Monday, September 22, 2003

the dream sequence

Last night I had what was probably one of the strangest dream-esque things I've had in a while. (Possibly barring this really intense, realistic marriage dream I had that thoroughly freaked me out, being I am relatively close to what I'd consider a marriageable age ... but that's besides the point.) Anyway, it wasn't really a dream as it had no point, plot, or whatever, but I dreamed I was browsing the web ... for ages ... and ages ... and ages.

Well, maybe not ages. But for a really, really long time. And it felt like it was a dream that lasted the entire night, although I'm sure it didn't. It also felt like I was constantly waking up, which may or may not have happened. All in all it did not add up to a good night's rest.

It sort of freaked me out. I think I may try to be on the Internet less. I didn't think I was on it excessively, but something about the dream ... just clicking through pages and pages for hours on end ... was a little spooky.
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Thursday, September 18, 2003

another day, another otaku leaving the boards.

Just browsing the OB as usual, making my way towards the Adventure Arena to attempt to breathe life into some of my favored old RPG's, when I came to this post:

This thread has just confirmed my increasing fears about the steady decline of post quality on these boards.
... the member quality has gone downhill.
Consider this the beginning of a leave of absence from OB.
... May the force be with you,
-Boba Fett.

This entry is in no way any attack or judgement of dear aforementioned Boba, in fact I don't think I've ever spoken to him on the boards, nor have I seen all that much of his posts. It's just something that's been happening a lot recently, and I can see (or ... I haven't been a member at OB for very long, so I can't see, but I can guess) why. It does sound like member quality as a whole has gone down, even with redeeming newbies bringing up the "average." And if that's been the case, it's really not a surprise otakus like Boba (who's been around since 2002) have been leaving.

Since I had a whole rant on a subject akin to this earlier (one of my first posts) (out of, you know, my seven), I don't really have much more to say on the topic of habits that annoy me on OB, or the declining post quality. What I am wondering is why people are surprised OB is on the decline, when they are jumping off the ship left and right. It seems it'd be much more conducive to an increase in post quality if good members stayed around and tried to post more often, rather than constantly going on hiatuses or leaving.

At the same time, I do understand why hiatuses are taken by older members ... If I'd been at OB since 2002, it would be getting old for me, and rather than staying around to try and spread the buttery goodness of high post quality, I'd probably leave or at least way slow down posting as well. Actually, I've slowed down posting as it is.

I don't know. What's in the future of OB? :-P

You know, I really didn't want to write any more posts like this at all, but I suppose it's too late.

I do have one final rant on this note: on the utter ludicrousness (had to resist putting that in caps) of a certain member's RPG masters club. I wish there was some way to improve RPG quality overall, but new crappy RPG's are being made literally every day (of course new non-crappy RPG's are also being made, but they seem to have a much slower rate of production). I've been thinking for a while that I want some sort of all-star RPG ... like by invite only or something ... but I'd feel a little presumptuous doing that ... So any story ideas?
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Wednesday, September 17, 2003

   uh ...

...


My inner child is ten years old!
The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost in a good book, or giggling with my best friend, I live in a world apart, one full of adventure and wonder and other stuff adults don't understand.
How Old is Your Inner Child?


Considering I'm 19 years old ... this is kind of disturbing.

... I know grownup stuff too ... [sniff]
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Monday, September 15, 2003

my take on myOtaku's purpose

At first when myOtaku came out I was like, why do I need this? (Of course I signed up for it along with the masses because ... well, just because, but I was a little skeptical about ever using it.) Anyway, like others, I have my own personal blog (though unlike others, I've never linked to it from any OB or otaku-related venue because it has a lot of personal info). So I wasn't sure of what another blog would do for me.

I've realized that this myOtaku blog has come in pretty useful for me, particularly since I've been keeping my otaku life and my "real" life so separate. For one thing, I can post otaku-related thoughts (the long rant on RPG's, etc.) on here, where if I posted them on my personal blog people would be very, very confused. (Obviously most of my friends don't go to forums, nor are they very interested in anime.) For another thing, I can now use this as a completely anonymous way to vent about the friends who might read my personal blog but will never find their way here, or even if they did, probably wouldn't realize it was me. ... Though I guess the Real Name and Birthday things might tip them off. It's still much safer.

