myOtaku.com: TearlessGreyEyes

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-06-13
Gender
• Female
Location
• I am where I am. Where that is, is none of your concern. Thank you.
Member Since
• 2006-08-29
Occupation
• Philosopher of sorts.
Real Name
• Raine Sage if u may so kindly call me.

Personal

Achievements
• Achievements acknowledged by others countless, yet meaningless. Achievements my most cherished and I acknowledge are few, yet meaningful.
Anime Fan Since
• Who knows when I began.
Favorite Anime
• Loveless, Inuyasha, DNAngel, FLCL, Tsubasa, xxxHolic, Kamichama Karin, Chrono Crusade, Fullmetal Alchemist, Cardcaptor Sakura, etc.
Goals
• To become a doctor and to live my life fully, get married, have at least one child, and die in a honourable way rather than death by cowardice. Probably while protecting someone.
Hobbies
• play guitar, paint, draw, write, listen
Talents
• painting, drawing, writing stories, poetry, play guitar, and to listen

myOtaku.com: TearlessGreyEyes

Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

A Story of Love

Let me tell u a story,
of one never heard,
or even thought of,
in this strange world.

A long time ago,
really long ago it was.
There was a small girl
who's plight was thus,

She was taunted with cruel words,
Was beaten by children of her own age.
Was laughed at by elders
who didn't believe her dismay.

She cried every evening,
and sobbed in the morn.
some say she never stopped crying
since she had been born.

She wanted nothing but love
and wanted rid of her tears.
Once, she almost
gave into despair.

She went home one day,
say mommy and daddy.
she asked them one question.
which started the rally.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked that day.
her parents both laughing had nothing to say.
she turned away and left the room.
and tears fell down that little girl's face.

she locked the window,
her bedroom door as well.
and she buried her face
and in her pillow she yelled.

she let out her anger
and her hatred combined.
and in these 4 walls
she still sits confined.

her only friend,
a worn teddy bear for her.
for she was the only known
friendless little girl.

she clutched the animal to her chest,
and waited in the dark.
for sumone to come
with love in their heart.

love is what she wanted,
but none had given
so locked in that room,
mad she was driven.

even today, that little girl sits.
holding the bear to her chest.
waiting for sumone to come pass
and for the love she wanted to caress.

where is the girl?
in a town far away.
what town u ask?
who knows where it lay.

u may even find her
a street over from u
waiting and watching
for sumone approved.

do u think she was mad?
or do u think she was crazed?
for those without love,
their acts of which u'd be amazed.

if u were without love,
would u do the same?
protect ur heart
from every pain.

lock urself up,
and hold what little u have,
and pray sumone
will come at last.

before u hate sumone,
with taunts and jeers,
think for a moment of the girl,
who has waited these long years.

give everyone love
even if u do not see why.
for everyone does not deserve
to be condemned to an eternal cry.

let me tell u a story
of one never heard,
or even thought of,
in this strange world.

a long time ago
a really long time ago it was
a little girl cried
all night and forever was.

Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, March 26, 2007

is it monday?

i keep forgetting its monday. i keep thinking its saturday. dunno why...... i got iowa testing tomorrow... and the next day.... and the next day.... then thats it. i always ask.. why do i have to take the iowa test! i live in louisiana!! i dun get the skl's "logic". anyone wanna help me? ^^' i also feel happy tho cuz my best friend's boyfriend gave her money .... and gave me money. 28 bucks! thats a lot for someone i'm not even dating nor am i friends with him. he doesn't even get allowance or a job so no telling where the money comes from. maybe he's stealing it! ..... nah... he's too lazy. *shrugs* whatever. well for sum reason i'm happy even tho i've suffered a series of unfortunate events. one of my best friends erm... ex best friend hates me now (to tell the truth it was my fault but i've learned to accept it), i have stupid testing, i can't decide if i want to move skls or not, mum is gonna eventually ground me if i don't start acting better (whatever that means. i've been the exact same since ........ long ago i guess. so i'll just argue my way out of like always. ^^') and also, there has been an increase in perverts lately....... time for target practice!! lol. well, PM me if ya want. seeya later. ^^

Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, March 16, 2007

...

