Monday, September 18, 2006

   Of a joyous song they sing
I have a headache. It's not going away. There. News flash for you. It's sort of on the sides of my head, in my temples. I don't know, does anyone have any idea what I can do to stop them? (sheesh, what a dee dee dee question. Take medicine...duh :P)

Once again, I have procrastinated until the last minute to do my English homework. Every weekend we get 20 vocabulary words and we have to put them in a sentence with certain rules. This time around we have to start 8 of them with an adjective, 8 with an adverb, and 4 with a participle. It's incredibly confusing. I'm going to be up all night. Yay.

I have nothing to talk about. I don't even know why I'm posting. I guess I should get off and go finish my english. Oh crap...I have to read too. Oh well. I can do that at lunch tomorrow.

I am so stressed out, I think I'm going to explode. -_-'

OH! Yesterday at church I helped out in the nursery with my mom. My church has three services. We normally go to the regular service in the middle service, and then the third service I go to the high school class, my mom goes to the nursery, and my dad goes home. Well, today I went with my mom. Them lil'uns made me want my sister to have babies even more, so that I can be an official aunt. Laughter.

Well, NOW I'm going. gnit.

Loretta Young

She's got sort of classic beauty, don't you think?

Monkey

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

But they never stop playing
Man. Life, huh? What's up with it?

Well yesterday was pretty busy. The chamber orchestra (which I'm in) performed at the Train Festival...outside. It was hot and windy. If it wasn't so dang humid, it wouldn't have been as much of a problem. When you feel sweat running down your back, then you know it's hot. And the wind. Geez. We had to use clothes pins to keep our music on the stand, but our stand kept moving with the wind. It got annoying. Other than the heat and the wind, I had a great time. I think we did a really good job. ...Yeah.

After the Train Festival (which, by the way, is exactly what it sounds like), my mom and I went to the movie store to rent some movies. We rented two movies. One was a movie called Girl, Interrupted, with Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie. The other was Troy. We've been reading the Iliad in English, and I love it. I guess I'm really weird, but I love reading it. I wanted to get the movie. It's pretty interesting, because in the book, Paris is hardly in it at all. In the movie, however, he's like one of the main characters (played by Orlando Bloom, so what did you expect?). -_-' I also rented The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords. I'm having so much fun with it. I'm on the...fourth level, I think. Yeah...fourth level. :D

Ok, so I sort of want to know something. What exactly are the requirements for getting into an R-rated movie if you're under 18? I'm curious, because some people have said that you need your parents there, and some said that you only need someone over 18. I honestly have no idea. Wikipedia says that anyone under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian 21 years or older with photo I.D. Adult guardian? Hm...Fill me in if you know?

Ugh. Only one picture tonight, then it's off to bed, off to bed, off to bed.

Everyone should know who this next one is. If you do, tell me. ^_^



Apocalypse has arrived.
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Friday, September 15, 2006

   To the lovely dancing lights, I beg
I'm so tired. I came home and slept for two hours today. ...

I took my Chemistry test yesterday. It was pretty ok, I suppose. I hope I made a good grade on it.

I'm sort of worried. I got my three week progress report yesterday (our school goes in intervals of 6 weeks. Every three weeks we get a progress report, and every six weeks we get our report card and middle school n elementary school get out early), and I'm making a 72 in World History. Certainly that has to do with the one or two assignments that I forgot about. My mom is going to be so angry at me. She's probably not going to be too pleased about the low B too...

I'm not feeling good at all. I've started having this little cough, and I've had a headache for a while. Just now I felt the sleepyness return, so I'm probably going to go to bed now.

This is Fay Wray. She's most well known as the screaming blonde chick in the original King Kong.

Wooh. Smokin. :D

I don't know if you'll find these funny unless you've seen Project Runway, but I would find them funny anyways. This first one, I call Homo Vincenticus. (Vincent is a complete crazy person)



I WANT YOUR SOUL!!!
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Twisted, twisting
Wow. I'm very tired. I'm going to bed right after I post this.

I took a test yesterday in World History, and a quiz in English. I'm pretty sure I passed both, but I don't think I aced them at all. I was spacing out all day, I've been tired. I will welcome Saturday with open arms.

Today I have a test in Chemistry. I'm not too excited about that one. It's one of my favorite classes, but I still don't like the material much. It's pretty difficult.

