Thursday, September 18, 2008

   tkyd
I want to rip everything to shreds. I'm so frusterated with this. Right now I'm tired and in a horrible mood.

You know, I'm getting really tired of being in a foul mood all the time. I'm getting annoyed with myself for being this way all the time. I really can't help it. I'm trying to be happy and friendly. It's just not working.

There are brief, extremely brief, times when I'm happy. It usually happens listening to rock music and driving really fast with no one around. It's starting to wane though. The euphoria isn't lasting as long as it did.

In those moments, I consider staying. I think of all the things I'll get to do here. But then reality sets.

I am scientific in my thinking. I function on common sense. Science, alchemy, was, is, my first love.

I love stories. I love making them up. But I believe that I never thought of them as a career for the reasons that I can't think like these people, and don't want to ever think like them.

I'm trying more and more to hang out and talk with people. All I'm learning is that I really don't want to hang out and talk with them.

They are tolerable in small incriments, about five to ten minutes, but that's it.

It really has nothing to do with the people. It has nothing to do with the traffic. It has nothing to do with pretty much everything. This is about...beat.

Yeah, I think that will work (I'm listening to Boston).

This entire place is bending it's knees to the left as I'm swinging my head to the right.

Places have a sound, and this is not my sound. This is just not a beat I can follow.

I was asked today if I was having any fun. I said 'yes' because that is the standard answer. But then I thought about it and I'm not.

Now, the real reason I posted. It is the second week of class. I've already recieved a warning. I got a warning for not returning equipment on time. ...They sent me the warning two hours after I returned the equipment.

You know what? _____ their warning system! _____ their equipment! ______ this whole place! I don't give a _____ about their ________ equipment or systems! Want to tell me it's late? Call me! They required my phone number. Just call me. Don't send a _______ e-mail two hours after I return it!

I'm going to have to get out of here. I just can't take this amount of stupidity.

That reminds me, I was called scary because I could do a Rubix Cube. I did one side in front of this guy who showed up at my apartment. Thought it was freaky. It's really not that hard to do one side.

I'm exhausted and I'm failing my ______ film class tomorrow.

Night.
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