I'm not sure. Not really anyway. I always feel as confident as possible, like anything and everything could be perfect, but then i end up crashing. Crashing from heights like a plane from thousands of miles off the ground. The worst kind of pain being right by the thing u want the most, or the thing u love the most, knowing that u can't have it. no matter what u do u can't have it. i'm not sure on how i feel. i think i feel a certain way, and i think i want something, but it all proves wrong. like i'm lying to myself. and i feel like i'm lying to those i care about. and for some reason i feel as if i'm to weak to protect them. i want to protect them from anything and yet i fail to do just that. that is the one thing i wanted to do and now i kno i can't do it. but i'll keep trying. no matter what. and i guess i can just keep trying until i can fully understand things and learn to take the pain. u kno, today is the day i can finally live by a saying i have said but not used my entire life. don't ever forget the bad becuz the good would only seem normal. when ur in pain u feel happier when sumone just gives u a hug. than if u were just happy u and u were hugged. or like that food tastes better when ur twice as hungry. ^^ ok. i'm just rambling now but i just wanted to get my thoughts out. thank u for actually reading it too. ^^ love u all.

How you guys doing? My life sucks. My friends are being tortured by the evil PE teachers. one of my friends passed out on the bleachers today. her and her friend. they basically stopped breathing. she's ok now and i hope her friend is too. they ran suicides which if u don't kno what they r its basically run, run, run, and run some more. then run again. it super suxks. i hate them too but i am very lucky to not have PE this semester. but i wish i did. cuz if i passed out and stopped breathing i could sue my skl's ass off. whether i win or lose, the teachers would probably get fired and my parents get money to pay for my life support the skl had caused me. yup. they would have probably make my heart and lungs explode and burn into ashes. and i am athletically challlenged so chances of this happening is twice as likely. oh yeah. one of my other friends she was late so they made her run, run, run, and run some more. and then run again. she then possibly collapsed, her heart was over exerted, she could not breathe, she was banging her head on the concrete, crying and coughing and hacking, and no one would help her but maybe a couple ppl in the midst of 70 ppl. the teachers did not respond when my other friend was yelling "come over here, someone is in trouble" 20 minutes later, they finally came, told sumone to go get a coach that knew what they should have already known what to do. they got her out of the sun after a few minutes or so, nearly drowned her in water instead of helping her swallow it, she eventually blacked out and her heart stopped. and almost no one believes it was serious. she was overexerted at PE, and she nearly died at PE. becuz no one cared. and they say she faked it and are calling her a drama queen. *sarcasm* yeah right, she totally faked it and made her heart stopped. *end sarcasm* i am totally killing those who joked about calling an ambulance when she was at most 6 feet away, laughing at her to her face, just saying that she would fine soon, and ignoring the fact that she would have died. now she is fine and is about to go kill sum ppl. i wish i could but i am if u remember athletically challenged. but my other friend (the one that passed out) can kill ppl. so she and her r going to go on a killing rampage. and i will be happily watching as i write the names and possibly go up to them one at a time and mentally damage them as the smart person i am i have the ability to do that. *plays with nearby puppet of victim* DANCE PUPPET DANCE!!! *insert evil laugh here* how i wish i could really do that to them. may chaos wreak upon their souls and torment them for life. and may they have a good day in hell. in other news, more like a little good news, she could give a list of the ppl who made fun of her to the superintendent who for once in my life i will thank to no end about this......... but i still hate him......... anyhoo, i don't kno wut will happen to those vile cretin-like sorry excuses for human beings. but i do hope they rot and die, burn and burn again, and all that other good stuff. yup. hateful, yes i am, gory, yes i am, about to play mind games, yes i will. well, thank u for reading, plz leave a comment on this weird and horrific and violent series of events. and plz, if u want i will in no way be revolted by harsh language. plz, i want ot kno what u think of this. so be truthful. that is a way to make society better. and i'm kind of bored. so if u want, message me. i will listen and i will respond back. fascinating isn't it? well i might not respond back. BUT u never kno. have a good day, tell the truth, feed ur dog ur veggies, and always beat ppl up if they make fun of others who apparently their heart stopped and no one is helping. goodbye, i wish good fortunes to u all. jsut u ppl tho. not them. of course not them. i wish bad things to them. but u otakuites. have a good day, may good fortunes be with u, and may u get lots of presents on ur b-day. farewell.

ok. my friend made me get a myspace. so if u have one.... plz be my friend? just search for my email pinkeye89@aol.com and it will have a jack skellington pic on it. so plz be my friend. i don't want just tom to be my friend. lol. anyhoo, so how have u guys been? thats it. goodbye.

My darn friend got me sick! >.< well, at least she's better now. ^^' well, i'm super bored so if anyone wants to PM me go on ahead. bye.

poems... yet again. but wutever right. u all seem to like them. (by the way, thanks to all who comment on my poems) sadly enough, i won't become much of a writer. probably only part-time. i shall fulfill my dream of becoming a doctor and an author/poet on the side. well then, i will let u all read my poems yet again. or rather just one for today.

Poisoned Knives

The rain falls down like poisoned knives.
Just like the way they look at me.
Disgusted looks imprinted in my mind.
Just like poisoned knives that pierce me.

