khmer new year is jus a week away..i think-about...and..i might as well overcome this shyness to be able to dance in front of 5 pplz and get use to dancing in front of over 100 other pplz!..so...yea..hehe

i'm gonna try to finish a poem today, and i'm gonna go look for another song for my page and do a few other things. so buh bye for now and i'll ttyl^_^ thanx for reading.
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004

   hey pplz!
ok..today i'm in much of a beter mood, and sorry if i scared some pplz with that poem, but i found this one song that i've been looking for a while ago, and that got me really happy. it's 'Dancing All Alone' by Smile.dk and it's from one of the Dance Dance Revolution games. i'm still looking for a couple other songs, and i'll be changing it sometime soon. the song and the mood of my page don't really mix together that good...but i still like it :D. well i'll get to looking for a few things, and get some other things done. so i'll ttyl pplz.

tears cried and set aside,
dreams no longer dreamt,
but no worries to hide.

i have to continue with each step.
stay focused on the present and look ahead,
and forget the bad memories that i once kept.

yea..it's not as good as my other ones...but it jus came up while i was typing..well..i'm gonna go and make this day a good one..so bye^_^
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Tuesday, March 23, 2004

[no mood to match]
What if I told you I was already dead? Would that finally get you to leave me alone?

I finally came to realize...
That I should just give up.
Vomit all of these memories...
Into a cup.
Let out the truth,
And tell u I was wrong.
I have to leave...
For this pain is too long.
I try to do so many things...
Including to forgive and forget.
But these things have already happened,
And that I regret.
I don't want any help this time,
I can do this on my own.
So I have no reason to call and apologize,
I might as well hang up the phone.
I’ll leave you with this pain-
And show you how I felt when I could only cry.
Too many tears too much pain weighing me down,
You’ve stopped me from being able to fly.
I am only able to have my soul devoured…
Just to be left in this hell.
Heaven is beyond my reach…
And I no longer have a soul to sell
I’ll make life easier for you,
And take my leave before you’ll know.
I’ll let you wake up the next day to find-
Everything’s over and this soul has to go.


this is a new poem i submitted, and i didn't want you guys to have to go somewhere to read it, so i decided to put it up on here. but thanx for reading, and if u would like to vote on it...i'll leave the site at the bottom, thanx, and bye

Dead

[Edit]
jus cuz i was bored...

Cutie! You're so sweet! You're maybe a bit naive
but eh, who cares, right? Your a playful nature
with a good heart. Your way of life is, girls
just wanna have fun: Fact: Everyone loves you!


What's your female appeal? ( with pics! )
brought to you by Quizilla


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   hey pplz
ok, the post underneath doesn't count as a monday post, but sorry i didn't 'really' post yesterday. i was on, but i was busy on AIM, and i was trying to become a member for this poetry thing, and also i was busy submitting some pomes. i had a few problems with that, but i finally got through. also...i was busy thinking of how my page should be. but i'm still not done. i was kind of kicked off before i was finished puting up a new avatar and a new b/g for my page. sorry for those who had to see it when it was messed up since i didn't have time to check it. i think it still needs some work, but i don't think i'll be on long either. well at the end i'll put the site for those who don't mind voting for some of my poems, you've read them all i think, but also i'm hoping to ba able to finish writing a few more before the week is over and submitting them. Plz be very honest when u are rating the poem/s. i know that not everyone loves them..so yea. i should be going now, so i'll catch u when i can ^_~ later pplz.

also...i spent too long in bed trying to sleep in around 11this morning...and i jus ended up thinking about lots of things. i ended up telling myself that i should take love off of my mind and let it search for me. haha this is funny oh well..."Single for Life Pride!!!" and go ACG!!! haha...i had to get that out...sorry pplz...O_o..well...i'm gonna start doing a few things to get them over with so yea...i'll ttyl. also...after a few days or so, u guys are gonna be seeing less of me online. one reason is that when i get back to school, i'm only gonna have one week to improve my language arts grade and there's gonna be a lot to do with one week left of the 5th grading period.

i've said good bye twice and i haven't left...haha...ok..ok..i'm leaving now...this is a post from the afternoon, so i might be posting later on....*sighs* my posts are getting shorter....thats a good thing. okie doke...buh bye pplz.

