Saturday, September 15, 2007

   ddjdtyd
I'm so mad right now. This is seriously a vent post, it can be ignored. I'll keep my language as clean as possible.

I hate ******* Fridays! I hate Astronomy. I hate the people, the prof., absolutely everything about it. I don't need this class, seriously. Astronomy at this school is to replace Biology. I like Biology, I like science. Yes, that sounds so dorky but it's very true. I like science. I like to see how lazy I can be in it and pull off what others are struggling to grasp. It's not my fault that science makes sense to me. So, I'm in Biology because I have to take it. I like the idea of being a geneticist, so Biology is mandatory. I just have to take Biology, Chemistry, and a few math courses. I wasn't going to take Chemistry the same semester as Biology, with Biology being five hours, but I needed four classes to get fulltime and keep my insurance. Biology, Algebra, and English. I had no choice but to take Astronomy as it was the only **** class that fit with my schedual. These people don't want to take Biology, they hate Biology. Okay, I can accept that. It's weird, but it's okay. I did a stupid exerize without looking at the book and got it right (second class). They thought that was really cool and that I was great at Astronomy. I said it was because I just learned about that in Biology. They looked all shocked and stuff. I told them that some of the stuff we were learning you could find in the Biology book and they didn't like that. I was still kind of lost at why they looked so blank and I told them I was aiming for a doctrine in genetics. It was like a freaking game of telephone was going on. So, every chance since then whenever I said I didn't get it they'd snicker. Or when I said I didn't like math, they thought that was absolutly hilarious. And last night, oh, last night was bad. I don't do my homework in this class. My grade is really lousy because of that, but we can barely see any stars here so what am I supposed to do? And I'm not waking up at four or five in the morning to watch a freaking planet come up. So, the guy next to me was all like, how are you going to make it in genetics or at any university if you can't even make it here?

I just told him I was doing it on purpose. They're all so stupid it wouldn't make a difference if I was straight with them. Okay, I have my grade lower in that class slightly on purpose, but I don't need that class. When I transfer it won't matter for anything because I'm in Biology. I'm doing **** good in it too. This class and these people are poison. All the beauty and wonder of the stars, just looking at them and believing in complete balance for a few seconds, that's all gone. I hate the ******* stars. I don't want to see anymore stupid stars. I don't care how far away the stupid things are. I don't care about how to measure it with your hand. I know what the **** things are, that's as far as I want to know.

I'm actually a lot calmer now, "Dancing in the Dark" is playing. How dare those idiots say something like that to me? This is what happens when you go to a school where a minority of the population wants to kill you. I really wish that was a joke. This area has a Union that's similar to the Mafia. People go missing, people are found dead, it's a mess. My father was brought in to talk to them. He got them liking him, well most of them. A few don't like him and it's these few who have wives that suddenly go missing and are found dead. If my last name were English this wouldn't be a problem. If it were like Greene, or Brown, or Wood, I'd be in the clear. It's not and it's bad for me. It's bad for all of us. They haven't sent cops to watch the house yet like they've done for other families. Never drop your guard, that's it. I personnaly don't have anything against Unions, unless they hate me and want to hurt me and my family. My uncle and godfather is Union. He hates me though.

I'm still pretty ticked, I better get off. But seriously, who do they think they are? You do those freaks think they are to say something like that to me? Who do those people think they are for wanting to hurt me? I dare them to try something. I dare them to say something more. they don't know what they're getting themselves into with me. I don't back down. I won't back down. I don't care if they try shooting me, I'll still stare them down. I refuse to be their message.

And incase you read this, Magnus, my parents don't think I'm suicidal anymore, but will as soon as I cry again. Like I said, they kind of care about me but they're just bad parents.

SGAH
FYWR
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Friday, September 14, 2007

hgdhgd
I'm bored and I'm going to be in class for nine hours. I think I'm going to as a bunch of really weird scenerio questions dealing with dreams. Not many people see this site so I'm pretty safe.