I joined myspace again. My mom let me. I've got 10 friends, all of whom I know from school. It's really exciting. :D

There's some sort of bug going around apparently. A few of my friends have gone home sick, and my mom said that there's something going around. I'm praying that whatever it is, I won't catch it. I can't afford to miss any school. If I fall behind, I'm not sure if I'll be able to catch up very easily. Hm.

I was so sad while watching my favorite show, Project Runway, last night. One of my favorite designers went home. *sob*

Ahem. Well....erm...

I've been getting into the whole 20's and 30's black and white movie deal, and I love it. I've got pictures of some actresses from way back then, and I think I'm going to post one everyday. Here's one of Jeanette MacDonald. She's still acting! Her first role was in 1944, and she's in a movie in 2007. Laughter.


Is she better looking than Marlene Dietrich? (you know who you are, one whom I asked)
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Saturday, September 9, 2006

All midnight eyes read
I'm here with my three good friends: Jen, Des, and Vikki. We're having a really good time (except everyone's falling asleep now, so I think bedtime's coming up shortly).

I finally got music to work on my site. Thanks so much Nikolaki (rabidminpin)!!! I really appreciate it. You can go up and press play, and it'll play Dancing Through Sunday by AFI.

I may or may not be on this site as much as I used to. I've been getting a lot more involved on vampirefreaks, and I've been spending all of my time there. Just to let y'all know.

Yet another short post. Don't y'all just love it? Sorry, no questions today, I'm too tired. Gnit

Will you join me in this dance, this dance of misery
Cradled in imposs... impossibility?
Swooning, I am swept away
Swept off my feet, with step by step by step, we take the lead
As drop by drop, we start to bleed
Oh, we dance in misery
(And we dance on, and we dance on)
Oh, we dance in misery
(All lost in the arms of our misery, oh)
Oh, we dance in misery
(And we dance on, and we dance on)
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept into the shadows

Will you lend yourself to beauty that will horrify?
Let me hide within your black, the still inside your eyes
Deafened, caught within a cry
So sensual, as step by step by step, I seperate
As breath to breath, as I... suffocate

(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
(Oh, we dance in misery)
All lost in the arms of our misery, oh
(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept into the shadows

So who will follow? Who is the lead?
I know I'll leave a stain, because I bleed
As we dance, we all dance
We all... have no chance in this horrid romance

I swear....

(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
(Oh, we dance in misery)
All lost in the arms of our misery, oh
(Oh, we dance in misery)
And we dance on, and we dance on
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept in the shadows
Swept off our feet by our misery, we're swept in the shadows
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Friday, September 8, 2006

Oh, If I could remain, but it's just a visit.
Here am I, posting again. I'm going to try and make this a regular thing.

I think that tomorrow will be a very hyper post with no deep thoughts, but that's tomorrow. For now, I'm sleepy and deep. Yay ****sarcasm****

My goal this year in high school is to make all A's. So far I'm doing well. That means doing all of the projects on time, listening in class (that will be a challenge in Algebra), doing all the homework, and studying.

Does anyone else play an instrument? I play the viola, as you may or may not already know. I absolutely love playing my viola. I've been playing for five years, and I'm in the top orchestra at my school. We perform a lot, and I don't mind in the least. Playing my viola is as natural to me as breathing. I love it so much. I want to be a professional viola player when I grow up. That would be my dream job.

Oh, and the poem on yesterday's post is not mine. It's from a song called ...But Home is Nowhere (the ... is part of the title). Everyone asked me that, and I feel bad because I didn't come up with that brilliant piece of work. If y'all like, I could try my hand at my own poems. It might take me a while, so for now, I'll just post songs and poems by others.

Well I have to go do my homework and then sleep. Good night.

Oh, one more thing. Does anyone know how to put music on the site, like real songs? Roiben has a Death Cab for Cutie song on her site, and she told me how to do it, but it didn't work. Does anyone know how to do it, or if it's even legal?

I can remember, a place I used to go.
Chrysanthemums of white
They seemed so beautiful.
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth.
I'd shut my eyes, to see.

Oh how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones.
I knew they would appear, saw not a single one.
Oh how I smiled then, waiting so patiently.
I'd make a wish and bleed.

While I waited , I was wasting away
While I waited , I was wasting away

I can remember...dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized dreams were the only place to see them.

