Gender •
Female Location • Dreamland Member Since • 2005-08-31 Occupation • Goddess
Personal
Anime Fan Since • 1995 Favorite Anime • DNAngel, Full Metal Alchemist, Sailor Moon, CardCaptors, Rurouni Kenshi, Sailor Moon, Gundam (Wing and SEED),InuYasha, Cowboy Bebop, Fushigi Yugi, Ayashi no Ceres, Angel Sanctuary, Witch Hunter Robin, Fooly Cooly, YuYu Hakusho, Ah, My goddess, Yu-Gi-Oh, a Goals • become a writer Hobbies • I write, and hang out on the internet all the time. . watch TV, listen to music, and obsess over les than obvious things. Talents • Writing, I guess. Not much else. . .
myOtaku.com: TheMadHatter
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
My Book
I'm going to write a book (I've decided) and I need any information anyone can get me on Samurai and that time period in Japan.
Desperately.
I mean, I need any scrap of information you got. Like, for instance; clothes, goverment, landscape.
I'm doing what I can do. But I know (being who I am) I'm going to overlook something. So, thorough as I'm going to be---I'll need a bit of help.
Right now I'm watching a documentary on Samurai's on the History Channel.(there were actually people named Takeda and Kenshin, too) And this is really interesting. I've had the samurai idea for awhile, but reading the book: Why She Left Us really sparked it.
I'm even gonna name a chapter after the book in memorial.
So. . . All the help you can get. . . that would be plesant.
The difference between you and me
Jena called. Kinda scolded me for the things I say on here. When it calmed down she was like, "Well. . . I'm gonna go 'cause your probably pissed at me."
Hardly.
She says I need a new hobby, then to post when I'm mad or upset. Well. . . isn't that the purpose?
I post when I'm happy, too.
Rachael commented, said. . .don't remember what she said, something like "Sorry I annoy you". Why be sorry?
Honestly, you get strange over weird things. . .
I mean, I'm the one annoyed.
I'm the one who doesn't talk at lunch.
My issue, not yours.
So, don't be all I'm sorry, you people, being sorry or crying doesn't do anything. Take it by stride, joke it off, do something other than mope around and be pitiful.
They always get mad at me, because I joke things away. Like my whole 'Goddess' bit. Jena says that "Some things aren't funny."
Why isn't that? Why can't I think highly for myself? Not better than, but higher. Why can't I joke about being a Goddess?
Well?
I mean, Goddess are pretty and smart etc. All the things I'm hardly. . .
Somethings aren't funny?
Like. . .
Death, dying, suicide?
Yeah, I guess. If you want to ALWAYS take them that seriously.
I've decided, fuck it. You don't think its funny, fine. Don't. Don't like it, your mess. I'm not gonna turn myself inside out to make other people happy.
I'm not going to.
Not going to go to church, pretend I believe in God, not gonna sing when I don't want to, and talk to people I don't like, nope. Not gonna.
Think me a bitch, uppity, fine.
Get angry at me because I talk about you on here or anywhere else.
I'll say the same thing I say to Jena, "I'm not mad at all."
"You can't change what other people think, can't tell they to do something they don't wanna do," as my mother says.
I wrote a poem today in class (during algebra). And its called, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME.
Hold a grudge for what I say. Don't talk to me for a couple days. Shun me. Whatever. I'll laugh it off and read a book during lunch, or write.
I think Kirstie's the only one who really understands that getting angry does just as much as crying or whatever.
Doesn't get you nowhere.
I can't speak for other people. I can't say that you should do this or you should do that, so don't think that.
Do what you do, and I'll do what I do.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME
If I bleed
I'll bleed.
If I love
I'll love.
If what I believe is one thing you don't.
That's what I believe.
If I glare and scowl
That's what I do.
If I'm mad over something dumb
I'm mad.
That's who I am
What I chose to be.
The difference between you and me?
I've accepted the differences
The oddities
You?
Try and change what's already been set in stone.
Everyone believes this
Everyone does this
Your not to judge me
If I go to that hell you think exists
Fine.
But I'm going
not because of what some God sasy. . .
But because of what I chose to do and be.
That's the difference between you and me.
Not skin color
Sexual prefrence
Emotional stability
Or religion.
Lizzie prt. 2
Dear Ahlon,
I'm really sorry about today. I was rude and I apologize. I just need some time to myself for a while. So if you don't mind, could you give me some space? I need to think about something in my life like choices I've made and things like that.