1. Have you ever had a dream or feeling that didn't go away?
2. Or, have you ever had a dream when you were little only to have the exact same dream years later?
3. What if you were never in your dreams but were in the reaccuring ones?
4. Now, what if the dreams you appear in some how reflected into the world?
5. If you had a similar dream the last three nights and it wasn't a good dream, what would you think? Would you chalk it up to TV or being influenced by the outside world in some way? (With me I decided it was because I stopped writing for the time being.)
6. Okay, what if after having flashes of all three versions of the similar dreams you woke up feeling sick? Would you think much of that or just dcide it was because you hated Fridays?
7. Finally, what if the dreams had to do with someone(s) being killed or nearly killed at your work, neighborhood, or school? Would you go to work or school?

I say this because humans have these brains that have a lot of untapped power. Anyone can have precognitive senses. Some of it has to do with just being intune to your surroundings. You hear phrases like 'women's intuition' and 'mother's senses', that's the same thing. I've never heard one that applied to a guy, sorry guys.

So, a few nights ago I had a dream (I'm shocked because I've got insomnia) and I was in it. I'm never in my dreams because I use them more for writing. When I'm in a dream it means I've finally gotten to sleep, at long last. So, in this dream, I was at school and I think it was a Wednsday. I was walking down the hall to get out of there and someone starts shooting. I freak out and duck, then see the guy. He comes out of a room in front of me. I take out my pocket knife and stab him in the neck as hard as I can.

Well, I woke up and decided I should start writing again because Mirror Image was obviously messing with my dreams. I close my eyes again and I'm back at school, on a Wednsday in the same spot. This time the guy's coming towards me because he hadn't yet entered the room. He pulls out his gun but he's so close that I knock his arm up and again, stab him in the neck.

I passed that off as the dream just trying to finish. So, I forget about it, do stuff for the day, and then go to sleep. It's Wendsday again, I'm in English, and I hear a shot off in the hall. He comes into the classroom and we all dive under out desks as he starts shooting. I crawl forward a little and wait for him to turn his back. As soon as he does I jump up and stab him in the neck, again.

This could be from not writing. This could be from thinking about an essay I've got to write where I'm conviced of murder. This could be from watching movies, listenting to the news (the Amish shoot anniversary and stuff), it could be a great number of things,but what if it wasn't? What if this was a signal to something more?

It just kind of freaked me out because it was always the same day, same situation, same room he was going for, and same guy. And I've never had a dream where I killed someone. I'm almost never in my dreams.

This is the only dream I'm ever going to talk about. I have this thing that if I write some down then I don't think about it anymore. It comes useful when you write by dreams. Not these kind of dreams, dreams that follow the characters in Mirror Image. So far that's the only story I've been able to do this "dream writing" with. It's weird, I don't know those characters as well as my Epic ones even though I've been working with them for five years and Epic has't even started.

Okay, if peole comment, you don't have to mention the dream or answer the questions. You can if you want, but I'm not going to cry or something if you don't. Speaking of crying, I was talking to my mother a while ago and I mentined how that one time I cried I was sent to a shrink. She said because I don't cry. I'm not supposed to. It's not me.

Let's get something straight, just so I've got it in writing. I'm a nineteen year old girl going through the pressures of recently moving and getting the stress of college. When I moved, I left my precious horse, and had to give up two of my dogs (my dogs mean a lot to me), and I had to get rid of all the barn cats, my cat I had for eleven years died right before, I left my friends, and then I'm tossed into this place that is just really weird. Fine, okay, I won't cry. But when you look at the time when I did cry, finals were coming up, VA Tech just happened, I read the Columbine letters for a paper. All of that with the previous, yeah, I cried. The reaction from my parents, 'oh my god, she's suicidal!'.

It's not fun when you get parents that kind of care about you but are just bad parents. I'm going to be late for Biology.

SGAH
FYWR
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007

9/11
We will never forget what our country went through on this day six years ago. Stay strong, hold firm, and never let it happen again.

SGAH
FYWR

Never Forget 9/11
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   blah
I'm really tired but I just can't sleep. It's almost 2:00 (and I use Military time by the way). So, yeah, my head hurts because I'm tired and staring at the screen. Well, because I'm incredubly bored due to the time, I'm going to ramble.