To hide behind my shield of hate,
Is to hide from darkness as well as light.
An only escape through death's gate,
I must open, lest surrender to the reaper's fight.

Supposedly read just like a book,
but the pages are torn and frayed.
I wish for consoling words and loving looks,
but only pain is suppressed by prayed.

All their words are tearing me up inside,
Shredded from mind to spirit, as if I'm nothing.
I am now nothing. Haunted forever in mind.
Their words tear deep, and they bleed steadily.

He held my pain, for I am who he cared.
Carried part of my burden and sorrow.
He softly spoke when it was too much to bear.
But then he was taken the day after 'morrow.

The pain grew greater as his death tore deep,
The one I cared most gone in one blink.
He left me my burden and my pain to keep.
Too heartbroken, my mind clouded, unable to think.

The rain feels like poisoned knives,
Knives that pierce so deep.
Although it cleanses me of pain in mind.
His death like knives, that pain I shall keep.

Honestly, I have no clue what to write most of the time and if I wrote my daily life I would either fill up this space to maximum and beyond or nothing at all. Poems are what I love to write so I shall continue writing them here when I truly have nothing to say.

Your Voice

I lie in bed,
await your call.
Your sweet voice,
keeps me calm.
In pain I lie,
hardly breathing.
Hurry and come,
the pain's seething.
The voices in my head,
all haunr me like a ghost.
Only your voice can keep them at bay,
And keep my heart from going cold.
Come for me,
Don't leave me behind.
Save me from my fears,
and these voices of mine.

A Promise

I made you a promise.
A few days before you died.
I intend on keeping it.
This secret I confide.
To save others,
when I couldn't save you.
To aton for my sin,
This promise I'll keep, too.

Lonely in Company

I can hear them all around me,
I can feel their touch,
I can smell their scents,
But I can't see them as such.
I can't see their faces,
each wearing their own mask.
I walk with them as they begin to walk ahead.
It is always I who take last.
I am always lonely,
Though no one sees it.
They leave me there,
As the last one left.
What makes me wonder,
a question from the start,
If there are always people around me,
Then why do I feel lonely in my heart?

How many of you have experienced a deja vu moment when you listen to music? Where the words just seem to fit right into place when compared to your life? How many have said that you really walk "the boulevard of broken dreams" and how many have said "do you ever feel like breaking down, do you ever feel out of place, like somehow you just don't belong, and no one understands you" when confronted by others who just hate the way you walk and talk? How many have said "I cannot find a way to describe it. It's there inside, all I do is hide. I wish that it would just go away. What would you do, you do if you knew, what would you do?" when desperate for help? How many cry at least once a day, whether it shows or just on the inside everytime you find that those words are actually true? How many have said "help me" at least once, and how many have said "kill me" at least twice. How many have lost the person dearest, and how many hated for mourning a death that happened years ago? How many have listened to the wind, hoping that it may tell you something? How many have wished they could be loved but have never received love? How many believe that they should be dead?

I have answered "I have" to every question. Have any of you? Because many have stated that they were alone and no one understands. This is not true. There is always someone who loves you and when you die, will mourn endlessly for you.

Dear brother in heaven, I love you now. I mourn your death even now. Four years have past and yet I miss you. Tears fall down and I wish I could drown. I love you. Wait for me. I'll be there when I'm done here on earth. Love, Big Sis.

Anyone who thinks they are unloved and no one will care if they died, think again. I love you all with everything I am. I would cry and mourn for you if you died thinking you were unloved. Those who think they can't hang on, please stay a little longer. Stay for those who will cry and mourn when you are gone from an out of turn death.

I decided to add more poems. Thanks to all who commented on my last entry. Well, here it is. Enjoy.

My Song

Rewritten is my symphony.
The words unchanged.
By the musical notes,
They shall remain.
My song of everlasting.
Eternity in hand.
Forever it shall play.
To never stop to any demand.

Just a Doll

You sewed my heart
Back into one
But you never
cut the thread.
You held me
by the string
my heart in your hand
sewn back from the dead

Sewn at the seams
the doll comes to life
Reformed, renewed
to your delight.
Your new found follower,
You pawn to use.
In your eyes,
that's all I am to you.

Unique Angel

An angel fell from heaven once,
Her white wings turned inky black.
She struggled to lift herself from the ground,
But to no avail, for strength she lacked.
She landed in a graveyard,
To forever remain her punishment.
To see and feel the pain of spirits,
And to be forever torment.
Her sins were being different,
Having a mind of her own.
Because of her unique personality,
She has reaped what she had sown.

The Flame

I watch the flame,
It's dancing gracefully.
I wonder if the flame is life
Or naught but materially.
It's heat feels nice,
It's warm soothing.
What would life be,
If we all were flames moving?