Sunday, March 22, 2009

   udtyjstkry
Question mark mood= bored, slightly freaked, really excited, stupid fingers hurt.

Thanks Dranz, Kelsey, and Talim for the comments. Yes, a really freaky experiance indeed. My friends literally cheered when I told them I was fine. Ah, business partners. Where would I be without those guys keeping me in line? Jail probably, haha.

Well, look at this. I'm posting so soon. With the business last week I forgot I had a meeting for Australia today, so today was going to be my original post but yeah, other things happened too. Jeez, things are more 3-D in life.

Almost all my Australia stuff is already done. I'm so excited. They showed us pictures and it's sooo pretty. And best thing is we have an option of flying or staying in Australia for an extra week as vacation. Completely free! The hot spot is New Zealand but I have other options. So, where I want to go for my vacation is *drumroll* Tahiti! I saw a picture of the black beaches as a kid and knew I had to see them someday. So, that's first pick. I need to talk my roomate or cabin mates into coming with me. What fun would it be by myself? But the island, New Zealand, and Fiji are the other options so I'm not complaining if I get over ruled. I just got to get my Chem grade up and I'll be all set. I should actually be doing my homework for that right now but I'm getting pretty tired. I'll do it tomorrow so that I can remember everything better.

Other news, Mirror Image seems to be doing well. It's killing my fingers and I would much rather work on Epic but hey, recognition is recognition. And all recognition helps Epic. Epic doesnt have messed up little teenage boys packing iron but you get the idea. Oh man, I really miss Epic. I need to work on that. I'm going through withdrawls.

Okay, I think that's it. Australia for three months and hopefully Tahiti for a week (part of Mirror Image was set in Tahiti). People on dA seem to like the story. And my comment box is still acting funny. And sometimes entire galleries are blank. O~o I'll try later in the week. Or next weekend.

...I need a new digital camera. The last one was murdered on its way to California.
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Saturday, March 21, 2009

   ooiolfhk
Thanks for the comments Talim and Dranz. I'm glad you liked my little snippet. It got a favorite on dA and big thumbs up in the writing group. So now I have to re-write the entire big story. -faints- It won't take five years this time...hopefully.

Well well, I haven't been here for a while. Spring Break ended so I had to go back to school. Quizzes coming up...in Chem. And I need an 'A'. ARGH, pressure!

No, school was only one reason I wasn't around. A second is my comment box is broken over on the main site. Yeah, I can't comment or reply and a lot of the times I can't even view people's works. So I just wasn't going on. And with all the re-writes I've been on dA more since I post chapters there and not here.

Big reason I was staying away came Monday. It was my first day back to classes but first I had a dentist appointment. Since I was out in California I missed the one where they'd update my x-rays. So I got those updated and then got my teeth cleaned. The dentist looked at my new x-rays and, well short version, they thought I had bone cancer. Yeah...so, early Monday morning I was basically told I potentially had bone cancer. I got an appointment with a specialist but that wasn't until Friday. So the enitre week I had to wait to see if I really had cancer.

I don't know how to describe what it was like. I'm rational and honestly not afraid of death. I would really really really like to not die, but everyone does and I know that. I still chase immortality but yeah, this is off topic.

Monday was easily not fun. First day back and I get this news. Of course I don't say anything to anyone. My mom knew and told my siblings and dad, which I wished she didn't. So, home was very tense.

Teusday was not fun. No one really said anything about it at home but they looked at me different. I called my friend and she asked what was up and I told her I couldn't tell her. She asked if I was dying, because we joke like that, and I told her I didn't know yet. I hung up shortly after without telling her more.

Wensday started off really lame. I was wondering how this would effect everything if the verdict was bad. Then around noon I just said 'this is stupid, I'm fine'. So the rest of the day I was sort of edgy because I was so sure I was fine but part of me wondered if this was the denile stage.

Thurdsay I told my friends what was going on because I was so sure everyone was wrong. I did not survive to become a bone cancer patient. My life wasn't incredubly hard, but it was nowhere near easy. I had close saves regarding my life. I didn't go through that for nothing. And that's why I was positive I was fine.

Friday I was preoccupied. I was nervous when I woke up but I quickly nullified that with my brilliant plan to make an entrance in Bio lab since I was going to be late. That plan failed but it's all written on my Fas et Nefas WORLD if you're curious. Don't be. But, yes, I went to the specialist and the verdict...no cancer.

