Monday, September 4, 2006

   Big surprise!
Last night there was a knock on the door, when i answered it there was Masao!!! he wrapped his arms around me and held me, we fell asleep together, on the bottom bunk. it was nice falling asleep with him adn waking up with him lying there holding me. it was like a dream. he's in the shower right now. my stupid brother Rai and his stupid friend Ty kicked me off the internet! back to last night! i'm so gald he's here. Masao adn I are moving in with Kadaj after my Nana the movie, Nana vol. 3 and Love For Nana CD get here. I'll be living with the man i love! yay! Nobu might be moving with us, yay! Zaruk is visting his aunt in China so he won't be there for awhile. Kadaj hates computers so i won't be on at all! he says when i move in with him I can't be on a computer. but i can sneak on one. heh heh. i sleep with my head resting on hsi chest, and i was curled up to him, he sleep with his arms around my waist, his head resting above mine and we were sorta, okay were sleeping as our bodies touched, they were pressed together.
Ty and Rai are making fun of me cause I'm nive to gay people and think they make good friends. they are so heartless! in my opion gay people are nicer to me than straight people!
I'll be updating later gotta go comment on sites and sign gbs.
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Sunday, September 3, 2006

   I feel horrid!
Last night Nobu stayed the night, we had so much fun, we went to bed at 2am. an hour after she went home she called me on my cell-phone crying, i rushed over to her place, she told me her step-dad left them, she came over here and i conforted her. i didn't know what to do. but other than that everything is okay.
This morning Kai had his friends: Ian and Robbie over, and all three of them were doing a dance they call "The Ass Dance" they ahd their pants down past their butts, i started screaming, i curled uip by the bed so i didn't see anything and Robbie touched me. it was not fun at all. so I finally finsihed Nana episode 13, it was cool. now i'm wacthing episode 14.
i've been kinda sad lately, Thursday while we were at Rent A Center, I asked my mom is i could wait in the car (by myself) she let me and I broke down crying in teh car, i remembered my dad, Mathew, Sushi, and Masao, i couldn't stop crying. i used a whole roll of paper towels. i don't know why i cried so hard. I knew my brothers wouldn't believe me so i recorded my crying and waht i was saying on my cellphone.
yesterday i watched music video awards, one of my favorite bands performed: Panic At The Disco, they played "I Write Sins Not Tragadies" i was gald to see it. oh and Friday i got my lip pierced! it was cool! but it does hurt. When Nobu saw it she freaked out. so i guess i'm kinda happy.
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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

   She woke me at 5AM!!!!!!!!!
My mom woke me up at five am so we could go! Well at least we got to go to the mall, i bought new pants. and a new shirt. Balck clothing, guess cause I really am a punk. Aw i'm so tired. I can't wait for Friday, i want Nobu to stay the night, cause I'm so lonely. I ahve to go around putting ODD JOBS posters so i can find a job, plus I might be babysitting for one of my eldest sister's friends. I made a new friend, he's anew kid here, he lives with his mom and little sister, his name is Shinichi Okazaki, my name is Shinichi Cross, we laughed so hard about that, then i realized who he was: my sister's Boyfriend! well she was my step sister, or half sister, don't remember but i do miss my sister. Oh yeah i gott e-mail my aunt (not my aunt Miyoko (Kadaj's mom) but my other aunt) so I'll upsdate some more later.
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Tuesday, August 29, 2006

   Today sucks!
I had to go with my mom, Jenna and Zak to a doctor's apointment, (theropy more like it) my mom took me to a store where I bought a black shirt with a tiger head on it, and a black shirt with a chinese dragon on it, and black high hills. now all i need is a pair of black hiphuggers. Damnit to hell! my mom is so yelling at me! She is in her normal bad mood. We are going to take Kai to the orthodontist tomorrow at 7:00AM in the morning, the orthodontist is in a town an hour away. I'll have to wake up at 6:00AM, I ain't a mornin person!!! Things aren't going to well, Masao must be recorvering still I haven't heard from him since he went to teh hospital. I started crying on the way home, cause i get this way at the beginning of every school year. only cause I miss Mathew.
Nobu and I want to go on vacation to Kansas I lived there for five years so she wants to see it. I hope we can, my aunt might be taking us when I can get a hold of her. or when i can e-mail her. yeah I guess I'll e-mail her though she might not eb able to check it cause she works almost all day. please comment or sign my gb.
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Sunday, August 27, 2006

