Monday, September 15, 2008

   dkvgj
I've been doing badly. I don't like it here. Everything feels so wrong. I'm still on EST, making it almost 2:00 according to my body.

Now, I'm in a good mood. I've been down right miserble all day, for the passed couple days, but I'm in an awesome mood right now.

I'm in such a good mood that I was driving around fast to the Goo Goo Dolls. This song, my site song right now, is so awesome to speed to when you're feeling horrble.

That helped. I think what also helped was admitting to other people that, no, I don't like it here. Yes, without a doubt in my mind, I could easily suck it up and stay for three years. I don't have to prove that I could make it, I know and everyone who has spoken to me knows. I just stopped faking California was awesome and sped off screeching the tires like I would in any other state.

I felt so good that I just went out and was forceful about buying food to two of my roommates. So, I went out and bought food. I got lots of stuff for me, all chocolate. I even bought a Modern Bride magazine just because it was there. I'm not sure what to do with it now though. I guess try to get started on realism.

What are bridal magazines for anyway? Even if you are getting married, what the heck are they for?

Oh well, I have it so I might as well use it.

And tomorrow I'm getting up at 7:00. Let me be clearer, I'm going to actually leave the bed at 7:00. No lying around for an hour or so. I'm shooting a test an maybe even a project tomorrow. Well, definately the test. And I'm in someone else's project too.

Then, maybe, if I get time, I'll drive around fast to rock music again. But I don't think I'll have the time. Class.

Right now I just don't care, and that makes me feel better. the second I care I'll be in trouble again.

I'm going to sleep now. Yay, song! First time in a long time have I thought of writing or drawing. It won't last, but I think I know how to get that great euphoric feeling now.

Goo Goo Dolls - Big Machine lyrics



Ecstasy is all you need 

Living in the big machine now

Oh, you're so vain

Now your world is way too fast 

Nothing's real and nothing lasts

And I'm aware

I'm in love but you don't care

Turn your anger into lust

I'm still here but you don't trust at all 

And I'll be waiting

Love and sex and loneliness

Take what's yours and leave the rest

So I'll survive

God it's good to be alive



I'm torn in pieces

I'm blind and waiting for 

My heart is reeling

I'm blind and waiting for you



Still in love with all your sins

It's where you stop and I'll begin and I'll

I'll be waiting

Livin' like a house on fire

What you fear is your desire

It's hard to deal

I still love the way you feel

Now this angry little girl

Drowning in this petty world

And oh

Who you run to?

Swallow all your bitter pills 

That's what makes you beautiful

Your all or not

I don't need what you ain't got



I'm torn in pieces

I'm blind and waiting for 

My heart is reeling

I'm blind and waiting for you



I'm blind and waiting for you

I'm blind and waiting for you

No I can't believe it's coming true

God it's good to be alive and I'm still here waiting for you

No I can't believe it's coming true

I'm blind and waiting for you







Song lyrics | Big Machine lyrics

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