Monday, July 19, 2004

*sigh* i've just made myself sad by sayin that i like being different, but what's so special about me that makes me different? 1 more problem to add to my list of problems -_- and i can't really answer that problem cuz i got nothing that isn't already some1 else's (i was thinkin that what makes me different is how nice i am, but then i thought others are nicer than me) well, even if i might be sad i might as well tell u all what happened yesterday (maybe it'll make me happier) once again, my mom ran her errands -_- i sat on the ground at 1 place readin 1 of my manga books (i haven't bought new 1s yet) and i finished it -_- i was hopin that by the time i finish readin she would be finished, but i was wrong. i can be very patient if i wanted to (and i did) but i just wanted to drag my mom out into the car and drive to the book store. ya see, i'm the kind of person who doesn't wanna waste time if i have to take care of something important (to me, if it's school junk then i just take my time until the last minute then i rush ^_^"). well, around 8 p.m. i got to go to the book store ^-^ well, they didn't have the books i wanted so i just browsed a bit and i bought Psychic Academy and Princess Ai ^_^ now i have more manga to buy then before (i use to have to buy 3 volumes of 3 different books now i have to buy 5 -_- it's not that i HAVE to it's just i wanna know what happens). later on, i bought some coffee ^_^ and in a couple (or a little more) minutes i was finished -_- i hated to see it go so quickly but i LOVE coffee. next time i'm buyin the largest cup they got -_- well, thanx for listenin to me. o, i forgot about today ^_^" well, nothing happened really so i don't wanna bore u all with the details. well, ok bye! *hugs everyone*

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Sunday, July 18, 2004

well, yesterday sucked -_- my mom said that i could go to the book store so i can get new manga, but she didn't tell me she had to run errands (it's like that every weekend, she never tells me where i'm goin) i just hate goin n-e-where with her cuz everytime she said she'll take me some where she takes me some where else; i mean i have a right to know where i'm being taken, right? i was just so mad at her yesterday; she never listens to me and when i'm tryin to tell her something important she starts talkin about something else and won't listen to me. and i was in a bad mood already and then she just made it worse -_- she pushed enough of my buttons and i just wanted to go and brake something, but i knew that wouldn't be right so i thought i can go home and spend some quiet time in my room by myself the problem is, SHE COMES INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT TELLIN ME!! i have no privacy in this house unless she's at work. she doesn't understand that i like havin some time to myself. she doesn't understand that i like keepin to myself and that my room is a place where i can think (i would try the livin room since i spen alot of time in there, but it's too big. i like a small place to think in). she knows i'm depressed and in need of therapy so why can't she just leave me alone to figure my problems out? i'm doin better now becuz of my friends and she didn't even help at all she just blamed other ppl for my problems which isn't right. i don't like blamin others i just like blamin myself and i know i shouldn't but that how i am. i should move on before i upset myself ^_^" well, n-e-wayz i came home when i was suppose to go to the book store (it was like 8 p.m. and i wanted to see Rave Masters and i was determined to see it), then my friend called (the one on vacation) and i had fun talkin to her cousin ^_^ i was suppose to talk to my friend, but her cousin wanted to talk to me -_- i ended up talkin to him for like 25 minutes and talked to my friend for like 5 minutes. and i think i like him now -__-" which, i think, is a bad thing and it would get worse if my friend saw this post. well, in the end i only got to see the endin of Rave Masters -_- later on that night i was gettin tired but i really wanted to watch Inuyasha so badly (-_- i sleep earlier now and wake up in the morning, UGH this isn't what i wanted to do for a LONG time) but i did see Inuyasha and Wolf's Rain ^_^ well, today my mom said i get to go to the book store, but at the rate my mom's movin i highly doubt it -_- that's all i got for today so i'll see ya later! and let's just hope today's better than yesterday... *hugs everyone*

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Friday, July 16, 2004

ok, so as usual nothing much happened today. all i did was watch tv, and go on the net. well, my old classmate made me join a conversation with his friends, but i had nothing to say so i just sat there watchin to see if i could say something but i didn't so i just left. -_- i REALLY need to get out of this house. i miss my friends so much; it'd be great to go spend some time with them. just yesterday JJ called and well, we pretty much acted like idiots since we didn't speak to each other for a while ^_^" i can remember when i said punk instead of picked (that was smart of me ^_^") i wonder if she called today cuz she said she might call back soon. i would call her but she might be busy doing something and i wouldn't want to bother her when she's doing chores (she alwayz has to do chores and when she does have free time she doesn't have alot of options to chose from -_-) well, i'm gonna go and visit all of ur sites now since i said i would so l8r! *hugs everyone*

