Saturday, October 20, 2007

   Hearts Hats Knives
So yes I have nothing to do right now... Its like 11 And I reeally don't feel like doing anything else but this so I'm going to make a really loooong post ^_^

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Friday, October 19, 2007

   Shorty Short
So I am really in a rush to do this theres only like ten minutes left in the 3 period so I gotta hurry with this. So yeah so far awesome time and random ness

Okay thats really all I can do for now... One more pic

Promise to write more and better 8th! Bye Bye
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

   So I was threatened to post on point of death by spork... O-o

So yeah its the end of eighth hour I had nothing to do because I finished my power point that's due monday O_O... got to find a new book too... damn it...
I wish this was one of my teachers... espesally history!!! So anyways bu bye..
Late start!!!!!!!!! so yeah C YA..
BYE
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Friday, September 21, 2007

   Blah bad post enter stuff... delete the enter button with your mind its fun
So anyways school is blah home life is...stressfull but I found out everyone has a good side that you could get on if you try..found my history teachers good side lol...it was awesome... he likes music... rock... and football..thats a no brainer if you know him though.

so anyway been doodling random things today...and the last few days.. nothing much to show for it though I'll make something good soon I promise.. / I swear... but right now yep nothing to show for the doodles.. I do have a few friends i will be putting up monday or later.. .don't know though... well I'll right some more soon promise ... ttyl byes

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

   Why...?
Why does if feel like I'm always screwing up why do I always piss someone off I'm only one person yet I make so many people angry. I feel like maybe it would be better if I just became a loner with no friends and acting like I have no family if I just remain alone maybe maybe I could then stop hurting people I dont mean to hurt them... I don't want to hurt them yet it always turns out like this painful I feel like becoming emo again maybe this time I will cut to deep because its the only thing I can do to fully be forgotten and maybe to stop hurting people... my feelings are in an uproar theres voices in my head telling me to do it! What are these demons that whispers horrors into my ear. That send me horrible dreams that stay here haunting me. I'm sorry ashley I am... but how do I tell her and mikey what I found out .... that maybe... Emmanuel is afraid to date ashley because Of what happened between them at turn about about how ackward it got after homecoming...what do I say when mikey basically infered that I'm a whore... and a bitch...maybe I am... but emanuel said he was going to ask me before... I don't know what do anymore I don't want to hurt any one anymore I think I would rather be dead.. I don't want to hear the insults that are directed at me behind my back I don't want to feel the tearing of this already weakening heart I am swaying to the side of evil to commit suicide what I was taught was the biggest sin of all why is everything bad almost ninty precent of the time... why does it always have to be this way in my goal to make everyone else happy am I suppose to forget my self! I don't know I really don't know I feel like thats what everyone else wants me to do!!! Its nearly impossible to make everyone else happy.... yet still I'm trying... While I do that I loose my self a little more to my darkened wishes ... why bother the voice says if all you do is screw up? But I'm fearful... fearful of dying and facing the truth of floating all alone through eternity in an endless cold abbus of cold darkness... Im scared to be alone at all and I fear angering people for fear they will strike back and I will be all alone again... I don't want to be alone again I don't want those dark thoughts... I want to be happy and I want others to be happy yet I don't know how to achieve this... its impossible... yet ... its not.. I don't like this... I don't want this.. I wish I was dead so everything was easier for everyone else... and that scares me most of all.... Well I ponder this and then I ponder my own sanity...if... all these thoughts flow through my head and hurting people is really all I am good at doing...do I deserve life really or do I rather deserve to burn for all eternity... high school drama will kill me if it doesn't lessen... but it won't and I might not even make it to my second acen at this rate... well thats all I can say for now..

I watched him fall forward over the ledge of the roof top building I saw the smile on his face as he plometted head first towards the pavement infront of me and that smile stayed even when his head crashed into the pavement and his head was crushed and his neck snapped and horror filled my lunges but still a sick wondering passed through my mind... did he really feel any pain.. because once his head..crashed into the pavement he was uncontious..so when he died he didn't feel anything... is he happy now.. or would it be possible to take his example.. and do the same and find out for my self.. if it would really hurt as much to dead as it does to be alive... in the end the choice is mine..it is the one thing I can control... among so many I cant..
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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

   Begining of the end
,br> Hello Reinshi here yeah so heres the news so far, what we did now today we are moving towards serise short live videos to amuse and confuse the public.

Bushi here yes yes we have shots of places now the screen writting shall begin if you have any funny or amusing ideas let us know it will be helpful. so yes.. you know the rest well i'm off and me and reinshi are going to attempt to write some kind of screen play.. script! so woot here we go bye bye for now "hidden"
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Thursday, September 6, 2007

   Sick Sick Sick....
yeah, so as you probably figured out I'm sorta sick.. O.o it really sucks cause I still have to go to work...O-O because people are mean... and can't fill in for me... and because my co-worker said that I have taking off to often because of being sick and such. Which for everyones information sounds RETARDED! *eye Twitch*

anyways being sick sucks bad..

but I get popsicls.. lol

anyways i'm going to take a nap before i have to go to work

comment please The hidden has spoken
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Tuesday, September 4, 2007

   Used and Abused
Well I dont know what to say... about the subject thats how I feel... I kind I feel like laying down and just dying that it would be much easier that way but I don't know I dont think it would solve anything.

Before the feet of death, I fall, I know. In my heart that this is the end

why do I believe every kiss means they care?
Why does it feel like I've been used?
Now I'm in so much pain!
I thought he cared but he only wanted to enjoy himself...

I'm not saying this was exactly what happened though its defenantly how I feel right now...

amanda let me die with you please... well thats really all bye bye... till another day..if there is another dawn upon the horizion
(hidden) - comment if you will
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Sunday, September 2, 2007

   blah day ..
Hey Happy fuckin holidays to you!

Omg its harry potter animated!

This one took me forever to find!

my heart is broken even though I broke his heart my soul feels my heart breaking in the pain of hurting him is that such a babd thing.

as you can tell I'm just sort of venting random icons to make me feel better...

thats really all i can say so bye bye
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Saturday, September 1, 2007

   The Pope for President~

so yeah...not feeling so great I feel all shitty today...mostly because I just broke up with my three month long boy friend and it always usually hurts me more then it hurts them because I don't really like hearting people like that. So yeah I feel like shit. Dad said it was because I that a "heart". But I was like...do you really think I have a heart? *beats head against a wall* Damn it!

well thats just depressing

so what do I do now? I don't know... but my stomach is all in knots like I did something wrong. I feel like I want to cry but it was my decision... Why do I want to cry! Why do I feel bad! Why in the hell is my heart hurting! Im suppose to be relieved! But I feel like a bitch a whore! I hate this! I want to be with my friends! I want to go lay down and die!

Thats really all I feel like saying right now... Amanda don't forget bout sunday... and monday too.. I really need some friends... to be around if you don't mind to terribly
~Hidding tears~
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