The tech who did my x-ray tilted me weird so the bright spot they thought was cancer was really my hyoid bone. It overflapped in the film so looked like an unnatural bright spot.

68$ to tell me I'm fine. So be it.
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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

   oifts
Question mark mood= hungry, tiredish, fingers hurty, ...I might be sick again.

Thanks for the comments Kelsey, Talim, and Werner. Wow, Werner, it's been forever! Because my last post was a while back I'm not going to do direct responces if that's alright.

SPRING BREAK! How uneventful this time is. I sleep, that's my break. I enjoy it greatly. I keep planning on doing my research for Bio and stuff but haven't yet. I've been re-writing Mirror Image in a style that is actually more book format then dialogue format. I tested this format out and got great reviews. I'll test it a little more before I set on it. -sigh- I do hate writing. It hurts my fingers. I perfer it to drawing. I really don;t like drawing.
Test!
But, there you go if you want to take a look. It's really short, barely over a page on a 1.15 Word document with 1" margins. I have to edit it to show more detail regarding the room the scene is in, so this is an uneditted version. Personally, because I'm a dialogue writer, I like my stuff dialogue heavy and scenery light. That probably comes from my bad eyes. Scenery means squat when you can't really see it.

Um, what else? I went to a doctors' office today. It was just to get forms to fill out so I can make an appointment for later. I need my medical signed off on the Australia thing...still. Man, I'm so lazy. Hopefully I'll go later this week and get it over with. I'm getting a shot because I'm long overdue for one. The clinic ran out and I ever bothered going back. Shot scheduals sort of make me feel like a dog.

Oh, my bestfriend is going to Brazil for 18mos. She leaves in June. She's doing missionary work so I'm not allowed to talk to her until she gets back. But when she does get back we'll both have southern hemisphere stories. I'll bring back koalas and she'll bring back a maned wolf. I love those. wolves, African wild dogs, and maned wolves are why I'm going into wildlife biology.

On an Epic front, we haven't done work. -_- It's not easy with one leaving for Brazil, three in college, one in high school, and living 700miles away. I'm learning all sorts of very interesting facts about Buddah and Shinto that'll help our development of one of out countries. Possibly more. So, we didn't drop it. We're studying for it independantly of each other. Most of what we have was obtained that way. Seriously, you don't think I'm just going to Australia for the wildlife? Topography and cultures are needed to make Epic function.

Alright, well, my throat is starting to really bother me. I was fine yesterday so I'm wondering if it's this nasty scent thing my sister put down here. I'll throw it out and see.
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Saturday, February 28, 2009

   kfgzew
Question mark mood= starving, little tired, bored, dread.

The dread comes from how badly I know I did on my practical. I should've studied. And I did bad on my Chem quiz. I got a 'B' on the Relst test and I'm hoping for a 'B' on the History exam. If I get a 'B' on that it'll almost be worth flunking the two Science things. I know I couldn't of possibly gotten an 'A'. Not when 40% was an essay on the religious implications in Song of Roland. It was holy battles, I didn't know how to make it more clear than that. It was so striaght forward.

Ooh, and in Biology lab we're starting a group research experiment. Normally I'd be super psyched, but my partners don't like the class. And this is an area where I'm ambitious, not that you could tell from my practical grade, so I want to do big things like minor gene manipulation of guppies or predicting gosling gender before hatching. So, yeah, I have no idea what we're going to do. It has to be really simple.

My practical was horrible because I didn't study. To make it worse my mechanical pencil broke the second I tried using it. I used it in Chem just before and it worked fine. I put more lead in it to be prepared for the practical. I push down and all the lead comes out. And then it doesn't even make that clicking noise that the pencils do. It just broke. So I wrote the who practical with a piece of lead. Horrible.

Here's an article about the connection between doodling and memory: click

That's why you artist people are so good at school. :D

And I said I'd talk about my stalker. So, I guess I will. All I'm doing is procrastinating doing a quiz, studying for an exam, and doing research.

I was in 7th grade, it was very close to the start of the year. My friend, Kelly, had this boyfriend. So the first time I met Devin it was just a quick passing in the hall. Kelly just said that his name was Devin. I said hi, and that was it. He was a class ahead so I saw him maybe once or twice the rest of the year. I never really noticed him because I would talk to Kelly. He was just sort of there. I guess he noticed me though. Halfway through my eigth grade year I see Kelly in the lunch room. Something's different. I was pointed out by another friend that Devin wasn't with her. I sort of shrug it off. People break up all the time. I was slightly surprised since they had been dating a year and a half, but still didn't think much of it. I actually thought she dumped him. I was wrong. Kelly told me that Devin dumped her so he could ask me out. I was more than a little surprised. I had seriously only spoken to him that one time over a year ago.

