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• 1983-06-23
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• Rob Saillant

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• Always I guess, anime is a form of cartoon is it not? I've always loved watching cartoons, so since I was a little vamp, I suppose.
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myOtaku.com: The Vampire Ed


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

   WARNING: Don't read unless you feel like seeing a breakdown...
Well, it's that time of the year again folks. It's that time of the year where everything just feels like it's crashing down upon me, I just don't give a fuck anymore, and I ache both physically and mentally. Wait--what am I saying? That time of the year? More like that fucking time of the week--hell, screw it, it's a daily thing. I have days where I just feel like shit, and then I have days where not only do I still feel like shit but I also feel like I crashed to Earth from the toilet of an airliner. What makes it worse is this god damn weather! It's kicking my ass. One day it's hot, then it's freezing, then it's cold, then it's warm, then it hits freezing again and my fucking brain feels like it's about to explode. My throat is sore, my nose stuffy, my head achy...MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!

Here's the thing Ed here is a manic depressive/bipolar, slightly schizophrenic apparently and I hate my doctor right now. I'm not much of a sharing person, but right now I feel so agitated I need to put this down in words somewhere and I figure this would be a good place to do it especially since not many people are going to read it anyway. Anyway, "Why is it that I hate my doctor?" you may ask. Well, on top of those two wonderful disorders I have I also happen to have seizures. Sounds fun, huh? Well, I ran out of medication for my seizures and called it in for a refill at my local pharmacist and when I went in to pick up my medication they said they couldn't give it to me because my doctor never called them back about it. So now I am without my current medication, stuck taking some older shit I had to stop taking because it caused me to become more agitated for some unknown reason and now I've got to wait until an opening it my doctor's schedule frees up so I can go and see him about getting more medication.

If your looking for an idea of who I am well, here's the only time I'm going to tell you. I'm a sad, depressed, and lonely man who feels nothing but sick, and tired everyday of every week. And if I was to be completely honest with you I'd have done something about it a long time about to end it all if I wasn't such a chicken shit--but I know I'm not completely lost. I have a loving family, a great best friend, and although there aren't many I still know a few more people who care enough about me that I wouldn't do anything to hurt them like that.

Just chalk this little outburst up to my bipolar or stress or these fucking old pills, I guess. But I felt like I'd explode if I didn't vent a little.
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