myOtaku.com: TearlessGreyEyes

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-06-13
Gender
• Female
Location
• I am where I am. Where that is, is none of your concern. Thank you.
Member Since
• 2006-08-29
Occupation
• Philosopher of sorts.
Real Name
• Raine Sage if u may so kindly call me.

Personal

Achievements
• Achievements acknowledged by others countless, yet meaningless. Achievements my most cherished and I acknowledge are few, yet meaningful.
Anime Fan Since
• Who knows when I began.
Favorite Anime
• Loveless, Inuyasha, DNAngel, FLCL, Tsubasa, xxxHolic, Kamichama Karin, Chrono Crusade, Fullmetal Alchemist, Cardcaptor Sakura, etc.
Goals
• To become a doctor and to live my life fully, get married, have at least one child, and die in a honourable way rather than death by cowardice. Probably while protecting someone.
Hobbies
• play guitar, paint, draw, write, listen
Talents
• painting, drawing, writing stories, poetry, play guitar, and to listen

myOtaku.com: TearlessGreyEyes

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Thoughts

I want to finally just open up my thoughts on here. This is the one place I can open up and not give a damn what anyone says. The one place I can be myself.
For so long, I've felt dead. And I know that some or maybe much more may have felt the same as me. Walking like a zombie, just living, but not really living. We are, and some were, dying slowly and painfully. We differ in how we became that way and how we suffered, but pain is pain no matter what. Some may have come from solitude, some from the lack of solitude, confinement, or something else. I myself have nearly died of being alone. Come to think of it, I was alone from the start, my mother being the only one who truly cared. I never had a true friend. Everyone stabbed me in the back, but I didn't care. I just didn't want to be alone. I finally found a true friend in third grade. We're still good friends, just not as close as before but we still love each other. I then shriveled from the thought of friendship. I didn't have anyone. My brother died 4 years ago. He was the most amazing brother ever. He still is. I love no one more than him. He's the most precious thing to me. We would always fight, but regardless of it all, we still loved each other. He would never leave my side, nor I his. But alas, we were separated by that cruel fate of death. Although, I am glad he is dead. I know that he is in heaven. I am a Christian and I am proud of it. I believe in God with my heart and soul and I know that my brother is resting in peace beside God. I don't care what anyone thinks. God is one of the reasons I am still alive. When my brother died, I was empty. I would let no one in. I wanted to be alone and die inside myself. To be engulfed in everlasting darkness. I wanted to be rid of all the pain. I reluctantly lived. I gave up on it. I promised my brother that I would become a doctor for children and help them. If I break this promise, it's like destroying the very meaning my brother meant to me. We never broke our promises to each other. I found friends who slowly but surely led me out of the darkness until i could see light. Even now, I am stuck in the twilight that is between night and day. Many of you have helped me get so far. I love you all. I love you so much that it hurts that I can't tell you all to your face.

Comments (2)
« Home