Wednesday, June 15, 2005

   The crap this is me.
I don't know why I'm even doing this, nor do I think anyone really cares, but I answered all these questions on this survery/questionaire and am posting it here for anyone interested to rest.


Long ass survey

(1) Your gender: Male
(2) Single?: Yes
(3) Want to be?: No, I'm lonely as hell.
(4) Your birth day: June 23, 1983
(5) Age you act: I don't know. I'm pretty mature, or so people have always told me since I was 16. But, I can be pretty goofy, like a kid on sugar. But most of the time I act as if I am already dead...
(6) Age you wish you were: Don't know, don't care. I suppose being 22 will be enough.
(7) Do you have a web page?: Unless you count this place, myOtaku, not really. I made a few before for projects I had with my friend Charles, such as: Project Gamer (Otakuboard's famed RPG), HWA E-Fed (A Role Playing Wrestling Federation), and one unfinished site where myself and Charles would review movies in our usual comical banter.
(8) Your height: About 6'1"
(9) The color of your eyes: Blue
(10) Happy with it?: I guess. I don't really care, but at least some people like them.
(11) The color of your hair: Brown, with a small streak of white due to my hair slowly turning white before it's time.
(12) Happy with it?: I don't know, maybe. I thought about dying it black before, or taking some peroxide to it to make it all white like Sephiroth's from FF7 or Kain's from The Legacy of Kain.
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right
(14) Your living arrangement?: With my parents.
(27) Your family: I don't know what I'm supposed to add here. I got a mom, and dad, and a sister, named Crystal. That's it. Oh and my niece, Brianna. The rest of my "family" can fuck themselves, they're all scummy, backstabbing, thieving pieces of shit.
(29) What's your job: Jack and Shit. Seriously, nothing. I'm on disability for a number of reason. Most notably are the Seizures and my Bipolar/Manic Depressive Disorder.
(30) Piercings?: Yes. My right ear lobe.
(31) Tattoos?: No, but I was thinking about getting one on my wrist of a dotted line with the words "CUT ALONG DOTTED LINE" in small print written above it. But no one aside from me really like that idea.
(32) Obsessions?: Vampires, Skulls, Wrestling (I try to stop watching, but I can't), Video Games (I buy a crap load of video games and I haven't even played some of them or just played them once), ......death....
(35) Do you speak another language?: Not really. I know like one to three words/phrases in French and Spanish, but that's about it.
(36) Have a favorite quote: A few. Here's one: "I hate life, because life hates me."

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it

(38) Do you live in the moment?: Uh....I have no "moment." I Live for death, honestly.
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Yes. I once stood out in my front yard bare foot, on a hot day, listening to Jehovah's witnesses for about an hour or so. I'd say that's pretty tolerant.
(40) Do you have any secrets?: Of course, who doesn't.
(41) Do you hate yourself?: Yes, every minute of every day.
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: No, I write like a four year old. I don't know why, but I never got any better.
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: I guess. Everyone does.
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: I don't know. "Death of a lonely loser." "Worthless." "Waste of Time." "Live to Die." Whatever.
(46) What's your biggest fear?: Being alone.
(47) Can you sing?: I don't know. I never really tried, nor am I interested in doing so.
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: No.
(49) Are you a loner?: Yes.
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: No, I'm a waste of time. I'm surprised anyone bothers with me, but then again all of my friends, aside from one, are online and don't actually have to be around me in person so it's easier for them.
(52) Are you a daredevil?: Not really. When I was younger I did crazier stuff that I suppose could be considered daredevil-ish, but not anymore. But then again I don't really do much anymore.
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Nothing to fear, but I hate everything about myself. Except my hair that is.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: Passive
(55) Have you got a car?: No, the state says I can't drive in my condition.
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: Just about everything.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Love, I suppose.
(59) How do you vent?: Violent video games, my Boxing/Kick Boxing Dummy (SlamMan), and I use to cut, but I don't anymore.
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: For others, yes. For myself, no.
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: What do you think? No.
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Nothing in life matters if you've got no one to share it with.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: Nothing really, except my hair.
(65) And least?: My weight, I guess. I'm not super huge, but I still feel like I am.
(66) Do you think you are good looking? Nope, I'm definitely not good looking.
(67) Are you confident?: Nope.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: I don't know.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: Yes, a lot people assume I'm bad news or something. I look like a mean biker or something to most people when I go out.

DO YOU...