I had a Algebra test today. I forgot about it. It wasn't any big deal, I got more then fifty percent right. I don't know why, but I thought it was timed so I was ripping through it and then realised everyone else was just sitting there trying to work it out. I hate when that happens. I think I do better when I don't think about the problems, so it's cool.

Um, let's see, I got to say other stuff too. Um, more rambling, not to be confused with Snapdragon Rambler.

Epic people! Just because I decided to do my English on Adellenne. Well, I've got that weird whacked out thing above, so I guess I'll play connect the names.

I'm relating all these back to Ah-nee (Anastasius) since he was my very first Epic character.
Teseo von Bavol- Ah-nee's dad. He's dead so he's not in the thingy. He's a nice guy though, so I thought it was only fair to mention him.
Ratri von Bavol- Ah-nee's mom. I feel kind of bad for her, having Ah-nee as a son.
Emre von Bavol- Ah-nee's twenty five year old brother. I don't remember if he was in there. He's a nice guy too, so here he is.
Duscha von Bavol- Ah-nee's twenty three year old sister. She, how to put this nice, over threw Emre and took over their country for a few years.
Indigo von Bavol- Ah-nee's twenty one year old sister. She's generally a very nice girl, polite and such, except when another certain Epic charater is around.
Alethea von Bavol- Ah-nee's nineteen year old sister. She's nice no matter what. She's got the weirdest taste in friends though.
Ai von Bavol- Ah-nee's eigthteen year old cousin. Ai and Ah-nee were the brattiest tag-team in the whole country. Ai acts all mature now but half of it's an act.
Nayeli- Ai's sixteen year old "girlfriend". She likes him, he likes her, but that's it. She's recently orphanned and just got out of a bad situation so isn't looking for anything more then a friend.She's actually more mature then Ah-nee which amuses me for some reason.
Anastasius von Bavol- He's seventeen, a ninja, and the over-ruler (kingish) of a country. He's...very, very seventeen.
Zhek Vosyem- Koji's husband. He was possessed when he and Ah-nee first met. It took Ah-nee a while before he stopped gettng creeped out at having him around. He lives far away.
Koji (Ko) Vosyem- Ah-nee's konoichi partner. They met about three years ago. Her four year old son, Aleksei, is the only person that I know of in Epic that calls Ah-nee Ah-nee.
Ketsuenhi- Ah-nee's sensei. He's an older man who's missing an arm. He raised Koji at the Hi Dojo since she was two.
Onitane- Ah-nee's necklace.

Yup, I think that's everything. That's the von Bavol family, the Vosyem family, Nayeli, Ketsuenhi, and a fashion statement with a name. It's 2:20, time to attemp sleep.

SGAH
FYWR
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Monday, September 10, 2007

The von Bavol and Nayeli at the breakfast table.
Ai: So, Ratri, the elders said the crops were looking good this year. We'll have plenty of money-.
Anastasius: LOADED CHICKS! What about loaded chicks? Loaded chicks like Duscha! (pointing at Nayeli)
Nayeli: I'm Nayeli.
Anastasius: Zhek, what are you doing here? (looking at Ratri) Oh no, you must be after this! (holds up necklace) Well, it's mine, all mine! Koji is a loaded chick! (pointing at Alethea)
Ratri: Anastasius, sweetie, are you alright?
Anastasius: (staring at Ratri in horror) Zhek, you have a girly voice. You must be possessed again! Ai, do something! (grabs the front of Ai's robes) What are we going to do? What can we do? Ai, make him go away!
Ai: Did you sniff the floor polish again?
Anastasius: (lets go of Ai and sinks into his seat) No...of course not. I just happened to be in my room right after they cleaned it.
Duscha: Anastasius, you know that stuff causes strange visions. That's why the servants wear masks when using it.
Anastasius: (staring at Duscha with huge eyes)
Duscha: Anastasius?
Anastasius: Ketsuenhi-sensei, what happened to your voice?
Duscha: Is he that old guy that trained you? (Ai nods) Okay, that's it. (Duscha gets up)
Anastasius: (gets up and hides behind Ai) Get away you crazy old man! Ai, help, he's turned evil. (Duscha reaches for him, Anastasius runs off screaming)
Indigo: I wonder who I was?

