Thursday, June 4, 2009

   cgkl
Question mark mood= really tired, not at all happy, starving.

Really long comments you two. No, Kelsey, my sister isn't actually handicapped. She's just an idiot. She graduated from high school and my cousin graduated from college. Big grad year for the family. Yeah, I'm at odds with my family. Life with them is bearable but at this point I will be glad to be rid of them.
Oh yes, Tracy. Okay, I get it. Did you see her Ivy pic? The thing with my sister is she does have potential but she'll never do anything if she doesn't grow up soon. She doesn't notice it either. She thinks she's a screw up so she acts like one, when to me it makes more sense to change that image. Her life. That's the thing with immortality, you can be immortal for the wrong things. Great doesn't really mean "good". Great just means big. I hated philosophy class though so I will stop addressing the issues of my own mortality. And really Bobby, "But spoken "Freedom and Immortalty" sounds more like mental insurance for reckless living." I did use blackjack as my analogy so what does that tell you? You know me. But that's exactly what I'm trying to say, feel alive. How can you feel alive when you can't feel the ends of your fingers? I felt alive just walking through the woods behind your house. People are pathetic and stupid creatures.

Well, well, I'm posting again after just a day? Why would I possibly do that? Take note of my mood, this will be a rant. I do need sleep tonight so I better just get all this out. Typing story will not work in this case.

Lots of moping today but I won't complain about it. Everyone who reads these knows I hate mopping. On the mopping note I will say that when I was doing the squeegee I had to do double the pulling because apparently my sister and Kurt left streaks and Brandon couldn't stand that. So he kept re-mopping, wasting a lot of time because of a little streak. It's a ____ing factory! It doesn't matter! We're just supposed to make sure buyers don't break their necks on oil spills! So most of the day I had to listen to Brandon completely b____ about how those two couldn't mop right. My sister and Kurt kept running off to refill buckets that most likely didn't need changing. And they didn't do a lot of work because they'd walk off talking, so when they did do work don't complain about it. Kurt and my sister got on my nerves so much for most of the day. Remember the bubble life speech? Yeah, allll day in their high school-esque world or who was dating who and who did what last weekend. Brandon kept trying to talk to them but they ignored him. I ignored them but it's just so so very annoying trying to squeegee between them and they just stand there with idiotic looks on their faces laughing. I know they're friends, I know he's been at college for a year, but come on. Everyone that works there that talks to us kept asking me if Kurt was trying to get with my sister. It was that bad. When random co-workers are asking if the two 18 year olds are sleeping together then you know they need to tone it down. Oh man, I was so mad because this one gy was saying all that so I walked off to pretend I was helping Kurt with this one machine. Brandon told me (Brandon follows me everywhere which is really wearing on this loner's nerves) that he didn't stop when I left. He started saying that there was going to be a three way tonight. Okay, first off, three ways just sound sick and really awkward, even more so if one person is your sister. Second, I'm 21. This will sound harsh and vain but, I'm too old and too good for Kurt. Kurt's not bad looking, but he's my sister's friend which means he's too immature to have a conversation without dropping a swear word. Third, those two are 18 and this guy saying this is maybe 30. Grow the f____ up. Where do you get off judging?

Oh, but more about bubbles and why I'm so annoyed. This is a rant. My sister has a very foul mouth to the point she doesn't notice she swears at all. And she talks very much like how most kids her age talk, meaning she says things are gay. So she said that some kid she's friends with was a faggot. Well Brandon found that extremely offensive and told me if she said it one more time he'd report her. ...She was talking to Kurt at the other end of the room. And you know, what nerve to expect me to side with him. My sister is my sister and I'm going to side with her on a lot, especially something like this. Faggot doesn't mean homosexual, it means a bundle of twigs. Gay means happy. She can say those. She says a lot worse things. If Brandon was straight he wouldn't of even thought twice about her saying that. And you know something else, my sister has a friend who is gay and he says things are gay. He calls things faggot. He knows that's just the language. It's a vular dialect, but that is present day English for you. Brandon needs to lighten up. He almost got her fired today because he was complaining about that all day. I think she hates me but I'm still going to defend her. That's what big sisters are for.

Oh and I think now that my sister is here taking all of Kurt's attention I have become my supervisor's favorite. It was always Kurt but now that he's always wandering off with my sister I think it's me. Slag it, I know it is. She flat out said for Brandon and my sister to get new mop water, Kurt to clean out the machine, and me to take a break. That was priceless. I literally watched the other three do their assigned work for ten minutes. At this point I was so fed up with all of them. My supervisor, I can't even describe how much I can't stand her. I'm civil because I'm civil to all I work with. That's why it's called work, because you have to make the environment work.

All week I have been thinking of quitting, and my dad said I could. Today I recieved an e-mail through school offering students home typing jobs that paid between 1000$ and 3000$ a month. Set your own hours and everything. I showed that to my dad and he changed his tune and said I had to stay at this job. One month and I have half of what I could. So, yeah, that's another reason I'm really ticked off. They tell me to think of the money but when a better paying, better hours, better conditions job comes up it's all about sticking it out. You need to do this for your dad. No, I don't. Any debt I had to these people I think I've paid, over and over. People keep acting like this is some lucky oppertunity but it's not. I turned this down. I got forced into it. My grandparents were here and they were surprised too. Last they heard I was going to NY with them. Nope, I'm...what is it my father calls me? Oh yes, a little laborer. I get to do work while my supervisor and co-workers watch. Or while my three main co-workers giggle like idiots on one side and complain on the other.

I'm facing a situation much like the CA one. I hate quitting. I hate giving up. It feels like scum, warm sticky bloody scum, under my nails. When I finally decided I had to leave CA it was because I knew I would've died if I stayed. No joke. I still haven't fully recovered all the weight I lost and my immunity is still pretty shot. I can't see this job endangering my life like that, so I have no means for quitting. I feel like I'm going to completely snap out at any one of these people any day now, but I suppose even that is no grounds for leaving. I'm just so glad tomorrow is friday.

Oh, and if you see this Bobby before I call tomorrow, which I will do I swear, we might be getting a week off really soon. If we do we might make a trip over there so my sister can watch her friends graduate.

Alright, I'm going to end this here. No one has to say anything because this is just a complete rant about my co-workers. I'm still so incredubly frusterated I could cry. I almost threw my laptop against the wall because I couldn't get into the toolbar earlier. I'm that frusterated. ...I'm going to end up throwing bolts at them I just know it.
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