Wednesday, February 22, 2006

It'd be nice to go back to those days.
So it happened. I feel like I don't want to be a functioning human being. I just want to curl up in a ball and not wake up. but I have to. No matter how late I stay up tonight trying to make it go away I still have to wake up at 7am tommorow and go to biology and Htm class and religion class. I still have to pretend I care. I still have to go to work, I stil have to study for my midterm that I have on thursday.
They're taking away the one person that is always there, who is keeping me together this semester. The one person who has kept me together since I was 11 years old. This is all because someone is lying. She will probably be gone by the end of the week. I want to cry and scream break things. this is all the biggest bull shit on the planet.
She is taking it so much better.
i don't want to sleep tonight it will make it one day closer to her leaving.
Someone hates me this year or just wants to test me to my limit and they are getting pretty damn close.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Meet the wall! OWWWW
Tommorow or really today on otaku time, could be really bad.
I can't sleep I'm so worried. I want it to be that I got all worked up for nothing. My Dad says relax prepare yourself for the worst and hopefully it won't happen. It got me thinking there are alot worse things that could happen tomorrow. but someone would probably have to die to make it worse then what could happen.
Ok I am sorry. I will stop making you guys worry. Hopefully tommorow night I will be posting everything is fine I got all worked up for nothing. why isn't my life giving me a break as if I havent had enough crap lately.
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Thursday, February 16, 2006

Keep the main thing the main thing. (leadership class :P)
Hmm so I had a very nice Vday. :D lots of random candies from friends. Even a rose from one of my guy friends. That was great totally not expected. I even found a random person to flirt shamlessly with. So much fun. But anyway presentations to finish up b4 tommorow.
Laters all
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Fall on my face just to make today better.
HEHE i told you i was going to make sure the heading didnt match the post. :P
life I dont know what i can say... classes, friends everyonce and awhile and lots of work :P
but its good i still cant wait for it to be the end of the semester to be going home. but looking on the bright side of life helps.
Happy V day everyone.
heres to loving the life you have choosen to live.
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Saturday, February 11, 2006

San Diego has a nice climate.
Literally nothing will go right even when i am trying to be happy and content.
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Thursday, February 9, 2006

your brain uses massive amounts of energy
In the office...Whats new? not much. Quite content to be staying in hawaii. Life is back to normal HA if that even exsists. I can't wait till April. Home No more being an RA ever again!! and travel. Start seeing little bits of the world again.
Hmm I'm very random like a hurricane I think with multiple eyes. Right now its one of those eyes where everything is restful, peaceful, I can be content with the way I'm running my life.
YEA no classes tomorrow. Entrepeneurship conference (we encourage you to go since your business majors) Suckas im not in it for the business!!
So really it means free time for me!
ok time to read more biology. :P
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Saturday, February 4, 2006

WS means more then West Side
Im about to fall asleep. I hope. Hopefully two residents wont come knocking on my door as I am falling asleep. ohh wait that already happened. Our neighbours are to noisy so we came to your room at 1am because we are to meek to pound on their door ourselves and ask them to be quiet. I love the little asian girls and i know its there culture but come on! I guess its cause Im an RA and I have the authority of fines and all that crap but really im sure their RA mustve been home. (they werent even in my quad....) Why am I so nice.
So got redressed walked to the other side of the dorm and pounded on the girls door. Hey illegal guest what fun. Told them it was quiet hours and their friend needed to leave immediately or I'd start handing out the hundred dollar fine each that comes for having someone in your room that isnt you or your roommate past 12. so i turn around they close their door. My angry stern voice is already on.  Pound again tell them to leave this time she did thank goodness or id of had to go to the office and get the forms and then have to go into the office on my day off to explain it to the dorm parent who does nothing...
Oh the joys of RAdom soon it will be april soon i will be free. My brain will be free from classes and my soul free from this horrible fate that i for some reason thought i could handle....
i have a feeling we'll being doing bedchecks soon. why cant our school be like the rest of the world, we are so anal...
ok good night hopefully no one comes knocking or I'll be cleaning up blood....

side note: Im doing better today was the go through the motions of living and just not care stage but a few things have happened today that make me glad, talked to best friend and dad for a long time. Those two know me to well. I think Im over it I think really school will be ok again when im not an RA anymore next year....
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Friday, February 3, 2006

flight 90 gets me almost home
So umm arghh I guess im staying in Hawaii next year. I think? I didnt get accepted at the school i wanted to transfer to. I got the letter tuesday and well had tryed to see if there was anything to do to reverse that... this morning was the final answer. i really hate crying!!!! makes me feel like some stupid emotional something or other and now i feel like ive failed again. I dont know why i want to leave so badly. my dad thinks hey maybe its just cause your an RA i hope he is right. We will test the waters next fall and see what happens. i can always try and apply again. or just take a semester off and travel. hmm ive wanted to see europe for a long time.
ok i got to concentrate exams to take people to try and face without screaming, i thinks the worst people do the usual hey how you doing. and i promised a long time ago to answer that question truthfully instead of the usual "good". so ive just been answering arghh not talking about it or ill cry to people who know me and saying ohh just grand to others. my friend told me i should lie to her so i went on about how life was great and i meet the man of my dreams and we are gonna go get a house with a dog. :P
ok thats it... life is just grand and dandy. (im a sarcastic ho)
ok good night

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Thursday, February 2, 2006

Crunchy Mini M&Ms
Doom doom doom
So the last two days have been, Well I'm not going to talk about it just yet. Tommorow i will be put out of my misery. either i will get good news or bad news and depending on which way the news goes depends on which way my life goes. I am so anxious!!! I wish it was tommorow! well technically today on otaku time....
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Friday, January 27, 2006

camels are way to tall.
So I am enjoying going to the gym. It feels good and like Im accomplishing a good workout. YEA FOR NEW GOALS! So go me! haha Its worth it but boy is it gross how sweaty you get. :P
Anyway life is the same I go to classes way to early in the morning and then go back to my room or go to do some study. Then I usually have work and after thats when I go to the gym.
I feel so unsocial but maybe the weekend will fix that. Ohh grr I work all day saturday. My favourite :P
Well all of you have a great weekend and probably see you saturday.
LATERS!!

EDIT: Little Brother is back in NZ for his senior year of high school. For some reason Im so glad he got to go back. THough when i get home this april Im going to miss him like crazy and who will i have random phone calls with now. Though I get random emails from him :D so that will have to suffice.
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