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

i'm sorry that i haven't commented on n-e of ur posts. it's just i didn't feel like (i know i can come up with a better excuse but it's true) i was just so bored this week with my friend leavin on her vacation and my other friend not being able to call much (her parents don't want her to use the phone alot, it's just how they are) that i thought y bother with n-e-thing else if i'm gonna be alone. i have nothing to do and well, i didn't have much to say on a post so i thought maybe i shouldn't try to post or even comment. i'm real sorry, guys and i hope u all can forgive me. and i'll try harder to comment more often or if i don't for some period of time it's cuz i'm lazy and i wanna relax and not worry bout n-e-thing ^_^" (i worry alot about stupid things and it's good to feel like i don't have a care in the world ^_^) well, once again i'm real sorry (i'm not gonna comment today if that's ok with all of u cuz i still wanna relax even tho i relaxed enough this week ^_^") bye! *hugs everyone real tight* (tee hee, i have a strong grip, just to let u know ^_^)

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Sunday, July 11, 2004

ok, i think i have a problem. -_- these ppl from next door (they're monks and live in a temple next to my house) wanna buy this house so they can live here and still take care of the temple. problem is, i don't wanna move since i've known this place for like 6 or 7 years and i'm quite happy living here. plus, if i move i might have to go to a new school and leave my best friends whom i've known for 4 years and i don't wanna leave them! i think my family wants me and my mom to move and my mom might wanna move as well, but i just have so many memories in this house. i might have said to myself that i liked to move out of this house into a bigger 1, but i wanted it close to my friends. i've never had a best friend for more than a year cuz i usually had to go to different schools but now i have 2 and i've known them for a while and i wanna stay best friends forever. i love them so much i can't bear to leave them it would hurt me so much. and if i had to, i'd die for them and i trust them enough to do the same for me. they're the 1s who try to comfort me when no1 else would they'd just mind their own business and act as if nothing's happenin, and my best friends always know how to cheer me up even when it seems as if everything had gone wrong. as much as i try to make new friends they just can't compare to me closest friends; i appreciate every1 who cares about me and r my friends, but i can't see myself without those 2 who've changed my life for the better.

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Saturday, July 10, 2004

*sigh* i shouldn't post n-e-thing if i have nothing interestin to post -_- well, let's see what i can think of, my best friend's leavin on a vacation for 2 weeks today/tomorrow (i'm so confused!! stupid time zones -__-") and i won't be able to come to her house every wednesday for 2 wednesdays! u don't know how borin stayin at home is -_- (i past the time by sleepin -__-) well, i've been writin a little story for the heck of it since i'm so bored and i also have another story me and my other best friend (JJ) wrote about the guys that we liked yugioh ^_^ (we have over 130 pages of that story) well, i don't have much to stay and i probably won't for a while so i'll write when i find something interestin or i'm just bored. ^_^" bye all! *hugs everybody* (heh heh, i'm so friendly now ^_^")

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Friday, July 9, 2004

gee, i dunno what 2 say on this. ^_^" i dunno y i'm writin, but i just felt like it, ya know? well, i was just thinkin y ppl think there's such a thing called 'normal'. i mean, every1's different and no matter how much u have in common with another person there's always something different bout that person. and normal means something like the same i'm not sure but that's what i think and if it means that then ppl think they're 'normal' but what is a normal person? my mom tells me to be 'normal' but what is a 'normal' daughter to her? it's like she's askin me to not be myself and i'm not willing to do that. i love being myself it's who i am and no matter how much i'll change i'll always be myself and i'm glad i'm different and not 'normal' as some say they are. well, i just wanted 2 tell u all that, sorry if it seems as if i'm ramblin but i just wanted 2 say that. ^_^