I felt pretty bad. I didn't know if Kelly was mad at me for this. I assumed she was at least a little. That's human nature. She never acted on it and soon got a new boyfriend. Last time I checked they were still together. They might be married now actually. But anyway, back to the stalker.

So, Devin never asked me out. I was really glad about that because I would've rejected him big time and I wasn't sure how that would've gone over with my friends. Either I was too good for him, so too good for them in a way, or I was a good friend not to date my friend's ex. Junior high is needlessly complex.

He didn't ask, but he was always around. Soon I started noticing him following me around the school, always trying not to be seen. He'd be staring me down as I talked to the boy I liked all through junior high. When I didn't find him following me, I would find his friends following me. If I wasn't me I could've ended up being girl number two to be raped and killed in the school woods.

But I am me. Here's a hint, you don't play games with Regnavi. He wanted to play the psycho game, I could play the psycho game.

I dropped out/kicked out of school in October of ninth grade. Before that happened I ended up being placed in the same art class as one of my stalker's friends. It didn't take long for me to turn him to my side. He was a karate boy so I used our relation of fighting to win him over. In other words, he wanted to test my nerve. When the teacher stepped out he went to hit me. I didn't flinch and stared back at him. He thought that was awesome, and creepy (my eyes are piercing). He spread that to the rest of his friends and suddenly they all realised it wasn't funny what Devin was doing. They still followed me, but now they wouldn't try hiding. I would come out of the girls' bathroom and at least one of them would be waiting outside for me. They'd say sorry and walk with me to class talking about how creepy this was now that they knew me.

In October I started having disagreements with the faculty. I knew it was only a matter of time before I was no longer attending school. I needed to get Devin off my back for good before then. And my oppertunity came. Devin had looked up my phone number earlier. He called but always hung up before anyone answered. I guess he saw my williness to be friends with his friends as a weakness. He called, the phone was handed to me, and I played games. No one sounds exactly like themselves on the phone. Machines do that. I guess in his state my stalker forgot that. He said I didn't sound like myself. I told him because I wasn't. There were three of us. One when to school up north a little. She worked for the CIA. One went to boarding school in Maine. That was who he was talking to. The girl he was obsessed with switched places the other day when I came home for the weekend. I was going to switch with my CIA sister. Be careful, she's a sniper and good at it. She likes to wear black so you'll know it's her and not me or my sister that you like so much. Oh, and she's protective of us both.

The next day I went to school wearing black and wearing a lacy black cape. No one thought twice about this since it was October. People all over were starting to test pieces of their costume. Devin didn't realise this. He really believed it was another me, a killer me. It scared him so bad that he immediately stopped all stalking actions. His friends thought it was brilliant. My friends, well, I didn't tell them what was going on the last few months. I didn't want to worry them. They found out that day. Kelly felt really bad for letting him near me. He was crazy, she didn't know. A couple days later I was out of school for good.

And that's my stalker story. Just be crazier than them and they leave you alone.
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Thursday, February 26, 2009

   kuuy
Question mark mood= actually I'm kind of mad and sad but not enough to really affect me. -shrug- Weird.

Thank you Talim and Kelsey for the comments. Added Cliffs of Dover to my playlist. By far my favorite Eric Johnson piece ever.
Kelsey: I know! Stupid Crosby was one of the damaging factors last season. Ugh, I want to strangle him! (I'm so late with this reply.)

Oh yes, and I put Caleb's theme song as second on my list. You have no idea how important it is I find songs to fit characters. When your eyes suck you gear towards sound. And Caleb was so hard. Hours of hours listening to classic rock and I couldn't find his sound/song. Then I played this for my "break". Ta-da! Caleb was too young to set to classic rock. That was his problem.

...[Everyone's like...WTF is she talking about.]...

Ignore it! I'm Epic deprived and I shouldn't be. The only character I think about is Keoki and he's a dog. He is an actual character though. I've recently come to see him more that way and not as an extention of Caleb.


Keoki as a puppy.
Referance, which looks more like him than the drawing.

