|
|
|
myOtaku.com: Sw33tSamurai90
|
Tuesday, March 9, 2004
it's weird...
it's so strange when u think of it. u can find urself daydreamin of wonders and think about a great plan for ur future...or u can jus dream. but, on the next day, u can throw every bit of hope u ever had away. and jus give up on everything. and onli think of negative thoughts. that's how it seems for me sometimes. it could be becuz i jump to conclusions a lot...or it might be jus the way i am. it's become a habbit almost.
i can cry one minute..and look back and laugh it off. but on the other hand...i can put up an act as an entertainer, but then...put on a mood that'll make pplz think i am one of the kind of pplz who r depressed 24/7. there are also many times i find my feelings so fragile and weak. even the littlest things can get me to cry. then..i can become the strongest person u have ever known with my feelings, never letting doubt and hate get to me, but still..either way i'd have a weekness.
but..it's hard to figure out what kind of person i am, unless u r some of my really close friends. there is no problem i have with expressing myself to most pplz, but it's hard to describe it all. i can be so sensative about my feelings at one point, but then become the person u ask for a shoulder when u need to get over something. there are so many things that i can feel and u wouldn't even know...or u won't even be one step close to it. if i was sad, and worried about getting anyone involved..i would try to hide it..or jus tell pplz that i'm fine. they never notice anywayz.
i can never seem to be able to stay with one mood throughout a 5 minute period. so many things start to go through my head, so i jus keep changin my feelings. but one will alwayz be the same. i can never stop caring for those around me, the pplz i care for and love. so that's why it's best..when i don't tell them too much. i would like a few pplz to cry with me and comfort me, but i don't need anyone crying for me. it will onli make me feel guilty for the tears and bad that i put them through it.
i don't know for sure what i said, but that's jus how i am...and i felt like getting that point across. i'm crazy..and pplz love that part of me..but i have other characteristics that pplz envy and wish they had....then..there are pplz who can't stand me. but i believe they have their reasons...and i can't do anything..well..not much..i can't do much to change that. so i'll stay the same, i'll stay the way i am, and be proud of it. there's no reason to hate or do anything to mess things up for urself and others. life is too short, and u onli have one. so u have to live ever day as if it were ur last...cherish it, and keep it in the bottom of ur heart. u'll never lose it, unless u give up on everything.
hmm...i jus needed to get a few things off my back. sorry if i made u guys think i'm crazy..but as one person would say.."haha u ARE crazy" so...hehe oh well. i guess i'll ttyl pplz... nighty nightz.
"The truth is difficult. But if u don't face it, you might as well stop living."
-Amon
Comments
(2)
« Home |
|
