Monday, December 26, 2005

I am back!

It is so great to be back in Singapore! ^^ Thank you for all your support, prayers and thank you for believing in me. I couldn't have survived without my whole family's - especially my sister's - and also your support. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. The past seven days have been hard. But it has also been educational. I learnt Bahasa Indonesia. ^^ I understand the language a little, but sometimes, it just got too difficult to understand. I had to use synonyms. -_-; I managed to survive. Fortunately, Bahasa Indonesia isn't that different from Bahasa Melayu that I learnt in school. Lucky me! ^^; I had fun, but at the same time, I felt sad. It's hard to explain my feelings, but I'll try my best. On the first day, it was just orientation. We went to Mercy Relief's office/headquarters. It was called Posko Temasek. Posko means office. Singapore was formerly known as Temasek. So, Posko Temasek means Singapore office. ^^ We had a briefing of what the Mercy Relief officers do. They are the ones who coordinate the relief efforts. Sis Siti was the one in charge of sending the supplies donated to the victims of the tsunami in Aceh. She coordianted everything. She made sure the things reach the correct people, etc. It was a lot of hard work. Her schedule was packed, but she spared some time for us. Actually, she spared a lot of time for us. -_-; She has two other colleagues, Sis Julia and Pak Daddy. (In Indonesia, we call older men 'Pak' and women, 'Ibu'. But for Miss Siti and Julia, we call the 'Kakak' - which means sister. Kak is short for kakak, just like sis is short for sister.) Sis Siti, Sis Julia and Pak Daddy were all very friendly. We owe them a lot. ^^ We stayed at an orphanage, to maximise our learning experience. ^^; In our group, there are twenty people. Ten boys, nine girls and one teacher. Us nine girls were scared of the orphanage boys. They were too friendly. Or maybe WE were too conservative... It is part of our religion that girls and boys do not mix too intimately. But the orphanage boys came up to us (the girls) and asked, "What is your name?" and "Where did you come from?" etc. We kept our distance. I stayed as far away as possible. It felt so weird. Why did the orphanage boys come up to us, the GIRLS? If they want to know more about us, or about where we came from, why didn't they just ask the boys? It's not as if our group has only girls! That was the weird part. Why must the boys come up to the girls? But they are useful, though. They helped us carry our luggages to our dormitory. ^^ But that's just about it. Other than that, they are scary. At least, I don't feel safe with them. That's why, when we had to sleep in the orphans' dorms, I really felt uneasy. Of course, the girls are separated from the boys, but I do not feel safe without my teacher near by. I slept with the orphanage girls, in the girls' dorm. It was far from the boys' dorms, which means, I'm far away from the scary kids. That's good. But at the same time, because the boys' dorms are far away, so are our teacher and fellow male friends. I really didn't feel safe. So, on the third night, I pleaded to stay in the guest dorm, where there was no one else but our group from Singapore. On the third day, Wednesday, I cried. I didn't know why I was crying, at first. No idea at all. Somehow, I just felt sad. Maybe it was because of the orphans' sad stories, maybe it was homesickness... I didn't know. All I know is: I had to cry. I just had to. I do not know if my teacher noticed, but even if he did, he didn't say anything. I just finally figured out my problem on the fifth day. I was glad I found the reason for my sadness, but I was still sad. The thing is, the boys at the orphanage were scary. I don't feel safe with them at all. That's why, when the girls want to go anywhere, we'd do it in pairs. There was a time when the six of us were just sitting there, talking, discussing... and suddenly, we realised that the orphanage boys had surrounded us. The boys were just watching us. There was no one else there except for us, six girls, and the orphanage boys. It was scary. I do not like to be stared at. We girls were scared for our lives. I suggested calling one of our boys to shoo the orphanage boys away. To tell them to stop staring at girls: it was impolite. So in the end, we screamed one of our boys' name. We kept shouting his name until he came. When he did, we quickly told him, in English, so that no one else can understand, to shoo the orphanage boys away. He obliged. He managed to usher them away. I was so thankful to him. He is a really nice guy. He saved our lives. I am forever thankful to him. He is such a gentleman... I really can't thank him enough. He saved my life twice. I owe him. After I figured out my problem, I was less sad, but I was glad I know the reason. ^^; And to know that one of our boys' is a gentleman, a nice guy... it makes me feel a bit safer. At least, I know I can count on him. That takes away some of my worries. That's why I was a bit happier. That's why I managed to stop myself from crying in front of my teacher, the rest of our group, in front of everyone. Really, at that point of time, I didn't care any more. I didn't care if the boys see me cry. I didn't care if my teacher see me cry. As long as I cry, I didn't care. I managed to hold my tears. Somehow. I kept rubbing my eyes. Even the 'gentleman' was like, "Don't cry...". He was so sweet. The trip was emotionally draining. One moment, I'm happy. The next, I'm sad. Maybe I think too much. I always fear the worst. That's why I was emotionally unstable. Give me just one moment to think and I'll start crying. I guess I've never been away from my family for that long... -_-; I am okay now. I'm back with my family. I appreciate them more, now. I'll treasure them. I love them all. Anyway, that's all the time I have for now. I just got back yesterday, around 2240. By the time I was out of immigrations, it was 2300... By the time I got home, it was 0100 in the morning. I woke up only at 1200 today. -_-; I am still a bit tired. I'll update more tomorrow. Thanks you DragonxPuppy, chihiro7 and Nordic Angel for the Christmas cards. Thank you, everyone, for all your support! I love you! God Bless. Sorry for the long post, but I have a lot to tell. I'll continue next time. ^^; I am sorry I couldn't visit your sites. But Thank You for everything! All of you are the best! ^^ I love you!

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