Saturday, February 23, 2008

Making a new post
Because i hate the last one.


it's 1:06AM.

I have to be up in approximately four hours
to be at my school at 6 for German competition.

I will be there all morning, and then I'm getting a carpool back early with other choir kids for the Choir Solo and Ensemble contest.




Boooo.

My head is aching in anticipation for the lo-ho-ho-hong day ahead of me.


But on the plus side, I've been charging my ipod for a really really long time, so I'll be good on the bus ride to wherever we're going.



*thumbs sideways*



Life may be looking up. Not sure at the moment. I'll let you know.
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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Star Mile.
And all the gold dust in her eyes won't reform into a ring
You had and lost the one thing
You kept in a safe place
Remember the face
Of the girl who had made you her own
And how you left her alone






Everything is going to shitpoop.
How do I fix this?

I've mostly been listening to my ipod nonstop, burying my nose in books, and writing in my journal. and avoiding most human contact.

Ugh.
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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Nothing Better.
Will someone please call a surgeon

Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart

That you're deserting for better company

I can't accept that it's over...

And I will block the door like a goalie tending the nets

In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry...



So just say how to make it right

And I swear I'll do my best to comply.



Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better

Than making you my bridebeau and slowly growing old together?



i feel i must interject here...

you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself here

with these revisions and gaps in history

so let me help you remember

i've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.

i've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave...

So Please Back Away And Let Me Go.



I can't my darling, I love you so...

But oh, oh...



Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better

Than making you my bridebeau and slowly growing old together?



don't you feed me lies about some idealistic future.

your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures.



I know that I have made mistakes and I swear

I'll never wrong you again.



you've got allure i can't deny

but you've had your chance so say goodbye

say goodbye...








Nothing better at all.
I want to curl up in a ball under my covers
and stay there forever.
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Saturday, February 16, 2008

so apparently
he doesn't really have a new girlfriend.


it still doesn't change the fact that he doesn't love me anymore
and i'm still in love with him.
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Friday, February 15, 2008

can't believe it.
can't fucking believe it.



we went out for nine months.
nine fucking months.



he dumps me a week before valentines day.



today i found out he's got a new girlfriend.



did i mean anything to him?
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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

my boyfriend broke up with me
I don't know what to do.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

home sick today.
i went to take a nap at 6:30 last night and woke up at 10:30. i guess i was planning on someone waking me up? lol anyways since i slept for a really super long time, i didn't get much sleep during the early morning hours. i literally laid there for about four hours. at 3:30 i threw up and never went back to sleep. at 7 my mom came in and took my temperature. it was 102.9. yeah. didn't go to school today.

i hate being sick x.x
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Monday, January 28, 2008

i'm sick
very much so

=[
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Sunday, January 27, 2008

Taking notes?
Bold the things that apply to you.

1. I'm a rather inventive cutter.
2. I only have one grandfather.
3. I am not colorblind.
4. I hate to wear real shoes vs. flip flops.
5. I have seen snow before.
6. I occasionally drink alcohol.
7. I am not a smoker.
8. I am a virgin.
9. I hate trashy romance novels.
10. I have four piercings.
11. I hate kebabs.
12. I think Pepsi tastes like chlorinated water.
13. I love water.
14. Some music makes me sad.
15. I prefer showers to baths.
16. I have three homemade tattoos.
17. I hate wearing bras.
18. I'm getting a breast reduction for a grad present.
19. I like getting things in the mail.
20. I'm a big fan of theatre.
21. I am easily irritated.
22. My cousins are like sisters to me.
23. My favorite actor is Joaquin Phoenix.
24. My favorite actress is Angelina Jolie.
25. I am single.
26. I go crazy if I try to fall asleep with socks on.
27. I love riding the subway; the creepier the people, the better.
28. My cell phone battery is covered in black nail polish and still works.
29. I can't stand golf.
30. I like funny and spontaneous guys.
31. When I'm in love I like to let everyone know.
32. I procrastinate. A LOT.
33. I can kind of play piano.
34. I'm NOT in orchestra.
35. I love sleeping!
36. I listen to almost all music.
37. I love candle-light.
38. I try to be a good listener.
39. I only like girls.
40. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing.
41. I love independent movies, especially if they star Clea DuVall or Parker Posey.
42. I have four dwarf hamsters that nibble my cuts.
43. I still don't have my license, because I can't afford the insurance.
44. I cannot freestyle rap worth a damn.
45. I think stereotypes are stupid.
46. I have zero turtles.
47. I hate anything on Nickelodeon... except Nick at Nite.
48. I love playing The Sims.
49. I am inlove.
50. I'm unemployed.
51. I do not eat animals.
52. I'm in a constant sleep-deprived stupor.
53. I can find lesbian subtext in any movie or book you show me.
54. I have never had stitches.
55. I will only shop for clothes in NYC thrift stores and markets.
56. My favorite book is The Bell Jar.
57. I took a tour of Columbia U and had to stop early, the preps were pissing me off.
58. I write poetry.
59. I dance fairly well, but no one would know.
60. I listen to mostly just female folk and jazz, but I'm somehow a huge Outkast fan.
61. I hate living in this state.
62. My nails grow fast.
63. People have to earn my trust.
64. I keep a diary (in real life).
65. I have an innie belly button.
66. I used to have a dog.
67. I hate physics.
68. I'd die without electricity.
69. I hate homework.
70. When I was six I tried to kill myself.
71. My parents are happily divorced.
72. I am always creating something.
73. I want more money.
74. I'm arachnophobic.
75. I analyze everything.
76. I looove high art.
77. I want to travel.
78. I couldn't live without my books.
79. I find I am partial to depressing music.
80. I am crazy.
81. It makes me laugh when over-confident people fail.
82. Sometimes the best part of my day is the comments on my LJ.
83. I love my journal/diary.
84. I'm stubborn in my head, but almost too easy-going "out loud".
85. I am agnostic.
86. I find that the word agnostic reminds me of egg nog.
87. I hate talking on the phone.
88. I dislike Reality TV.
89. I hate having the feeling I will fail.
90. I've never done hard drugs.
91. I need a new computer.
92. I dislike vegetables.
93. I never touch people, but I love being touched.
94. I don't worry enough.
95. On that note -- I'm on an anti-depressant and an anti-psychotic.
96. I wish the people closest to me weren't so far away!
97. I need to get laid.
98. I am manic depressive.
99. I am obsessive compulsive.
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

You made me feel bad
TalimSoul =[

So I'll post every now and then just for you.

It feels dumb, though, when I post conversation starters and nobody even comes to visit. This place has slowed down, or is it just me? Hm. I used to get a lot of comments. Hohum..


finals this week! =] today, tomorrow, and friday we get out earlyearly. today i'm taking my Orchestra, English, and Pre-calculus finals. Orchestra wont' be a problem and we've already taken the English final, but I'm very worried about pre-cal. I have to pass the exam with at least a 75 in order to pass the semester. That may sound easy, but this class is ridiculously hard. His grading strategies kill me every time. The highest grade I've ever made on one of his tests was a 75. Yeah.


So much new music for me! I got two new Shins albums, a Joshua Radin album, an Iron & Wine album, a Postal Service album, and a few Kevin Devine songs. It's pretty amazing stuff =DD


Well, Shelby's got to go to sleep now. byee
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