Thursday, August 30, 2007

   it's.not.the.way.i'm.meant.to.be. it's just the way the operation made me.
Today really really really sucked.

1st period-Physics.
2nd period-Dual Credit US History.
3rd period-Statistics.
4th period-Choir
>lunch<
5th period-Dual Credit English III
6th period-German III AP
7th period-Computer basics.

now changed to:

1st period-Orchestra
2nd period-US History dual credit
3rd period-Physics
4th period-Choir
5th period-English III dual credit
6th period-German III ap
7th period-Pre-calculus.

I had to bend over backwards to get into orchestra. I FINALLY found a math class for seventh period so that's where i jumped to. mhm.
Today sucked except for just after school. I actually started crying during sixth period.

Boo.
so the end of all things..took place last night. i finally lost the close friendship that i had been striving to get back.
faiakitsune3105-me
chkenhrtvickers-the friend.

Faiakitsune3105 (11:26:40 PM): i think you might be thinking too much
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:27:06 PM): i know. i do it all the time
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:27:08 PM): but i cant help it..
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:27:17 PM): every time i look at the clock its like HEY!!
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:27:19 PM): or a song
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:27:26 PM): i know i did this part to myself. and i cant fix it..
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:27:29 PM): so im basically screwd
Faiakitsune3105 (11:27:40 PM): it'll fade though
Faiakitsune3105 (11:27:43 PM): won't it?
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:28:00 PM): it didn't over the summer.. apparently i waited till school started to FINALLY break down..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:28:21 PM): boyo..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:28:23 PM): i wish i could help
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:29:10 PM): its cool.. dont worry about it =]
Faiakitsune3105 (11:29:31 PM): i'm not so conceited to say..that i know how you feel
Faiakitsune3105 (11:29:44 PM): but it's like..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:00 PM): even though you know you should get over it
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:05 PM): and even if you don't care about it
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:12 PM): you still think about it all the time
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:18 PM): and then it starts to consume everything
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:42 PM): and then all you can think about is that thing, whether it's good or bad
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:44 PM): v.v
Faiakitsune3105 (11:30:49 PM): *pats head*
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:31:17 PM): mhmm
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:31:44 PM): i think i can say. i knew that you where going through that... but. i THOUGHT i had dealt with it. and i had to do it on myown. so i thought its what you needed too
Faiakitsune3105 (11:34:37 PM): to deal with it on my own?
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:34:44 PM): mhmm
Faiakitsune3105 (11:35:17 PM): i don't know if i can do it alone
Faiakitsune3105 (11:35:23 PM): but just..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:35:27 PM): don't forget about me?
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:36:04 PM): i wont.. psh..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:36:24 PM): i don't ever want to
Faiakitsune3105 (11:36:30 PM): i won't ever understand
Faiakitsune3105 (11:36:35 PM): but i'll live
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:37:49 PM): yeah..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:37:58 PM): i'm sorry
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:39:50 PM): dont be.... well idk.. ive been saying that alot today..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:40:36 PM): so what is it now
Faiakitsune3105 (11:40:39 PM): we friends?
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:40:59 PM): where we not friends?
Faiakitsune3105 (11:41:04 PM): of course we were
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:41:08 PM): i thought i was just kinda being an ass
Faiakitsune3105 (11:41:12 PM): well..
Faiakitsune3105 (11:41:13 PM): yeah
Faiakitsune3105 (11:41:16 PM): sort of
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:41:52 PM): well that thing.. on the bulletin. was brutal. and bitchy. but it was meant for like 3 or 4 people.. and i couldnt' be as nice to them. so i made it mean
Faiakitsune3105 (11:42:10 PM): the most recent one?
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:42:16 PM): yeah
Faiakitsune3105 (11:42:33 PM): 3 or 4 people as in a few people and me..or 3 or 4 other people..?
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:43:11 PM): and you.
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:43:17 PM): but wha ti would have said to you wouldn' thave been as mean
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:43:19 PM): because..
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:43:36 PM): i know that its hard.. and.. im not saying "yeah move on" even though thatswhat came out..
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:43:46 PM): because. it hurt me. buti had to deal with it and move on..
ChKenHrTVickeRs (11:43:58 PM): and i just meant find some comfort. somewhere and use that as a cruch
Faiakitsune3105 (11:45:23 PM): okay


so basically he had posted a bulletin a few days ago and there was a part where he could say anything he wanted to three unnamed people. one of them was 'get over it and move on.' that was for me. mhm.

but other than that. i'm just peachy.
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