   uh
hello all!
sorry haven't been posting in awhile but I've been busy. Masao almost died Friday night and it scared me to death. he lost a lot of blood so Kadaj and Zaruk donated blood to him, Zaruk called me this morning and he was kinda... he seemed high or drunk.
Nobu stayed the night Friday and he stayed up till 4am, (we ahd a lot of coca cola) we watched music videos.
yesterday i ordered Love for Nana cd, and Nana manga vol. 3, i read vol. 2 and 1 but they weren't very good.
I might be off for awhile cause i'm starting to work on designs for my cosplay outfit (I'm cosplaying as Shin) Today is Rai's birthday, i didn't remember cause we celebrated our birthday togother (his birthday was celebrated on the 11th with mine) he threw my bottle at me. I have to find pictures of cosplay outifits so i know how to make the Shin outfit, i already have the aditude down (we are so alike) besides my mom is supposed to take me clothes shopping tomorrow, so I can get my clothes. Jenna says I'm a skater punk and a punk. i cut my hand with the scisiors (i forgot how to spell them okay!?) I don't have a printer so i have to print the pics off my mom's computer (which later today will be mine) my printer broke and my uncle was supposed to fix it but he went to jail (he did nothing wrong and he still went) thankfully he gets out in December. I have to print some pictures of Shin so i can find clothes simiular to his. ugh so bored!
I'm feeling lonely. Nobu can't come over today so I'm lonely and yesterday we went on a walk but we got lost, we ended up at the elemtery school. So we then found our way back to my place.
my hand hurts from where i cut it. Kai and Rai stool the internet from me (again!)
Now I'm on again!
Friday night my x-boyfriend was staying the night! My heart was hurting really badly. Rai's friend Ty should never be allowed here again, he read my diary and he reads my personal e-mials to Nobu! now he knows all my secrets!!
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Thursday, August 24, 2006

   Wow!
I found something strange out last night, Kadaj called me adn he really needs me to move in with him so I can help him take care of his girlfriend who's pregnant, and he told me if i did his girlfriend would homeschool me. his girlfriend is really cool, her anme is Miu, she used to babysit me when i was little. now it's my turn to help her. Zaruk called this morning he's tsaying in the hospital with Masao to watch over him. Tomorrow is Friday and i hope Nobu can stay teh night.
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

   Blah blah blah
So frickin bored, Masao is still recovering. I'm so glad he's alive and well. I'm reading Nana, haven't been able to watch Nana lately. Today my mom was in teh store and left me and Kai in teh car, Kai had to use the restroom really bad, so he opened the car door but the car alarm went off adn kept going off everytime he touched something. i laughed so hard. Jenna wants me to play Nana, guess cause we love acting, that is one of my dreams to become an actress.
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

   AHHHHHHH! No school!
Kai and Rai start school tomorrow, I start whenever I can get my books. I spent my fifty dollars yesterday, I bought a manga, a Sango plushie, and Magic Knight Rayearth season one. i ahd a very horrid nightmare last night, i couldn't sleep becuase of it. Nobu should be getting outta school soon, I heard from Masao Saturaday or Sunday, he called me. he hammered a butcher knife in his left wrist. he was lying in there since teh fifteenth, and still lived. he was taken to the hopital, i don't know when he's gonna get out. Kadaj moved out here, he's living in a town maybe an hour away and I might be moving in with him. I might be going to high school with Nobu or i might be going to eight grade. i should probably go to high school sonce all my work last year was eight grade work. so yeah. Today was so upseting. I remember the first day of fourth grade, all i could remember today was Mathew.
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Saturday, August 19, 2006

   I thought my day couldn't get worse...
and I was wrong! I just got a call from Kadaj saying Masao tried to kill himslef yet again and this time did! no one knows for sure if he's dead! this is what Masao siad to Kadaj "I didn't want to call her and worry her. she is aleady upset as it is, she doesn't need me going to her wining about how my life sucks!" i don't know what to do! Nobu won't be staying the night tonight cause her mom said last night was the last night she could stay teh night at someone's house til after school starts. now with Masao gone i'm completly alone! Nobu is going to highschool instaed of being homeschooled with me and she won't have time for me! Rai is going into eight grade, Kai is in his junior year of highschool, Jenna is in fith grade, adn Zak is in fisrt grade! so i'm alone!
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   It is 9:35AM here...
My mom woke me up so early! i'm not sure if Nobu is awake or not, so I'm not gonna try and call her i don't want her to get in trouble with her parents. Rai and Kai both had friends over last night and i was left alone, i started crying becuase i miss Masao (AKA Kahja) he hasn't called in a couple days so i feel lonely. i ahven't heard from Kadaj in awhile either! i'm lonely again! again i'm watching Nana, i really miss Masao (Kahja) i don't know what to do... Nobody wants to talk to me, usually Rai and Kai always try adn get me to hang out with them but now they don't even talk to me. my heart feels like it got ripped out. I sat on my bed last night looking at my pictures of Masao and Zaruk. Zaruk is the only one who calls me anymore, but he doesn't mention Masao or Kadaj. When i try adn talk about them he just goes off the subject. my mom is having a yardsale (again) so she needed my help to watch it for a few minutes while she helped our elderly neighbor, so she woke me up at 6:45AM! i'm not a morning person.
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