Oh...you know.
One of my former classmates died two days ago. That sounds dramatic, doesn't it? But I suppose it is. And sad. So, so sad. Even if we were never on good terms - when we had contact at all, he made a spectacular effort to make me miserable - I still mourn for him. I suppose it took a day to truly soak in.
People say, "So what? I hated him, why should I miss him?" but...he was a peer. Doesn't that mean something? He was one of us, and now he's not coming back. He is gone. He will never hug his mother again, he will never start a car again, never laugh with his friends...good god, if it really means that, he'll never toke up again. The finality of it all feels as though it will crush me.
It occurs to me that there is not a crying emote up there. Why is that, I wonder?
Something about how dispassionate people my age - high school students! - can be about death just unnerves me. Is it all the media we see? How ten soldiers dying in Iraq doesn't make news anymore? How movie characters are arbitrarily and gorily killed? I just don't know. It's all so hopeless. People should be ashamed - my so-called friends should be ashamed. How immature and heartless.
"Why should I care if he's dead?" Because he existed. Because his mother loved him. Because he had a little sister. A friend says, "A boy is dead."
A boy is dead today, and forevermore. So be it. |
Air Batucada