Sunday, June 24, 2007

still hiding.
i can't change anything. as much as i want to, what's done is done. it ain't nobody's fault.

he told me, 'i lost you in the aftermath when i receded.' i'm afraid that that might happen to me too. honestly. when i was a kid, i didn't have any friends at all. i do now, but i don't want that to happen again.

i'm sorry if this seems confusing, but it's an incredibly long story. Basically my best friend fell in love with an asshole and got hurt, badly. a long time ago he was really quiet, a "shell of himself," as he put it. he was able to come out and be himself, but after the pain and the shit happened, he began to recede into himself again. doing that, he lost a lot of friends, including myself.

i'm tryin to be there for him, i really am. he's better now, and healing, but during the shit time he ran to a few people for help, and i was one of them. he told me once, a few weeks ago, that "if anything its the fact that i ran to you for help.. bringing the storm with me only so it could taint you.."
heh. well...

I don't know why I'm making such a huge deal about this. Except...he's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. It would never be "Love", but I feel/felt a real connection with him.

so. i'm here.
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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

unguaaahh..
I think...I just lost someone that I love very much a few weeks ago. I was too blind to see it, but now I do.

A few months ago, a storm hit, one like no other. It wasn't a storm of rain and wind, but of pain and suffering all caused by one person, all directed at the person who fell in love with him. He got hurt, and became what he never wanted to be again. The people that he ran to for help got hit with the pain as well, as we couldn't help him. Everyone knew that it would end badly, and it did.
Now the storm is over, and he's healing, but he left me behind in the dust. Even after I tried to help him heal from the pain, even after being tainted by the pain myself, he left me.
And I'm hurt. And bitter.

But I still love him. So I'm going to wait, to see if he comes back for me.
If he doesn't...

:(
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Saturday, June 16, 2007

so. um.
busy busy week. i started volunteering. i work in the pharmacy at the va. basically i put pills in vials, labels on vials, caps on vials...i fold papers too. yeah. fun business. but at least it's something to do, instead of hanging around the house all day bored.

so yesterday i woke up at 4:45pm. i had gone to sleep at 2am, and my folks let me sleep all day. my dad woke me up when he came home from work. it's 4:50am right now, so i dunno. i wasn't planning on getting any sleep.

it's storming outside right now o.o a little scary..

um. :D

.
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

well, there it goes
:)

I'm happy. and yet sad.
My beau is leaving for Europe on Wednesday, and he'll be gone for three weeks. Last night us n our folks (and his sister, also my best friend) went to Applebees and then Maggie Moo's.
If you take a look at the pic above...that's me and my beau. His teeth are a little crooked, hence the braces :) but he's a sweetie.

Do you want proof I'm falling in love? Just look at my playlist :)

But my buddy Mikey's coming over today. i'm pretty excited :)

bwaaah. yesterday i went to orientation for volunteer service at the va hospital. it'll be my second year, and orientation got, if possible, even more boring. They showed the same movies and said the same stuff, not to mention there's some annoying retards volunteering who were just being...rude. :P

mmmm. :)
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Monday, June 11, 2007

Feel like right shite, I do
Yay. I think I'm sick. :)

I got to sample my dad's shrimp. *GAG*
It was disgusting
It had the consistency of an orange
But really, really gross.

So now I can say I've tried shrimp ^_^ And I didn't like it.

Me n my beau are going out to dinner tonight with our families. His dad just came home from Iraq for a few weeks last week, so this'll be the first time meeting him as the girlfriend :) I just hope I'm feeling better by then, since we're going to Applebees and I love Applebees. Maybe I just need a good night's sleep.

But buuuuuh. I don't much care for right now. There's so much drama going on, it's making my head spin.

but um. yeh. check out the picture :) That's me. I didn't expect it to turn out so big, but whatever...

zz
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Sunday, June 10, 2007

   muahahahahbwweeehahah
:D

yo yo yo.
I'm just chillin here
wondering where the hell everybody else is.

Well, I was flipping out a little bit because I had to break the news to my folks that I failed my English final. Well, it turns out it's not that big of a deal, since I failed two other finals too. But I passed everything in the end :D

But um. Like I said on the last post (which no one read :(), I've been on myspace. It's where I talk to my best friends from school, etc. :)

So check out my playlist ^_^ It's nice
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Saturday, June 9, 2007

   ich bin cool, bist du cool? ja, logo, ja! :D
I've been spending all of my time on myspace.
Sorry darlings.
But I do so enjoy talking to the people on there.
(:

Sooo much shite has gone down. I'm a junior now, and I've got the most amazing bf in the world. I'll post pics soon :)

I'm not expecting many people to read this, but I missed y'all. :D

So yeah. :)
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Monday, April 2, 2007

   my weekend
Friday: slept
Saturday: slept, woke up with a splitting headache, went shopping, came home, slept some more
Sunday: went to church, did nothing. XP

I'm not good at calling people...Not that I would've been much fun on Friday and Saturday. This past week was killer.



Yeah, I already said that I'm not good at calling people. I wanted to go to Mikey's but I chickened out :P




*mrow*
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Monday, March 26, 2007

BIRFDAY!
Today's my birthday! xD

Yesterday I had some friends come over. Only four showed up...but it was the four that I really wanted to come, so I'm happy.

My mom ordered some music online for me for my bday so that's exciting.

...I don't have anything exciting to talk about. Except that it's my birthday...





gnite ¢¾
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Monday, March 19, 2007

yo yo yo whats the dealio.
Hi. Hello. Guten Tag. xD

My Spring Break was FANTASTIC (although I didn't really go anywhere). I'm sad to see it gone.



Actually, I have nothing much to report.
But I'll post anyways :P



I have a fetish! xD




¢¾
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