While I waited , I was wasting away
While I waited , I was wasting away
While I waited , I was wasting away

Hope was wasting away.
Faith was wasting away.
I was wasting away.

I never, never wanted this.
I always wanted to believe.
Never never wanted this.
I could not help because.
Never Never wanted this.
From the start I'd been deceived.
Never never wanted this.
I could not help because.

I never, never wanted this.
I always wanted to believe.
Never never wanted this.
Never Never wanted this.
From the start I'd been deceived.
Never never wanted this.

Inside a crumbling effigy
(But you promised)
So dies all innocence
(But you promised me)

While I waited , I was wasting away
While I waited , I was wasting away
While I waited , I was wasting away

Hope was wasting away.
Faith was wasting away.
I was wasting away.
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Thursday, September 7, 2006

And in the mirror, all midnight eyes.
I got 8 comments on my last post. I believe that's more than I've had in a long while.

Yesterday after school the German club got together for Spagettieis. It's ice cream (eis) that's molded to look like spagetti. Toppings included strawberry syrup, which was made to look like spagetti sauce, and white chocolate grated to look like parmesan cheese. It was positively divine.

I got my friend to watch Project Runway. I've been watching it since season two, and I love it. It's by far my favorite show. My friend Jen started watching it, and she really likes it now. Am I good or what?

Since I asked about fears on my last post, I'll ask what you love doing most. I love to write fiction. My favorite genres are angst, tragedy, and romance. I like to think that I have a flair for words, but I doubt it. I haven't been able to write any true stories for a very long time. It's sort of sad. I also love reading. I could read all day long and never get tired of it.

It's strange. I've been feeling different lately. You might have noticed that my writing styles on my posts have changed a bit. Then again, maybe you haven't. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Is it just me?

I fell asleep in World History yesterday. I was so tired, and my eyes were sliding shut. By the time Thursday comes around, I'm already ready to sleep away the weekend.

Well, I'm going to go. My bed is calling me. Gnit.

We held hands on the last night on earth
Our mouths filled with dust.
We kissed in the fields
And under trees
Screaming like dogs,
Bleeding dark into leaves.

It was empty on the edge of town
But we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river.
So we walk through the waste
where the road curved into the sea.
And the shattered seasons lay
and the bitter smell of Burning was on you like a disease
In our cancer of passion you said
"Death is a midnight runner."

the sky came crashing down
like the news of an intimate suicide
we picked up the shards
and formed them into shapes of stars
that wore like an antique wedding dress
The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn
as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop.


the few insects skittered away
in hopes of a better pastime
i kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked
if you would accompany me in a quick fall
but you made me realize
that my ticket wasn't good for two...
i rode alone


You said the cinders are falling like snow.
there is poetry in despair
And we sang with unrivaled beauty.
bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.
Of blue and grey.
Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in
the flesh of the city.

The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon
and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines.
Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched
into the earth like a message.
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Monday, September 4, 2006

Calling tears from deep inside, oh, you're so exquisite
No school today. No getting up early, or anything. Exciting.

I'm feeling...apathetic. I don't know. I'm just not really feeling any specific emotion at the moment. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I don't know.

A few days ago, I went to a few antiques/home decorations stores with my mom and my sister. I got a picture of the Eiffle Tower. It's black and white, and I like it. I'm planning on putting it in my new room, whenever I get around to moving in. It's my sister's old room, which is empty since she moved out.

I want to go to Paris so badly. It's on my top ten list of things that I want to do (whenever I get around to making a list, that it). I don't want to do what my sister did: get married at 19. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, she's really happy. I'm not saying that's a bad way of life. I'm just saying that I want to get out and explore the world. I've lived in small towns all of my life; I want to see bigger things. After I've seen some of the world, I want to settle down and have a family.

Anyone else have any fears? Snakes, spiders, or even small spaces? I'm terrified of deep water. I mean, like really deep water that you can't see the bottom of. It scares the heck out of me. That might come from my slightly irrational fear of sharks, however. Also, I'm scared of the fact that I could look down and see something coming up from the deep blue oblivion. Gives me chills. I can't go swimming in deep water, I just can't.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I might should go now, I suppose. I'm going to shower, and then go to bed. Sweet dreams.

i search for a meaning.

and i cant help but drift along
into disfigured constellations.
somewhat like in my dreams.
where i fall from nothing into
words that i miscarried.

into hearts that cadence with no
music. and im just a broken note
lost inside a symphony. with no
one’s fingers on the guitar strings.

