Tuesday, January 8, 2008

It's 2008!!
Happy New Year!

Azure: Yeah, I first got a Mac when my old laptop crashed over a year ago, and that was definitely a great decision, especially since I'm using parallels to run Windows when I need it. And I got Leopard through my school store, which was hella cheap.. about $50 off the list price. And I thought Japanese loved foreigners, especially Americans! :O

Japan: Argh, this will have to do, until I get a better one up that actually makes me look 20 rather than 17. -_- Link

Hope you guys had a fun holiday, and for those of you who are still on break.. enjoy it while you can. >.< I'm back at school for Winter session, and holy shit, I had no idea that campus could get even more boring. lol And besides that, classes = work now, gah! I'm taking Asian Philosophy and a gym (billiards), primarily because the former has always seemed interesting but is only offered during the Winter/Summer, so I thought I'd broaden my experiences a bit. Hopefully this will still leave time to relax, study Japanese, and hang out with friends. ^_^;

Speaking of hanging out with friends, guess what I didn't do on New Year's Eve? lol Yeah, it was kind of lame. I originally had plans of chilling with a couple people, but one had a party to go to and the other just wanted to draw all night. So I ended up just playing some Zelda: Twilight Princess for most of the night, stopped for two minutes to watch the ball drop, and then right back to my Wii, which will always love me. ;_; I did do a lot of chatting on AIM that night, though, so it somewhat made up for my lack of socialization IRL, omg.

So while I was chatting, I came up with some resolutions for the Hell of it. Usually I don't bother with this because I see it as wishful thinking that I probably won't get around to anyway, but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. I really don't mind sharing it publicly, since I figure if you guys notice I'm slacking on one area you can give me a heads up. :p Not that I expect anyone to remember this list later this year, haha.
-Increase Quality (always a must)
-Get a girlfriend (more specifically, by the end of Spring semester)
-Study Abroad in Japan
-Research, and vote in, the election
-Choose graduate programs
-Increase socialization (should be a higher priority than studying, and needed for that 2nd resolution)
-Become more assertive/opinionated (I think I'm too passive)
-Read 12 books (a book a month on top of my other work shouldn't be too hard)
-Watch anime I've downloaded
-Beat video games I have series of (Zelda, Metroid, Mario, Metal Gear)
-Catch up to anime in manga
-Stop cracking joints (except back, neck, knees, wrists - started stopping a couple months ago but want to make sure)
-Bench a full set of my body weight (I'm about 15 lbs away, I think)
-Get a six-pack (<_< it's been coming in too slowly)
-Get to purple belt in Jujitsu (I'm at yellow right now, next is green then purple)
-Learn a total of 400 kanji (right now I know 100)
-Draw more (2 major pieces and 5 fan art, haven't drawn since high school)
-Get better at DDR (best = Max 300 A, Max Unlimited C - even reaching where I was at before would put me in great shape)

So lately I've found myself alone with my thoughts a lot more than I usually experience during the semester, and I keep coming across this feeling of suffocation. It's like I'm stuck in some sort of rut in my life, going through all of the motions without allowing room for relaxation and creativity; everything is grey, bland, empty, and one big stomach ache. Seemingly a result of lacking socialization right now, I feel like my priorities are all mixed up, but I have no idea where the problems lie or how to order them in a meaningful way. lol But then when I think about socialization itself during these times, it seems to function as more of a distraction from these strange feelings I've been having, though it does a great job of it!

Do you guys ever feel like this? Could it be some mild form of depression, which could account for my feelings of deficiency in certain areas of the aforementioned resolutions, or am I just bored? Or could it be because I'm starting to sort of like some girl, and because I generally over-think situations and need to improve my confidence I've felt like I'm already going through rejection? I don't want to come off as emo, but whatever it is it's pissing me off, and I need to write about it or I'm going to go insane. haha I'd like to start the year off on the right footing, ya know?
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