Thursday, February 26, 2009

   kuuy
Question mark mood= actually I'm kind of mad and sad but not enough to really affect me. -shrug- Weird.

Thank you Talim and Kelsey for the comments. Added Cliffs of Dover to my playlist. By far my favorite Eric Johnson piece ever.
Kelsey: I know! Stupid Crosby was one of the damaging factors last season. Ugh, I want to strangle him! (I'm so late with this reply.)

Oh yes, and I put Caleb's theme song as second on my list. You have no idea how important it is I find songs to fit characters. When your eyes suck you gear towards sound. And Caleb was so hard. Hours of hours listening to classic rock and I couldn't find his sound/song. Then I played this for my "break". Ta-da! Caleb was too young to set to classic rock. That was his problem.

...[Everyone's like...WTF is she talking about.]...

Ignore it! I'm Epic deprived and I shouldn't be. The only character I think about is Keoki and he's a dog. He is an actual character though. I've recently come to see him more that way and not as an extention of Caleb.


Keoki as a puppy.
Referance, which looks more like him than the drawing.

First picture of Keoki (he's the blob in the corner).
Detail about Keoki's evolution from blob to above puppy.

Shameless advertizing. Hey, I am in charge of PR for The Unsaid Works, at least mostly in charge and right now. I love my dogs, can you tell?

Okay, last time I said I'd talk about my stalker. Eh, maybe. I might save that for next post. I want to talk about the whole reason behind the sad but not enough to affect my personality/mood thing. That's what this is for, venting. Stalker thing at the end if I have time/room.

Okay, it should come as no surprise what-so-ever to anyone who reads this that I am a Scientist and have been my whole life. [Check the archieve is you dare. It's detailed research on geese and that was before I decided to major in Wildlife Biology. Or halfway. I kept changing my major.] Here's a univeral fact about Scientists. We observe. Big fat duh, that's step one in the Scientifict Method. Scientists, not Social Scientists, but Science Scientists are not very good at socializing. At least not the really good ones who get PhDs fairly young and have things published or get a nomination for the Noble Prize. So, that's sad. I mean, it's good. It's great because Scientists who make the major break throughs can only do that because they're researching and not partying.

Alright, so my major was Genetics. I was 16-18. I hit 19 and lost it. I did not want to spend my life in a lab saving people/animals. I wanted to meet people. I wanted to have fun. So, I threw out my major, completely, and I ran off to California. I very quickly discovered I was not happy at these parties. I had the most fun driving home random drunks because then I could drag race in someone else's car. And drunks scream loud but don't remember what you did in the morning. The turning point from starlet/director back to Scientist came suddenly. I was walking with these two guys. I was getting ready to go to a shoot I was modeling in. I was very popular because I was a minority. I don't mean ethnic wise. Example: my class was roughly twenty people. There were two girls in the entire class, me and some girl. Two people in the entire class liked boys, me and some boy. -See, minority. So I'm getting ready for a shoot and the two guys I'm with are talking about slide projectors. Film students shoot still frames on slide film so they were talking about getting projects so they could look at their projects before-hand. I'm half listening, bored out of my mind. Suddenly, a ground squirrel runs by. I perk right up. And then immediately following came that feeling where you just say "Shit." I quit film school (with excellent marks I might add) at the end of term and started my major in WildLife Biology.

Holy, it's 100, no 1000 times harder. I have a quiz or exam pretty much every week. But know what, I'm actually happier. Sure, no parties. No socializing. No sleepless weeks while people freak out about your hair (straight guys too). No hot British guy you know you would've been dating in a month or two. ...That was my biggest regret. I had him! I had him right there and I ran off. He was such a jerk to all girls but me. He actually had respect for me and was blown away at the same time. -sigh- I am the fiery wind. I can't stay put. It would've been weird anyway. We have the same name, we're the same height, we have the same hair and eye color, and we're the same age.

So, what the heck brought all this on? My professor for Biology. I'm a Scientist, but I'm learning the process still. My Biology professor is a PhD. So right now he is the closest I have to a mentor. I have an actual mentor how is a PhD in my field of Biology...but I forgot his name so I haven't met him. So until then it's my instructor. I have a certain respect for him because he has what I want. I want my PhD. And the feeling is mutual. Which is completely mind-blowing to me. I was the first student who he knew on sight and by name even though I never speak to him. He pays attention to my general seating area. People move around, it's a lecture hall. But he noticed when I did it.

And you guys are like..."so?"

You'd have had to been there from the start of semester. This guy doesn't pay any attention to humans. His area is parasites. I take it as him seeing promise in me. My Biology lab instructer seems to be the same way. It's nice to know the people ahead of you in the field see something in you. Not that my film teacher didn't. He was a screenwriter professionally. He loved my writings. I hated them. I threw them away when I made my choice. And I perfer my choice.

I do find it sad that I'll never really be able to do the stupid things that brings people together. I won't really ever connect with someone. That's kind of sad. I'd end up having to marry another Scientist because they would have the same behavior so know the whole thing and stuff. ...But that's not my type. What I want to do is break out of the mold. Scientists should be able to bag a rocker and cure cancer. So, that's what I'll do. Not cure cancer, I'm not going into that field. But flings with rockers, engagements to extreme sportsmen, marriages to football stars, all while playing with baby wolves/tigers/ect. That would be awesome. Mix starlet and Scientist.

Okay, so, that's my ramble. I zoned out halfway. Haha, lost interest in my own post. My stalker next post!
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