I'm not sure, though, why I really have been keeping the "otaku" and "real" parts of my life so separate. (By "otaku" I'm just referring to my involvement on the boards, at-least-supposed future involvement with theOtaku.com, and interest in anime in general.) My friends definitely know I spend a lot of time watching anime, and my boyfriend is well aware I read in "a forum" a great deal, I guess I just think they wouldn't really understand the amount of my involvement (which really isn't that much to begin with). As for why I don't show any "otaku" people my personal website ... that I have no reason for :-P. There are pictures of me, but I'm not self-conscious or anything ...

Back to the original premise of the post ... the other nice thing about myOtaku is that sometimes people actually comment extensively. I've never taken the time to add a commenting system to my personal blog, and even if I did, I don't know how much my friends would comment because they either already know about everything I've posted, or will just say something to me when they see me. myOtaku can make a nice little sense of community from comments and guestbook entries, especially combined with OB.
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Sunday, September 14, 2003

quiz time

It's time to procrastinate. Shall we?


You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?


Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are usually content with life.
What element would you rein over? (for girls)
Definitely saw that one coming.


What's your sexual appeal?
Like everyone else whom I've seen who's taken this quiz. :P


Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli' sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're probably caught between the possibility of having a great relationship and wrecking the one you have now. You know what they say, it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
This is true. I always end up dating a friend. But it doesn't usually end up screwing much up, thankfully. Unfortunately I have not actually seen When Harry Met Sally yet ...


You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely devoted to others, especially that one person. You really can't get them out of your head, but then, you don't really want to.
What Kind of Smile are You?

That seems to be enough for now ...
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Wednesday, September 10, 2003

   the end of an era

Well, I'm no longer a Newbie on OB. Having passed the post count number of 250, I can now be considered a junior member. What a momentous occasion.

Actually, this happened a few days ago now, I don't remember when :-D.

Do I feel a jot different? Nope. I admit that for a little while, I really wanted to reach the 250 post count so I could get rid of that annoying "Newbie" above my avatar, but that phase didn't last long (and was during the long, rather boring hours of summer, as some justification for me ^__^) (I never thought I would use those symbols for a smiley face ...).

And now I kind of miss being a Newbie. I don't know why, though. Maybe it's because the next fun goal would be getting some ridiculous number of posts (5000?), and that just won't be happening anytime soon.
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Saturday, September 6, 2003

thoughts on RPG'ing

And now for a probably long-ish, really random rant on RPG's.

I'd never experienced RPG's until I got to OB. By RPG's I'm not referring to, of course, Final Fantasy or Chrono Cross or video game RPG's, because those I have experienced pretty much since I had enough hand-eye coordination to hold a controller. Instead I'm referring to ... oh, I don't know how to categorize them, but you know, the RPG's where you and a bunch of other people make up characters and basically write a story together.

Though I have really limited experience with RPG's, I really like the way they work on OB. There's a separate Recruitment forum so that you can have one thread with a detailed listing of all the characters, and one thread just with the story in it. Here's the first rant bit: I hate when people clutter up either Recruitment or story threads. Posts in Recruitment like, "So when's this going to start?!?!?!" should be OBLITERATED.

The reason RPG's really appeal to me is that it's basically community writing. It's such a great idea; you get to see how other people write, you don't have to think of the whole plotline yourself (and usually can't), it stretches your writing abilities because you have to fit in whatever you want your character to do with what everybody else is doing. Also, you get to play as a really cool character whose entire history and appearance and martial arts skill you've made up. It's akin to playing a video game, except you make up the story. I would highly recommend RPG'ing to anybody interested in writing. Any possible constructive effects to your writing style aside, it's just really fun if you like writing or making up stories or imagining you have magic powers.

There are certain traits of RP'ers that sometimes annoy me, though. Incorrect spelling or grammar is the cardinal sin. It's distracting and makes me hate reading the post. The thing I find most annoying (aside from complete incomprehensibility) is when people don't put spaces between their periods ... what's up with that?Then sentences become like this.And look really crowded and crappy.Just imagine an entire paragraph that looked.Like.This.