i cant be played something with
indicative happiness.

i want to shoot the stars with
letters. write my name against
their fire. so something related
to me can burn magically. and
i want to learn of beauty without
breaking the mirror.

but i cant help it.
whenever i want to cry.
somehow, i always find a way to
smile something imitative.
but i never feel it stretching
across my lips.

because i long to be kissed by god.

i dream of lullabies sung by mute
strangers, listened to by deaf
children dying. and im blind to
my own pain as i lift my hands
to pray.

pray for the things ill never
need. things ill never get.
hoping an angel can interpret
my fake laughter into distress.

i swear i can dance.
i just haven’t found the
right footsteps to lead me, yet.

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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Hey peeps. It's late, and I'm tired. I figured I'd update before going to bed.

I took my first test yesterday in World History. Lots of writing. I was on a roll, baby. I got done first. I LOVE to write, it's fantastic. Also, my teacher really teaches us, and he keeps us interested. I love all of my classes, except Algebra II, which is to be expected. I mean, come on! It's math!

I made an account on gaia. I'm going to actually keep up with this one (it's like neopets. I make one, then forget about it and the password, and I never get back on). My name on there is Johanna Phoenix. I LOVE the name Johanna. It's my new name in German II. XD So if anyone else has a gaia account, feel free to message me. Also, I think my avatar is hot. I originally created one with long hair, but she bored me. Now she's got short pink hair. Also love the clothes. It looks like something I would wear. It's on my profile, at the top.

ugh. I'm sleepy. Sorry this is so short, I'm going to bed soon. gnit.
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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Wooh. I'm tired. This week has been incredibly looooooong. I've been coming home and taking naps everyday. -_-

School is pretty awesome, I have to say. Doing work sucks, and getting up early sucks. My teachers are cool though. My World History teacher ROCKS XD. He's so awesome. We were talking about Hammurabi, who was an emperor of Babylon, I believe...Anywho, he's most famous for making the Hammurabi Code. It had all of these laws like, "If you build a house and it collapses and kills the owner, you will be put to death." Hm. Well, we were supposed to get into groups and come up with masochistic rules like that for at t-high. I came up with some good ones. Examples: If you forget your id, you will be hung by your laniard (the string that the id hangs on), and If you cheat on a test, you will be tar-and-feathered. It was so much fun ^_^

I could go on and on about school, but I'm not going to do that. I'm sleepy anyways, so...yeah. Real quick one though.

Orchestra: Pretty much the same as last year. Some of the people in the orchestra below mine got moved up to mine, so that's pretty cool. Still boring though
ROTC: Pretty cool I suppose. I've been trying to get into Choir all week, but I haven't heard anything about that.
Algebra II: What can you expect from a math class. I HATE math. It's the evil above all evils (it's the brain child of Satan!!! I swear!!)
German II: SO much fun. I have B Lunch, which is the middle lunch. I have half of my german class, then go to lunch, and then go to the other half of german.
English II: I love this class. The teacher is awesome, and she makes us think.
World History: like I said before, I have the greatest teacher. Any other teacher could have made the boring stuff about Mesopotamia and made it even more boring. He makes it interesting. He has the funniest sense of humor, he makes everyone crack up every twenty seconds.
Chemistry: A fantastic way to end the day. Only 11 people, and it's so quiet. I love it ^_^

Only thing I REALLY don't like is the whole bus situation. The school districts are getting screwed over and they can't afford all of the buses they had last year. The people on my old bus all got split up and put on different buses. The bus I'm on now is SO full, pretty much every seat is jam packed. Most mornings we even have to put three to some seats (I had to sit in a seat of three with my ex boyfriend yesterday morning. THAT sucked). Also, my bus takes FOREVER to get to school in the afternoons. We're all waiting outside for half an hour in the HEAT. It was 102 FRIKIN DEGREES OUTSIDE today, and I was waiting out for HALF AN HOUR. I didn't get home until 5. *dies*

Heh, I've got a Neopets account, so I probably won't be spending as much time on here. My name is lilith_of_bucharest, so if anyone is on there, feel free to message me or whatever. Mostly I'm just making money and playing with my neopets. I only made it a few days ago, so I'm not doin much yet, but it'll be fan-bloody-tastic when I'm done with it.

Well I'm really tired, and I don't want to waste any more of y'all's time. gnit
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