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myOtaku.com: The Vampire Ed


Saturday, March 27, 2004


   When squirrels attack!

Today I visited the park for a little rest and relaxation, and as usual I strolled over to the large oak tree in the center of the park which I sat and rest my back against. I sat there for a while taking in the beauty of nature when suddenly I hear chattering and scratching from overhead. I look up and my eyes lock with another set of eyes, eyes that of a squirrel. It stared at me as I stared back in awe of it's cuteness. It made me forget how much I hate cute animals for a moment, until it opened it's mouth and screeched at me before it dropped onto my face tearing into my flesh as if I was juicy steak. Never before could I imagine a squirrel doing such an atrocious thing to a human, but now I know the truth behind those evil black eyes. They crave human flesh! Not nuts, or bread, but human flesh! Do not overlook this message! The squirrels wish to take over, and kill all of humankind.



There are more people who know the truth, and I fully support them now after this incident. The Anti Squirrel Coalition are here to help, so give them your full support in our war on squirrels.


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