Friday, November 7, 2008

   diytd
Question mark mood. What does that mean?

Well, I'm not sure that's why I put it. I'm tired, restless, hungry, and bored. They don't have a face for that.

And hello to Angel. Thank you for the comments. Yes, I don't get comments. I think I rant too much. And it'll never get old. World Champions -shiver-. My sports heart lies in Philly, as well as my birth records. I don't live there anymore and haven't for years, but I'm hoping for a pent house there someday. Now, to get the cash.

So, I've been off for a couple days...I think. Or a day. Something. I really need to get over to my dA account. I've been off over there for nearly a week, I think. Well, I haven't been on theOtaku either.

I just do that. I randomly don't go on. When I was living out west I was on the internet every single day pretty much all day. So I'm a little sick of it.

Cali detox update: I'm still not at 100% as far as my thinking ability goes. but I was a freak with that anyway. I'd say I'm 99.7%. I'm still underweight. I should be 115-120lbs. Still 105lbs. Chocolate, ice cream, soda, all useless when your metabolism is so high.

And after reading Angel's post I just had to mention the rebellion-conforming switch.

I'm a college student, not currently but I was a couple weeks ago and will be in Jan. So, as a college student I see a lot of people trying to be rebels and badass. I live with someone trying to be that. Funny how they all do it the same way? Drugs, sex, drinking, parties, wreakless driving. They brag and compare to see who is the bigger rebel. Um, yeah, that's what we call a norm. Now that that is seen as the norm, doing it doesn't make you a rebel. Not doing it does.

I really shouldn't talk though. When badass still meant what these kids think it means the word was too weak to describe me. I stayed away from the norms, but fighting those who called themselves gangsters, gambling, racing, jumping in front of cars, yeah, I was just a little self-destructive. I woke up, but it really was a double life while this was going on. My friends, my family, they didn't know. They still don't. I never bothered to tell them because I grew out of it so fast. It was two years of me being angry. Why I was angry I don't know.

And as far as rebels go, well, I won't go into that. I think knowing about my angry issue from when I was 11-13 is enough. If I wasn't smart I'd probably be six feet under.

I admit that I did do some drag racing a few weeks back. I hit 90mph. All I accomplished by doing this was getting the poor guy I was racing falling even more head-over-heels. Last post I mentioned my wariness of people. Yeah, he was sort of why. I thought he was just being nice, but then I realised that he was calling me pretty and cute, and mentioned marriage so much because of what he felt. And, yeah, it freaked me out. Especially the marriage thing because he actually talked about that a lot and then asked for a way to contact me. Thankfully, I had no way. But yeah, then he also got all the other guys in the room calling me pretty and cute. So, that was just really awkward. People don't ever do that to me.

Well, on to things that I'm not burying in the past. Yesterday I went and met with a college. I'm scrambling around trying to get into a Biology program before Jan. Film school was supposed to be the next three years. I stayed for two months. So, yeah, kind of a mis-fire there. I did well on all my shoots, I just like science a hundred times more. Probably should've thought that through better. I just got too restless and had to leave.

So, met with the college but now I'm torn. I want to do Genetics so bad. It would be a lot of really hard work but really fun. Or, I could do Wildlife Biology where I work with wolves, tigers, and stuff like that. I could probably even go work with wolves in Romania for a semester or something. So, currently I have Wildlife Biology listed as my first choice, even though Genetics has been my choice since I was a kid.

And I also finished some backstory. 47,102 words. 121 pages. I'm pretty sure it's done but you never know.

Well, this is probably needlessly long and my fingers are sore from texting an old roommate.
Comments (1)