Tuesday, March 18, 2008

WAAAAAAAAH

MY UPPER RIGHT TEETH HUUUUUUUUUUUURT!!! TToTT thats where i have my fillers =[ itai.... all i did was munch on a chocolate cookie...damn yummy cookie. no school friday or monday ^o^ yay! oh...must ask mom if melissa can spend the night. maru~

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

~kondo-san~

maru has a light pink cut in the middle of her boobies down....wonder where she received it.... so we were doing problems in math about buying condos. in study hall i asked the teacher for help on a problem, she didn't get it so i called nathan over. i reread the problem and said, "buying a $76,000 condom." then wondered, damn wouldn't it be horrible if condoms cost that much? mom is having friends over for dinner tonight, i think i'll sneak in a nap. maru~ & Mr. Condom

Sunday, March 9, 2008

thoughts of boredom...

i think i've come to realize that i put on a mean personality when i'm with people i don't know, trust, or care for. i've compared myself to how i act to my friends, to the people at school (which are total bitches, and its a small school of 100....yes those actually exist), and i see that i'm quieter, reserved, and a lil mean. but when i'm with my friends i'm not. of course people do act different with strangers than they do their loved ones. but these are people in school that i talk to every day. so what keeps me from being the real me? do i think differently of them, so therefore i act to be like them? do i do this as a self protection act so if they hurt me i don't care because they don't know me? or do i do this to blend in easier and not cause conflict? if it is so i can act like them, then what have i become? some whore who wants to blend in with the shallow school i go to? i love being different, i don't want to be a modern version of a bitchy country barbie-doll. if it's for protection, then is this bad that i feel the need to constantly protect myself? if it's the conflict issues, then i need to get over it. the ideal of humorous fights appeal to me >=] (such as i'm tempted to wear a shirt that says "bisexual love<3" to bible camp. (or would that be mean?) tempting no? ) or is it a completely different meaning? i have so many thoughts racing in my head that i push back until i have time to deal with them. THAT is not good, it's good to think about all the shit that's in your head...which i completely suck at that rule. maru~

Friday, March 7, 2008

   i wanna fuck you like an animal<3

i am currently obsessed with the song "closer" by nine inch Nnails. i think i gave up writing poems a few years ago...so this is an attempt i made in school when i was bored. please be brutally honest i like to learn from mistakes =] my heart a short term use, thrown away from secret abuse. can you see the cracks formed deeply? from those who used me so freely? the black bruises now tainted me here, where their silent blows hit everywhere. these stab wounds from anger's hot words, with blood dripping into growing pools. all this from the world's fucking fools. with bloody fingers i slip from grace. now watch my soul leave this human race. i'm one inch shorter than kyo, sad isn't it? THANK YOU FUCKIN GOVERMENT THAT IT'S FRIDAY!!!! school is slowly driving me mad. people are such idiots here i've went back to my sarcastic self at their stupid questions. Your Five Variable Love Profile Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is low. You've probably either had only one relationship.. Or all of your relationships have been very similar. You still have a lot to learn... and a lot to try! Dominance: Your dominance is low. This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced. You know a relationship is not about getting your way. And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is high. Sure you believe in love, but you know it doesn't come easily. You scoff at "love at first site" and "soumates." You rather take the real thing, as unglamorous as it is. Independence: Your independence is medium. In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time." You usually find it easy to be part of a couple. But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered. The Five Variable Love Test good or bad?? you decide. maru~

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

mothers

does anyone get extremely pissed at their moms be? mine is being an annoying bitch. see mom and maru can handle spending time together. but when mom haves 3 days off and i'm home, it brings issues. i swear to god if i wasn't a good person.... ever since i've been home we've been bickering. a shame, i want me dad to be happy while he's here. he's leaving tomorrow =[ if i didn't love my friends so much i'd be long dead by now. maru p.s, myotaku is not letting me reply to my messages to please be patient.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

i ates a cookie. it was yummy

MY DADDY IS COMING HOME TOMORROW!!! YAYZ!!!! =^o^= we are gonna play xbox games and go for walks and argue and drink and kick each others asses >=] my dad is awesome. if there was a dad's awesomeness award he would win #1. i am babysitting a girl tonight. i need the money, my beloved eyeliner is going out TToTT maru~

Saturday, February 23, 2008

   so lately....

maru is almost failing 3 classes =[ my new school is so small they have independant study classes (courses you take home through email or mail.) i'm now taking mythology. i have till next year to do it. but mom wants me to finish it before school ends which is in may. english we're learning how to read a friggin newspaper biology we're doing this role play assignment where we make out own land and have herbivores on it and pick these fortune papers and see how they live. (essay afterwards.) world geography he's teaching us history math sucks ass plainly i have so much math homework, not to mention the other classes TOT how is everybody? i have not been on in awhile, gomen ne. thank you for those who messaged me missing me i feel loved =] love ya! maru

Friday, February 15, 2008

GAWD FUGGIN ASHASKFD

DROPPING A CAN ON YOUR SMALL TOE HURTS LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER!!1!1 it took all my power not to scream into the phone i was talking into!! but damn i cried a little TOT it's all purple and swollen. on a happy note, I BAKED ALL BY MYSELF!! sugar cookies with cinnamon.....it tasted oh so yummy. until i got to the middle and realized it was a lil doughy... =\ another note yukii is being a jackass >=[ i think i just got sensitive talking to him. but he left anika, being one of the reasons she started crying. anyways no more drama for tonight. maru

Thursday, February 14, 2008

^-^

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! <333

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

   sick sick sick

maru-chan's throat is all scratchy and her nose wont leave her alone TOT *sniffle* WHY DO PEOPLE HUG SICK PEOPLE?! they will cough on you....or....i will. i must go blow my nose maru