Friday, May 14, 2004

So yeah, that was weird
I had a really strange experience last night, and im not sure what im gonna do about it...i died and came back to life, only to pass out from pain, and then to wake up in one of the happiest moods i've been in in two weeks. if you want details, email me at KsToaDangr@aol.com, and if i get a chance to check it, i will let you know what all happened.

for now, ill just go back to my last hour of a 9 1/2 hour day at work(all this on only 20 minutes of sleep last night, and a lot of dr. pepper)

anyway, if you get curious or anything, let me know and ill try to get back in touch with you...
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Monday, May 10, 2004

Still alive, i swear
Well, im still alive...she moved the rest of her stuff out yesterday, and it made me so upset that when i went to work, i locked my keys in the apartment...of course, she doesnt have a phone at the place she's staying so i couldnt call her to borrow her keys, so i had to break into my own place.
I hate that it took putting me into this much pain to realize what i would be losing if she left...i was taking her for granted, and lying to her about something in my past that should have been left there...i just wish she would come back so that i could explain all of this to her, but i dont know if she will or not.
Her leaving has made me start doubting myself, as a lover, a husband(legally we were common-law married), a friend, and as a person, and i just want to apologize to her for everything i've done...
If she happens to stumble upon this site, which i highly doubt, i hope that she will not hold anyone on this site other than me responsible, because it was my actions that destroyed our relationship...
Side note to Irish---I'm sorry i brought you into this mess...you have been nothing but a friend to me in my time of need, and whether i can work things out with the woman i love or not, i would still like you to be friends with me...and with her, granted that at least one of you will probably not like the other

That is it for now, but i may post something else soon
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Sunday, May 2, 2004

so ive finally gone and done it(re-edited)
In case you didnt know(which is probably most of you...i was engaged to a woman who couldn't stand anything i did, and i couldn't stand most of the stuff she did...
we broke up because of a lie i told her about getting in touch with someone from my past, and now all i want is to get her back...she doesn't seem to care, and keeps telling me that things are over, but i just wish that she would reconsider, and really think about what she wants...i do think that i could be the one true person for her, if i am only given the chance...
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