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Wednesday, December 13, 2006
"With the Weight of the World on my Shoulders.,."
I'm am so tired of everything relating to people related to me it is not even funny.
I am here, with my grandma, doing my BEST to keep this thrown-together quilt we call a family from falling apart....
My mother is staying in a hotel with her boyfriend and is causing confusion on every front because she doesn't listen to anyone...
My oldest brother is trying to be a good father but is deeply wrapped up in animosity between other people to the point that he becomes the center of the hatred...
My sister is following my mother blindly....but even she has a sliver of a conscious...
My youngest brother is on his way to jail because he just REFUSES to do right...
And my other brother is just.....a selfish little prick who thinks everything revovles around him...just because he's different in one or 2 ways....
And I am caught in the middle of all of this.....while trying to go to college...
Everyone is pressuring me to take sides in this sensless drama, and I just cant....I dont have the energy for it: with work....and school...and personal shit....and everything else.
Its like I'm supposed to shoulder all that shit...and my shit....which I cannot do. I try....Lord KNOWS I try.....but I CAN'T.
And I just have to sit back and be crushed by it all, with no say so or anything...
I'm tired....I really am...
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