I also dislike when people abandon an RPG ... but I'm guilty of that myself, occasionally (including the two I started, I admit it, I'm a very bad person). So I won't go off on that :-P.

Eh, I know I had more rants, but I started thinking about something else: my own favorite RP'ers. I thought about putting a list in my sig, akin to Drix D'Zanth's intelligence club, but ... I decided not to. Much fewer people visit my myOtaku than will see my sig.

Anyway, I've really enjoyed RP'ing with SJChan Mayran, Wondershot, and Ben ... All of them seem pretty dedicated most of the time, have good ideas, put some humor into their posts as well, and just write in a style I enjoy. There are tons of others whom I like and respect, though ... The Harlequin, Raiha, James, Desbreko ... and I'm sure there are or will be others. Unfortunately there are also some RP'ers whom I have absolutely no respect for and would hate to be in an RPG with, but there's no way in hell I'm naming those people :-D. Don't worry, they're few and far between, so chances are you're probably not one of them, anonymous reader.

Sorry for all the random thoughts about RPG's. I'm pretty excited (as is everyone involved, I think) about the most recent Maverick Hunters RPG, the two predecessors of which I was too "young" to have seen/participated in. I also really enjoyed When Humans are the Enemy ... only it seems to have come to a standstill recently. Ah, such is life.

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Thursday, August 28, 2003

somewhat disillusioned

Recently I've been feeling somewhat iffy about my reasons for participating on the boards. Heh, I think a good deal of this has been going around, and I'm not immune. For me, there are a few reasons, the main one being that all the good RPG's I've been in have died after their baby steps, or have turned to storylines that I'm not really interested in. For discussion threads, it usually just feels like everything has been said, so I don't really feel like repeating something -- or alternately, the discussion isn't anything I particularly care about. I want to give up posting in the Art & Design forum because it sometimes feels like people take offense at anything that's not "9.999999/10!".

(Hm ... that was unfair, not everybody is like that. But I have tried to constructively criticize someone in the past about a certain point, and I think it's occasionally taken as an insult instead. Really, I'm not trying to insult you ... I'm trying to help you.)

It doesn't really help the disillusionment when I come across moderator/staff members' myOtakus complaining about the termite-like newbie problem (I won't put any links, they're ridiculously easy to find). Though I do understand where they're coming from, and they always make sure to clarify it with "there are exceptions", it still doesn't make <250 posters like myself feel particularly welcomed.

Along the same lines, it feels like the older members have a clique that younger members will never be able to break into. Which is not an atmosphere I relish, having thought I left that behind in high school. I won't go into it any further.

I'm still somewhat bound to at least theotaku.com, though, because much earlier in the summer Adam agreed to let me be an anime reviewer for the site, which I'm pretty excited about. I've written a few more reviews this summer, and can't wait for the review site to launch. I'd hoped that being on OB would help me connect to more of the people who'd be using theotaku.com ... I don't know whether it's really accomplished anything so far.

Though I have made a few actual friends on OB, whom I really enjoy talking to :-D.

Enough of this wishy-washy back-and-forth stuff, I'm done ranting for now. I'll be going back to school tomorrow, and so will soon have much more to do than repeated trips to the mall, watching anime, and browsing OB. Sh***y things like homework, moving in, and choosing classes, but still :-P. (Although, last night, saw Chris Rock at a comedy show in New York, very cool.)
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Wednesday, August 20, 2003

must ... use ... css ...

Mm, I've gotten around to trying to customize my myOtaku site (that sounds weird) a little more specifically. Unfortunately I can't figure out a way to use stylesheets and, I swear, I'm paralyzed without it. It's kind of a bad thing. Nah, stylesheets are the future.

Anyway, I still have no idea what to do with this site as, perhaps previously mentioned, I already have another blog on which I talk plenty about my life. Although, the fact that I watched nine Love Hina episodes today ... almost in a row ... seems more suitable for this blog than that one, so perhaps this could be useful, after all :).
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Monday, August 18, 2003

random first post

I'm in a bit of shock. Well, not really. I still have no posts, no idea what to do with this site, and have not advertised it to anybody (nor am aware of a member list as of yet), but four people have signed my guestbook. That is some weird stuff.

Just thought I'd mention that. Seriously, I will add content at some point this summer. Just give me some time. :)
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