(71) Smoke?: No, I hate it. I was raised around it though, so I can put up with it.
(72) Do drugs?: Unless it's pharmaceutical, no.
(73) Read the newspaper?: Eh, not really.
(74) Pray?: No.
(75) Go to church?: No.
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: Eh, rarely any stranger IMs me. But I do tolerate them.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: No
(78) Take walks in the rain?: Yes, I've done that before.
(79) Talk to people that hate you: No. If you don't like me, then why should I bother with you? I'll make both of us happy and never bother with you.
(80) Drive?: Nope.
(81) Like to drive fast?: Can't/Don't drive.

HAVE YOU EVER...

(82) Liked your voice? Doesn't matter.
(83) Hurt yourself?: Plenty of times. Whether it be falling down and scraping my elbow or me taking a blade to my arm, I've done it.
(84) Been out of the country?: Nope.
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: I don't think so. McDonalds maybe...
(86) Burped?: Who made this survey?
(87) Been unfaithful?: Nope, never would be.
(88) Been in love?: Yes.
(89) Done drugs?: No.
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: No, I'm too considerate to do something like that with this body.
(92) Had a surgery?: No.
(93) Ran away from home?: Yes, sort of anyway.
(94) Played strip poker: No.
(95) Gotten beaten up?: No, not really. After my growth spurt no one really bothered me, especially after I threw one person over a desk in class for making fun of me everyday.
(97) Been picked on?: Yeah, a lot, mainly before my growth spurt. I use to be pretty short.
(98) Been on stage?: Yes, I did some crap on stage in Elementary School, didn't have a choice sadly.
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: No.
(100) Slept outdoors?: Yes.
(101) Thought about suicide?: Yes, I have a lot. Still do.
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?:Yes, if you mean staying up all night rather than staying up late to study or something.
(103) If yes, what is your record?: 5 days
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: Yes, a few times.
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Unless you count my sister from when were very young, and had to share a bed since our family was poor, no.
(107) Slept all day?: Yes, in fact one time I was sick I end up sleeping for two days straight.
(108) Killed someone?: If I told you that, I'd have to kill you too...
(109) Made out with a stranger?: No.
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: No.
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: Yes.
(112) Kissed the same sex?: No, don't roll that way.
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: No.
(114) Been betrayed?: Ha! Have I ever been betryed? Damn right. Way too many times to count, and they just keep on coming.
(115) Had a dream that came true?: Yes, or at least close enough.
(116) Broken the law?: Yes, I've stolen something before, but was never caught or anything.
(117) Met a famous person?: No.
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: No, thank god.
(146) Stolen anything?: Yes, as already stated.
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: No.
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: No.
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: Yes, and I feel another coming on in the near furture.
(150) Considered religious vocation?: No. What does that mean anyway?
(151) Sky dived?: No.
(152) Bungee jumped?: No.
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: Yes, a few times.


CLOTHES and other fashion.

(154) Shoe brand?: I don't know. I think they're just generic black boots.
(155) Brand of clothing?: No specific brand.
(156) Cologne/perfume?: Axe. You know, because it attracts the ladies. Heh, yeah, right.
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: Whatever.
(159) Wear hats?: Occasionally. I've got a Baseball cap, black of course, and a "cowboy" hat, also black.
(161) Wear make-up?: No. But once I painted my finger nails black for no reason whatsoever. *shrugs*
(162) Favorite place to shop?: I don't know. Wal-Mart?
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: My black fingerless gloves, and boots.
(164) Are you trendy?: I doubt it. Fuck trendy.
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: I don't mind wearing a suit and tie every once in a while, I mean even I like getting dressed up. But having a uniform for school kills the importance of the suit and destroys individuality. Luckily I'm already out of school. I dropped out by the way, if you really need to know. I'm a loser, I know.

BELIEFS

(166) Believe in life on other planets?: Yes, it's ignorant to assume we're the only living beings in the galaxy.
(167) Miracles?: Maybe. But they never happen to me.
(168) Astrology?: Maybe.
(169) Magic?: Don't know. I can believe in miracles, why not magic?
(170) God?: Yes.
(171) Satan?: I don't know.
(172) Santa?: My father ruined that for me when I was about 8, so no.
(173) Ghosts?: Yes.
(174) Luck?: Yes. There was a time when I had good luck, but now it's all bad. Maybe I did something wrong along the way to deserve this.
(175) Love at first sight?: Eh, sort of.
(176) Yin and Yang?: I guess.
(177) Witches?: Yes.
(178) bunny?: The Easter Bunny? Is so, no. If it means rabbits in general then of course, yes.
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes, if you love someone enough it's easy.
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: It's possible, I just don't get many rainbows coming my way.
(181) Do you wish on stars?: I've done so before, but not anymore. It won't come true anyway.