This is a long story, but I've got to practice using my new laptop. Yeah, I'm happy. It's wireless too so I'm in the basement watching TV too. It's awesome because I was typing Mirror Image earlier and forgot a name. I just got on this thing and looked up the name I needed on my site.

Okay, so the story behind that thing above. The way I wrote Mirror Image was through strange dreams I had. Whenever I got stuck on something I'd sleep on it and dream about what would happen next in the story. I tried doing the same thing with Epic, because we haven't even started on episodes. Actually, we're going to start soon but that's not the point. So, I tried sleeping on it but the only problem is that I'm still working on Mirror Image. Mirror Image has a lot of guns, and people with guns, or it did. I'm passed that point, but the fact is all the girls in Mirror Image have guns. Then I remembered I was supposed to be working on Epic. So the image of Ah-nee just screaming "LOADED CHICKS" just appeared. And it didn't go away. So that's what started the above. In the Epic world there are no guns because it's too far back, so he's just calling any girl that can fight a loaded chick. This isn't part of Epic, it was just a really weird thing dealing with a few characters. I had something similar thinking about a question for the Who's Your Epic Guy quiz. Strange things.

SGAH
FYWR
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Friday, September 7, 2007

deyj
This computer is broken. I can't comment or PM or anything. Which is weird because I can still post messages. I'm in a foul mood, still. It probably has to do with lack of food. That's it, because I'm going to snap.

SGAH
FYWR
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Thursday, September 6, 2007

   rteht
No time to visit people. No time for messages. I wouldn't say anything worthwhile, so I'll keep my mouth shut on messages and other sites for today. I think I'll always be in a foul mood on Thurdays, because tomorrow is Friday. I hate Fridays. Those are the days I'm at class for nine hours straight. Biology, eh. Astronomy, hate. I've never wanted to drop a class so bad. Of course I can't because then I get no insurance. Oh man, I'm not even going to get started on this class because bad words will start dropping from my mouth and into the computer. Why the heck do I have to fight? I'm fighting so hard against this class, against this day, that it hurts. Seriously, my head is killing me. I'm still fighting against the family. It's so exhausting. Again, I better not get into the clan issue or I'll type out bad things and start on freedom. I better just get off. I'm not going to be able to find something to say in this mood.

SGAH
FYWR
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Wednesday, September 5, 2007

   ywywy
So bored. I'm supposed to talk about stories and characters when I'm bored, but at this very second I can't do it. Maybe a little later. So, I had my third English today and fifth Algebra. I pretty much fell asleep in Algebra, for the second time. I know all this stuff already. It doesn't get any better the second time. I spent the whole class sketching names. My handwriting is really bad so I have to draw out the letters to make them pretty. I did 'Snapdragon Rambler: Welcome to the Iron Gate', 'Nymph', 'Bella', and an alchemy array durning the tird class. We had a quiz fouth class, which I fell asleep for the last three questions. I shoot for seventies so I did great. Today I sketched out 'Dice Rebels', 'Innit Llewellyn', and 'Magpie Foxcroft-Saentes'. That last surname is one of my favorites, if not my favorite. Yup, that's the highlight of Algebra, sketching out names.
English is the creative writing class. We had to write in-class. I can't do longhand. I can't form letters that you can read, I can't spell, and nothing seems to make sense. It hurts too because of my shotty wrist, fingers, hand, arm, elbow. When you type ten pages everyday, it'll hurt. I'm almost finished with Mirror Image though. It'll be worth it. Then I can focus ninety percent of my attention on Epic, instead of the forty. We're actually going to be doing a character exercise and I'll probably do a character from Epic. I can't make up a new character without it turning into a full blown story. I don't have time for another story. I've still got other characters floating around, like Dice, but when that forms a story it'll be something not for class. If I did the exercise with Mica Masters, well, I'd probably get kicked out of the class. I don't remember what I'm talking about so that's it.

