Monday, November 3, 2008

   dmkhkt
I just don't want to sleep right now. I don't have anything to really say, but when has that ever stopped me?

I talked a little with HQ. Nothing really business related, just asking them about Halloween. It's so nice to be in the same time zone again.

I got a call from the Obama people in New York. I, um, don't live in New York. I haven't lived in New York for three years. Currently my address is California, even though I don't live there either.

Anyway, the call came fairly late. Just some kid, but he seemed nice. Asked if I was voting Obama, said something else. I wasn't paying much attention because I'm dead tired and I was watching a movie. Just said no. What I loved was how he didn't try to convince me otherwise. Said thank you and good night.

I'm still slightly wary of people who talk to me. It's aftermath from my final week out in film school. That shoot messed everything up. I was happy being ignorant of what the people thought of me. -sigh- It was a little weird and complicated so I don't really want to go into detail. Let's just say looking back on it the next morning I freaked out. Oh no, it wasn't that. Not close.

There is something about my character. What it is I don't know. Before I left I got a spiritual reading thing, because the boy wanted to try it and I was never going to see him again so what the heck. Got some stuff dead on. Concerning my character...I was referred to as a warrior several times. Told this to my mother, she agreed.

About my character...I don't stop. I'm always moving. I just don't know how to explain it. I guess the best example would be the recent situation. I never had the desire to go to California, but I did it. I picked up all my stuff and took off. Two months later I took my stuff and came back. Out west I was so bored and restless that I would take off at random and odd hours. I would just call out that I was going to the post office, and leave. Then I'd be home anywhere from five minutes to over an hour later. I probably scared my poor roommates with my odd behavior.

When I was young, really young, I'm talking single digits, I was called the wind, or windy. I thought this was due to my speed as I was fast back then. But it could've been due to my nature. I'm the wind, but I was also fire.

Thankfully I'm a bit more mello now. But that urge to leave, to just get out, that's coming back. I like to rationalize. I'm a Scientist by nature. I can only assume that this urge is some primal thing, some primal need. What is it though? I have to be looking for something, but what? Truth? Extremely likely. I've taken beliefs from the old alchemical texts. Freedom? Definately. Freedom is what I know I want. I'm just not really sure what that means. As an American, born and raised, what freedom am I looking for?

Sorry for the weird post. I'm tired and still in "Cali detox".
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