LOVE, and all that

(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title? No.
(183) Do you remember your first crush?: Yes.
(184) Still love him/her?: No, it was way too long ago. It was in that time frame of my life where little boys are supposed hate girls and be afraid to get cooties, or whatever. I've never had a problem with girls as a little boy for some reason.
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: No, love, true love is never a mistake.
(186) What do you find romantic?: Laying under the stars on a blanket cuddling up with the one you love.
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: No, that's just ignorant. There is a first impression, but no actual judgement.
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: I don't know, surprised. I find it hard to believe anyone would ever be interested in me.
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going on a blind date: I'd rather know them somewhat so I at least know what I'm getting into. I wouldn't want to be stuck with someone who is completely different than me, because that would ruin both of our evenings, most likely any way.
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: What year is this? I thought it was. Ah well, I guess I'd have to say yes anyway.
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: Yes, but I didn't consider her physically unattractive. I liked her just fine the way she was.
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Nope. I had a few girls, online of course, tell me they think I'm cute or something. But I think that's mainly them just trying to be kind.
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: I don't know, what is this supposed to be asking exactly? Well, I'll say personality anyway.
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: Nothing.
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: A CD, I suppose.
(208) Are you in love?: Yes.
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: I don't have a significant other yet, but the girl I'm thinking about, I think is "hot." I hate the phrase "hot" though.
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: Keep on walking, I guess.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

(211) That haunted you?: What does this even mean?
(212) You wanted to kill?: I don't know. It changes a lot.
(213) That you laughed at?: I don't know.
(214) That laughed at you?: My mom.
(215) That turned you on?: No answer.
(216) You went shopping with?: Probably my mom.
(217) That broke your heart?: I don't know if it was broken. But, her name starts with an A.
(218) To disappoint you?: Same person as above I guess.
(219) To ask you out?: Ha! Yeah, right. Don't hold you breath on this one.
(220) To make you cry?: I made myself cry recently when I broke down for no reason at all.
(221) To brighten up your day?: Rebecca.
(222) That you thought about?: Rebecca.
(223) You saw a movie with?: A.
(224) You talked to on the phone?: My sister.
(225) You talked to through IM?: Rebecca.
(226) You saw?: My dad, he just walked in the door from work while writing this.
(227) You lost?: My next door neighbor Walter. He was this awesome old man, he was practically apart of the family.
(229) You thought was completely insane?: My friends grandmother.
(230) You wanted to be?: I don't know.
(231) You told off?: I avoid confrontations generally.
(232) You trusted?: I don't trust anyone anymore. To many people have stabbed me in the back to trust most people.
(233) You turned down?: Turn people down? About what? If about going out, then no, because no one ever asked me.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU

(234) Smiled?: I smile very rarely.
(235) Laughed?: Yesterday, I think.
(236) Cried?: I don't know.
(237) Bought something?: Within the last week.
(239) Were sarcastic?: I don't know. I can't narrow down a specific time because I'm always sarcastic. Hell, I probably was sarcastic in this questionnaire.
(240) Hugged someone?: Sometime in November of 2004.
(241) Talked to an ex?: I don't even have an ex, technically.
(242) Watched your fave movie?: I don't know. I don't even know what my absolute favorite is.
(243) Had a nightmare?: Every single time I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
(245) Talked on the phone?: Last week. I don't like talking on the phone. Too impersonal, and also because my phone sucks.
(246) Listened to the radio?: Today, in the moring.
(247) Watched TV?: Right now.
(248) Went out?: Yesterday.
(249) Helped someone?: I help when I can.
(250) Were mean?: I try to be nice all the time, but my bipolar makes it difficult to always be that way.
(251) Sang?: Never.
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: Last week. Cinderella Man. Good movie.
(253) Said "I love you"?: Last night.
(254) Missed someone?: Pretty recently.
(255) Fought with a family member?: I don't know.
(256) Fought with a friend?: Me and Charles fight all the time, not seriously though.
(257) Had a serious conversation?: It's on and off. Sometimes I can't even have a serious conversation because people change the subject on me or ignore me.
(258) Got drunk?: Never.


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