First picture of Keoki (he's the blob in the corner).
Detail about Keoki's evolution from blob to above puppy.

Shameless advertizing. Hey, I am in charge of PR for The Unsaid Works, at least mostly in charge and right now. I love my dogs, can you tell?

Okay, last time I said I'd talk about my stalker. Eh, maybe. I might save that for next post. I want to talk about the whole reason behind the sad but not enough to affect my personality/mood thing. That's what this is for, venting. Stalker thing at the end if I have time/room.

Okay, it should come as no surprise what-so-ever to anyone who reads this that I am a Scientist and have been my whole life. [Check the archieve is you dare. It's detailed research on geese and that was before I decided to major in Wildlife Biology. Or halfway. I kept changing my major.] Here's a univeral fact about Scientists. We observe. Big fat duh, that's step one in the Scientifict Method. Scientists, not Social Scientists, but Science Scientists are not very good at socializing. At least not the really good ones who get PhDs fairly young and have things published or get a nomination for the Noble Prize. So, that's sad. I mean, it's good. It's great because Scientists who make the major break throughs can only do that because they're researching and not partying.

Alright, so my major was Genetics. I was 16-18. I hit 19 and lost it. I did not want to spend my life in a lab saving people/animals. I wanted to meet people. I wanted to have fun. So, I threw out my major, completely, and I ran off to California. I very quickly discovered I was not happy at these parties. I had the most fun driving home random drunks because then I could drag race in someone else's car. And drunks scream loud but don't remember what you did in the morning. The turning point from starlet/director back to Scientist came suddenly. I was walking with these two guys. I was getting ready to go to a shoot I was modeling in. I was very popular because I was a minority. I don't mean ethnic wise. Example: my class was roughly twenty people. There were two girls in the entire class, me and some girl. Two people in the entire class liked boys, me and some boy. -See, minority. So I'm getting ready for a shoot and the two guys I'm with are talking about slide projectors. Film students shoot still frames on slide film so they were talking about getting projects so they could look at their projects before-hand. I'm half listening, bored out of my mind. Suddenly, a ground squirrel runs by. I perk right up. And then immediately following came that feeling where you just say "Shit." I quit film school (with excellent marks I might add) at the end of term and started my major in WildLife Biology.

Holy, it's 100, no 1000 times harder. I have a quiz or exam pretty much every week. But know what, I'm actually happier. Sure, no parties. No socializing. No sleepless weeks while people freak out about your hair (straight guys too). No hot British guy you know you would've been dating in a month or two. ...That was my biggest regret. I had him! I had him right there and I ran off. He was such a jerk to all girls but me. He actually had respect for me and was blown away at the same time. -sigh- I am the fiery wind. I can't stay put. It would've been weird anyway. We have the same name, we're the same height, we have the same hair and eye color, and we're the same age.

So, what the heck brought all this on? My professor for Biology. I'm a Scientist, but I'm learning the process still. My Biology professor is a PhD. So right now he is the closest I have to a mentor. I have an actual mentor how is a PhD in my field of Biology...but I forgot his name so I haven't met him. So until then it's my instructor. I have a certain respect for him because he has what I want. I want my PhD. And the feeling is mutual. Which is completely mind-blowing to me. I was the first student who he knew on sight and by name even though I never speak to him. He pays attention to my general seating area. People move around, it's a lecture hall. But he noticed when I did it.

And you guys are like..."so?"

You'd have had to been there from the start of semester. This guy doesn't pay any attention to humans. His area is parasites. I take it as him seeing promise in me. My Biology lab instructer seems to be the same way. It's nice to know the people ahead of you in the field see something in you. Not that my film teacher didn't. He was a screenwriter professionally. He loved my writings. I hated them. I threw them away when I made my choice. And I perfer my choice.

I do find it sad that I'll never really be able to do the stupid things that brings people together. I won't really ever connect with someone. That's kind of sad. I'd end up having to marry another Scientist because they would have the same behavior so know the whole thing and stuff. ...But that's not my type. What I want to do is break out of the mold. Scientists should be able to bag a rocker and cure cancer. So, that's what I'll do. Not cure cancer, I'm not going into that field. But flings with rockers, engagements to extreme sportsmen, marriages to football stars, all while playing with baby wolves/tigers/ect. That would be awesome. Mix starlet and Scientist.

Okay, so, that's my ramble. I zoned out halfway. Haha, lost interest in my own post. My stalker next post!
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