this is my life

late twilight wait

love is only

walking through

tears
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Monday, March 22, 2004

buenos noches pplz!!!
hey guys^_^..yea..it's like...1:55am here now, and i should really be going, but i had too much fun...oh well. hey i was looking for this song since yesterday, and they put it under the other artist, but the one i have on my comp is the same but anywayz..it's from Kiss, Korean, and the title is 'Because i'm a girl' or u can find itunder Jini as teh artist. Chieu told me about it cuz she was playing around and said i could relate, but then i finally got the song i now i love it. and now i finally got it up on my page, and i hope u guys like it too. yea u don't really understand it...but chieu got the lyrics down from the english version, and i have that too, and i'll put it up at the end. and also, i know there are lots of pplz reading my posts, but no one's puting up comments anymore...T_T...oh well..*snifles*...i should get to sleep, later and sw33tdreamz to everyone ^_^

I just can't understand the ways,
Of all the men and their mistakes.
You give them all your heart,
And then they rip it all away...
You told me how much you loved me,
And how our love was meant to be.
And I believed in you,
I thought that you would set me free...

(CHORUS)
You should've just told me the truth,
That i wasn't the girl for you...
Still i didn't have a clue,
So my heart depended on you ... Whoah
Tho i'll say 'I HATE U' now,
Tho i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you,
Because i am a girl

Been told a man will leave you cold,
Get sick of you and bored...
I know that it's no lie,
I gave my all, still i just cry.
Never again will i be fooled,
To give my all when nothing's true...
I won't be played again,
but i will fall in love again...

(CHORUS)

I loved u so...
Now u leave me in the cold,
How could this be,
I thought that u'd only love me...
Into the night,
I will pray that you're alright..
You hurt me so,
I just can't let u go

(BRIDGE)
You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love,
Now i'm the only one in pain...
Will you please take it all away,
Oh...

(CHORUS)
Never thought born being a girl,
How i can love you and be burned...
And now i will build a wall,
To never get torn again
Although i'll say 'I HATE U' now,
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you,
Because i am a girl
Although i'll say 'I HATE U' now,
Although i'll shout and curse you out...
I'll always have love for you,
Because I am a girl... wo sum... see...
Comments (4) | Permalink

Sunday, March 21, 2004

   hey pplz
hey guys! well..today was kind of a big day for me. we learned a new dance at the youth group, but the thing was that there were onli 5 guys and 5 girls, and the funny thing was that the new dance thing involved having partners. so i got this one guy..and yea...i kinda got lost a bit too much cuz i kept zoning out and i couldn't help it. but yea..it was all good. but i was scared of getting off beat and them like stepping on his feet or something like that.

and after that, me and my cuzzin went to McDonalds to get a snack and then headed home. today was a pretty great day cuz she brought her straitening iron to straiten out my hair cuz she wanted me to leave my hair down for once jus for the interview thing and i was whining the other night on AIM about my hair being wavy and i didn't like it down too much. so she stayed at my house and did that, and then we went off to the mall cuz my mom needed to exchange the size of a shirt she bought, so the three of us went. we had to be carefull of our time to make sure that we would be able to to go back home and get ready..and have extra time to get to the interview.

then after that we went to go get my watch, and the one i got really didn't fit me...and the lady was makin fun of me saying that the max that they could take of for the sizing thingy was either four or maybe they can do five...and then she said, either way it will still be loose. and then she said i was a small lil girl..name callign was NOT neccesary! wah!

we were kinda running late, so after we got it we jus went strait home so me and my mom are planning to go tomorrow to resize it and all, and rite now..it can slide rite off my wrist...and i hope that later it'll be a bit tighter, but not too loose that it'll jus slide off. but it's cute.