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Thursday, July 8, 2004

well, i went 2 my friend's house like i usually do every wednesday. but last night (more like morning since i don't go 2 sleep til 5 a.m.) i couldn't sleep cuz my stomach kept me up -_- all i can think about is chocolate, donuts, and coffee ^_^ which was a bad thing since i was REAL hungry -_-well, i ended up sleepin like 2 hours b4 i had 2 get ready but it wasn't like i was tired. at my friend's house i ate like no tomorrow ^_^" (well, can u blame me? i was ravenous by then) i don't think u would like 2 see me eat watermelon cuz it's a horrific site ^_^" my 2 friends and i went on the otaku and did some stuff and made 1 of my friend a site ^_^ it's not that good since she's just startin out and i'm the only 1 who knows html and other junk like that (and when i started out i didn't really get help, i'm a fast learner ^_^) well, i went 2 bible study and i ate this chocolately peanut butter mixture but it tasted better than it looked ^_^ after that i ran out of the buildin and on the field pretty quick and the field's pretty far away ^_^ when we had 2 go home me and my 1 friend started singin songs from musicals! it was pretty fun and i got 2 play with the radio too ^_^ o, when i got home i got bored and started cleanin the bath tub 4 some strange reason ^_^" afterwards i took a bath in it and all that scrubbin was worth it, if u ask me. ^_^

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Monday, July 5, 2004

*sigh* i'm depressed again -_- it's the 4th of July and the fireworks r pretty and i had coffee, but i'm just not happy. -_- i don't understand y, but i am depressed and in need of therapy. i don't really know what 2 say now. i'm sorry 4 makin this so short, but i really don't know what 2 say and i felt like postin even if i have nothing 2 say.

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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Well, let's see what my empty mind can remember bout last week.... ah, i remember now, how could i ever 4get camp! well, i went 2 camp last monday and it was a very long trip there -_- we went across this vast desert town that was called riverside... how can u call it riverside when it looks like a freakin desert?!?! n-e-wayz, we went up the mountain which reminded me of the mountain i went up in 5th grade 4 my first campin trip and turns out it was the same mountain ^_^" i missed my first camp -_- but i'm not talkin bout that old camp i'm talkin bout my recent campin trip ^_^ when we got there i got comfy in my dorm that i shared with my 2 best friends and my new friend and an adult who's very cool ^_^ our dinner the first nite sucked -_- everything was partically stale! i like the cookies tho even tho they're stale they're still pretty good ^_^ (i should tell u it was a bible camp) well, durin our freetime up in our meetin room a guy came in and he was soOoOo hot <3 i knew rite away it was the guy that my best friends were talkin bout from they're other campin trip. well, me and my 1 best friend (i call her kassey) went over 2 the piano there and started playin alittle. of course, i played fur elise (it's the only song i can remember) and greg (the guy i said earlier) applauded me ^_^ yay! a couple days later i got 2 go 2 greg's group 4 a talk bout worship after that, i found out he had a girlfriend -_- i knew i didn't have a chance with him but him havin a girlfriend makes it worse. i tried not 2 like him and i tried not 2 melt when his head was like a couple inches away from mine! o i 4got 2 mention, earlier that mornin i had coffee and kept sayin the sky was given a fresh new coat of paint and i told that 2 greg and supposedly i melted when he patted my arm jesterin i was some what goin crazy -_- well, at the pool i still was tryin not 2 like him but i got really mad when he put his hand on my towel! and when i saw his "abs" (more like formin abs) i couldn't resist but like him again! abs r like my turn on, okay? it's not something i'm proud of -_- well, i still tried not likin him but him sittin by me wasn't good and he was so nice 2 me ;_; even when he took all the spaghetti i started sayin i was gonna have some and he gives me half of his which was on his plate! that's when i gave in -_- i'm not really gonna go in2 too much detail since it was a pretty long 4 dayz packed with events, but i will fast forward a little 2 the part greg was leavin and i gave him a hug! now usually i would just think about those ideas but would NEVER try, but somehow i did. kassey said he first looked shocked but hugged me back and gave a nervous smile. and i kinda have a strong grip when it comes 2 huggin ppl so i tried not 2 squeaze the life outta him but i guess it didn't really work ^_^" well, when we got back he came back 2 pick up his sister and luckily he had a dog with him so i had a reason 2 come up 2 the car. after sometime he looked over at me and smiled and waved 2 me ^_^ i smiled and waved back of course tryin not 2 blow my cover even tho i think i already did i ran afterwards and i said i was gonna miss him! O_O not something i would normally do... well, all and all i had a fun week and nothing really happened this week cept the fact that i spent $130 all at the same time in the mall (i bought a how 2 draw manga book, manga books, an inuyasha t-shirt, and a wall scroll ^_^)well, that pretty much it. L8r

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