SGAH
FYWR
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Monday, September 3, 2007

200
Two hundred hits. ...Yeah, that's all.

SGAH
FYWR
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Friday, August 31, 2007

   efagf
I'm tired but insomnia makes be not sleep. So, my head hurts. I haven't had the chance to get on. School is soo bad. I just got back from my nine hour block. Where I live right now we've got a lot of light polution, so I just stood outside for half and hour staring at "stars". We were on a train track, and this area always has trains going. I just couldn't believe how bright that was. 'Let's look at stars that aren't there and do it standing on train tracks that are in working order and have a train on them three times a day.' Am I just incredubly stupid? Was thinking that was a bad idea dumb? Huh, I think I'm retarded. This lousy town talks about people getting hit by trains or cars a lot. Well, DUH!
Okay, enough of that. I'll lay off the town until the next time we hold class on working tracks. Oh man, Biology was awful. It wasn't so much because I missed the first class and had no idea what anyone was talking about, but more because I was writing before class and I'm at a bad part. I know the hugest events in the Mirror Image world, and one of them was this character dying. I always really liked him but I always knew he'd die so I'd even joke about it and stuff. I wrote half of his death before going to class and was doing that thing were my eyes leak salty water. Then I ran off from school for a quick half hour to finish writing it before Astronomy, and cried more. I don't cry. I mean, seriously, my best friend has never seen me cry and she's known me for like eight years or something. I twisted, probably broke, my ankle once, didn't cry. I broke my ribs, didn't cry. I lost two grandparents in the same year, didn't cry. I smash a truck into this fictional character car and get all teary eyes. I hated the vuneralbility he was in. I almost cried when I pushed this other character to his breaking point. This guy always was the appointed tough guy, bad guy, rough around the edges guy. I got him flipping out and just howling in misery. That was hard. This is the darkest day in the story. Before this it's fairly happy. It's got a few darker twists, but everyone's pretty much okay. And after this, they hit two little bumps and then it's smooth sailing for the rest of their lives.
I think I talk too much about the Mirror Image saga. I'm supposed to be venting and stuff, but I don't feel like it right now. Anyway, I know there are younger people on this site and when I vent, well, I get very foul mouthed. And even if I keep the language clean, I get angry on this whole other level that you can just feel through the computer. It's nasty, so I bottle it all up inside and wait for one of my Mirror Image guys to flip. I don't do this with Epic. Epic's just so awesome on this different plane.
Oh, ew, I shouldn't of eaten two pounds of chicken that fast. Especially when I didn't get the chance to eat before. I'm going to have to curl into a ball and not move when I'm done with this.
Uh, let's see. About me and not my creepy story or the TV show. Oh, my mum is in Maine right now. My oldst cousin is getting married, or just got married an hour ago or something. This means responcibility on top of insomnia. No sleep, no snoozing, taking care of the family. I don't cook or clean. Haha, it's weird, when I get full reign of the house things work better. This is why I am who I am. It's probably why they won't let me move out. I better stay away from that or I'll start clan bashing. So, when both of my parents are "in charge" things are bad. The house is a mess. My sister is usually nowhere to be found and no one knows where she is. My brother is disobediant and swears at everyone. We don't ever have food. Take my dad away, things are quieter, cleaner, but not much different. Take my mum away, things are quieter, cleaner, my brother doesn't swear too much, and my sister is found easier. Take both of them away, bliss. Why? Me. It's a very simple answer. Even when both parents are in the house, when all the fighting gets too much (not real fighting half the time. That's just how we talk to each other) they yell for me and things are better. It's creepy. Oh, and I'm saying mum and not mom because she's with what's left of her family. They have accents and usually when i'm around them I'll say mum and not mom. Just like around my living grandfather I speak differently. I don't know what the accent is. In Florida it's more Slavic sounding then when he's north. I'm not sure why. It's horrible when i'm in Philly for awhile and then leave. That accent takes longer then any for me to lose. That was my original accent. I have none now but adapt. Aunt Debbie (Dad's side)is "ant". Aunt Janet (Mom's side) is "aont jgenet".

SGAH
FYWR
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