ok..to make the thing with the Barbizon interview thing fast...this is what i have to say. in class, when the lady came in to talk to us about the ediquitte, and when she gave us the sheet to fill out for the scholarship thing...she didn't include some of the main things. and on the phone...same thing. so when it was time to go, it was jus me and my mom and my cuzzin. my cuzzin came to fill in for my dad cuz she knew where the place was and also there were onli 3 seats reserved for us, so we left my daddy behind with my brother. so later on we found out some things that she hadn't mentionbefore, and we kinda got curious...and then jus left the place. haha...the lady said on the phone 'it's very important that u keep ur appointment with me because i am reserving seats for u and there are gonna be lots of pplz that i'll have to interview.' and i said ok...and then u see me walking out the door before the presentation was over. i kinda felt bad..but hey..the lady didn't cover everything with us. the scholarship was onli for if u were to take a modeling school or acting..and stuff like that, and then the interview was for if u were to be accept in taking the classes for the subjects that they tought. and it was 'modeling','self-improvment', and 'acting. i would be happy to go into acting, but...when we found it the thing had nothing to do with my education..i was pissed....it was a waste of my time. what does being able to walk on the runway have to do with saving lives or making sick children better??? a life of a pediatrician is the life for me...yup^_^!

well..uhm..today was great since my cuzzin was over most of the time. the khmer new year is so close, and i'm so excited for it. but i doubt my parents would let me dance with a guy who's not family...but oh well..i'll get An1m3 or Ric3 to be my dance partner...who ever can prove that they're good enough...haha j/k. well..uhm..thanx for reading, and ttyl pplz. i don't think i'll get to changing the theme tonight, but i'll see what i can do. later ^_^
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Saturday, March 20, 2004

   onli with my one and onli..no substitutes, and no fakes!!! >_<

You have an intense kiss! You and your partner
connect when you kiss and you forget about the
rest of the world. Hey, call me!!! ^_~


What anime kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

when i saw all of the results..the good bye one was so cute..inuyasha and kagome..sittin in a tree..hehe
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   the good news...and the bad news
Today was exactly like how it was said…it started off with some really good news, but bad news came along with it.

Good news:

Barbizon called again, and it was this lady, Theresa, who called. She was the one who came to my class as a guest speaker this one time. I think. Well her voice sounded like that was her. Well anyways, she told me that she wanted me to come downtown for this presentation and an interview, and that they were looking for different kind of pplz for acting, modeling, and other similar things, and that kind of scared me. She talked to my dad, and then talked to me again. So tomorrow I have an interview at 4:30pm at the Hilton Hotel, and it’s gonna be me and my parents. We totally left out my brother, and I guess my parents finally got common sense that he would just mess everything up for me, and that he wouldn’t do anything but be stupid.

I remember putting up a post titled ‘one step closer to fame’ and now, I’m one step closer to Keanu Reeves…yea u heard me An1m3 x An93L!!! Well, as long as I don’t get nervous and or panic, I’ll do fine and I won’t stutter. So please wish me luck pplz, it wouldn’t be right if I happen to embarrass myself in front of her and my parents. That’s not right at all.

Bad news:

Ok…my mom took me with her to the mall today, and that was my idea. It was only suppose to be for me getting a new watch, but then when we got there she wanted to head over to ‘Express’ because there was sale going over there. And then she wanted to get a new pair of shoes or two, and she got two. Then she had to make another stop at another place, but I can’t remember the name. but…before she went to all those places, she told me that she wanted to go there to get a few things, and I said as long as she promises to get my watch when she finishes. And she made the promise…but she didn’t keep it. When she left the last place, she looked at the time and started saying that we should hurry home because her daddy were gonna go out to dinner with An1m3’s sister and my cousin and my uncle, and she said that they were gonna meet around 5 at our house and that was about 30 minutes away, then she promised to take bring me back later to get my watch.

So…one promise broken, and she told a lie when she said that they were gonna meet at five, because my uncle was over at someone’s house, and my cousin and An1m3’s sis were taking a nap. So now it’s 6:47pm….and they still aren’t here. If that’s what has happened so far, I’ll be expecting to be able to tell time by looking at my wrist…in…maybe next month.

I can usually stand my ground, and I’m not a cry baby. But things like these really get to me. By the time I got home I was so mad that she broke her promise and lied to me I wasn’t sure if I should cry or yell at someone or just go crazy. I was on the border of each I guess. But later on I started tearing up a bit, and I was jus so mad at her.

I am stupid enough to keep promises and secrets for pplz, but they break their promises to me, and let out my secrets. I give pplz respect, and treat them as nice as I can, and I give them my friendship along with all that I can do for them…but only get betrayal in return. I give them my all and my heart when they give me nothing and walk over my heart as it cries in between beats. I am not sensitive physically, but emotionally. My right arm is kind of weak because of the fact I broke it about 2 years ago, and it still hurts depending on what I do. But broken promises and lies go at the top of the chart of ‘what can hurt me the most’. My brother says that I’m a baby who jus can’t stop crying if I’ not happy. Well if pplz didn’t treat me so…I wouldn’t have any reason to cry anything but tears of joy. On the other hand…those are pretty rare for me. And I don’t care of what pplz say to me or about me, cuz no one knows me well even to speak the embarrassing truth of me, but only spread lies that I wouldn’t bother to think twice of. Those don’t get to me, I’ve grown mature enough to get to that point, but I still have a weakness I don’t think I’ll ever be able to defend.

I kind of jus want everything to end. There’s no reason to live if I jus keep getting hurt. And if I keep on living, there wouldn’t be any difference. If I stop breathing-I’ll die, and if I continue breathing-that means I’m forcing myself to die…either way, it all leads to the same stupid thing.

Majority rules, there seems to be more bad news, and that puts me in a bad, depressed mood. I want to be home alone for my whole spring break, or at least jus away from this family. Be online 24/7 and jus chat with the pplz I want to chat with, and do what I want to do. I need to be alone for a while…and that hasn’t happened for a long time-neither did it last very long. I want to be left in a quiet place all by myself…away from all the screaming and yelling, and the only sound I want to hear is my voice and the songs I want to listen to. But if I’m alone, I’ll be tempted to cry…and here, with both my parents and my brother…I have to hold everything in.

I’ll try to make the best of the rest of the night, and I’m gonna have to have a good night sleep for what will be happening tomorrow. I’ll have the youth group, and then the interview. Busy, busy, busy me. Oh well. If my parent’s dinner plans don’t’ get cancelled, and if they plan to leave me and my brother alone…they’re gonna come home…and one if us won’t be breathing. And it won’t be me.


I’ve found a way-
To seal the day.
Fill up this spot deep inside,
With these tears-down my cheeks they ride.

Catch every droplet in this memory,
Leave me alone to cry in serenity,
Don’t look at the life of a crier...
Don’t search in the eyes of a liar.

Hold these words close,
For I will love u the most.
But let the day turn into night.
Live in dreams without fright.

Am I anything dear to u?
Or am I jus like the others too?
Do I have any reason to stay?
Or should I take my leave and jus walk away?

Is there a reason for me to be?
Am I being someone else...or is this really me?
Truth cannot cloud my head and blind my eyes.
So these all must be lies.

So what have I heard from u?
What u tell me...are they lies or are they true?
Can u really hold me?
Are there any other reasons I should see?

Why not let go of this life line?
I have nothing else that I can claim mine.
I’ve lost everything and all of my hope...
There’s no more to hold onto...I’ve let go of the rope.

When tears meet their end
I will be back on ur side and love as a friend.
But till then I’ll be waiting here.
Plz save me b4 I drown in all my tears.

I was in a hurry to finish this poem so I can get it on today, so the ending might be a bit weird. I don’t think I’ll be on tomorrow cuz of the schedule…so that’s why I decided to put it up today. It also goes with how I feel, I must have been preparing for this cuz I wrote it last week. Well buh bye for now pplz. Thanx for reading, and I promise I’ll try to get over this. I’m gonna try to make as many…uh…I think they’re origami, but they’re little stars…I got them from the Korean booth at SPIFFS and I’m jus gonna attempt to make as many as I can tonight to cool me down from all this. Also I’m planning to change the theme by tomorrow hopefully. Well okie doke, buh bye guys.

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Friday, March 19, 2004

   from one of my favorite shows, and my favorite character...

You are Robin! Still young and a bit unsure of
your abilities, nonetheless you are a force to
be reckoned with, a real hidden dragon


Which Witch Hunter Robin Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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