-Lizzie
Is she breaking up with me? I mean, it kinda sounds like it. . . When I typed my reply I kinda cried. I think this is the most suttle "Oh, we're not friend's anymore" speech I've ever gotten.
This is partially driving me insane. Did I do something wrong? Say things I didn't mean? Speak too harshly. Joke around too much?
Am I unkind?
A bad person?
Right now, I figure I could disappear and it wouldn't even matter. . . not to anyone. . . if I disappeared would it matter to me?
I don't know why this hurts so much. . . kinda like nothing but everything hurts all at once. . .
I'm tired . . .
I'm sure all you people don't care, you know? I don't even know you. . .
Reminds me of an Evanescence song. . . Missing, I think its called. My favorite verses:
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
God. . .
They've finally done it. Megan (the student teacher--seriously, she is a student! Over at the high school--in choir) has found someway to give Lizzie's ego a good boost.
She already thinks she's the best singer. . .
But to tell the choir director at the high school that she has the most potential, and a good voice. . . leading the teacher to want Lizzie to audition of Concert Choir!
Concert Choir is usually reserved for the hardest workers in Women's choir.
Your typically a sophmore.
But to let Lizzie skip the introductory level, going straight into a class with upperclassmen. . .
I'll never hear the end of it. Ever. She'll be singing (haha) about this alllll summer and for the rest of the year.
. . . God doesn't like me. He's just screaming for me to murder that girl.
I dunno. . .
"Whose the most annoying person you know?"
"As of right now?"
"Yeah."
"Rachael is, As of right now."
That was my conversation with Jena before she claims she wanted to talk to her sister, and I said, "Fine," then we hung up. Jena said something before that, but I can't remember exactly what it was. Jena doesn't know the whole story. She doesn't know what's going on, she knows what Rachael is telling her--all the things that basically make me seem like a total bitch.
So, I made friends with Lizzie and Rachael is evidently feeling some resentment (they don't like eachother) and I'm not saying they have to be friends, or even hang out, but when I talk to one of them, the other's going to have to deal.
I can't stand Rachael suddenly, to tell the honest true. The sound of her face, her face, her walk, everything. Can't stand it and I definately not going to do something I don't want to do--which is talk to her. I mean, I like writing the two fanfics we got going; but thats about where I want the contact to be.
She's gonna sing Once Upon a December from "Anastasia" in choir, trying out for a solo in the next concert. Something I've been wanting to do all year (But with On My Own from "Les Miserables").
Someone said it was to impress me.
Not gonna happen. She'll probably do really well, I'll clap, maybe a 'good job' but only person who could really wow me as of right now is Jesse L. Martin. Fine ass man, I tell you. . . and he can sing. Mm.
I've been trying to remember when this all started. Maybe it started after she read that note that I could care less about her. And she had that sleepover with Jena and talked about Lizzie and me.
"She doesn't feel like she can talk to you anymore," Is what Jena said.
And at the time I thought, "Well, good. Because, really, right now. . ." Because really, I think its much more simple if we just leave the contact we have to a minimum or I'll kill her.
Actually, to be done with it, I'll kill both Lizzie and Rachael. Lizzie and her I'm-the-best-singer-in-the-world thing is irritating. Not, like, ultra irritating since she doesn't seem to have much else she's good at, but annoying enough.
For some reason, I think Lizzie needs me more than Rachael does.
Anyway. . .
Aviva invited me to this Unity Ball thing. And I just realized that my hair will be straightened for it. I'm gonna use that face cream stuff all week so maybe my skin'll clear up a bit before, and I'll use my pink eyeshadow (since the dress is pink). But pink eyeshadow doesn't show up well on really dark skinned girls. . . I hate that. . .
I would like jump over the moon to hang out with Aviva, though. She's fun to hang out with and isn't like my other friends where you can't hug her and poke her and stuff without them freaking out. . .
Oh, and I start going to the Augusta Woods Choir practices tuesday and get to join just after spring break!
A: Stop writing notes
B: Tell you, lovely people, who my backround features.
Well, lets address "A".
Rachael went to the Counselor today because she was "depressed" and. . . you know. . . normal people would be worried and ask if they're okay and crap like that.
'Cept me. I could care less. She told me and I said something along the lines of "Oh. Nice." and went on with my day.
Then I told Caitlyn ON PAPER and forgot to rip the peice of paper out of the notebook, thus resulting in a phone call from Ms. Jena and having to explain myself in a series of lies.
Lies that were pretty damn believable. Only Jena was like (When I told her the note was for Brooke) "I don't like two-faced people."
Well, Jena-dear, you know one. Yourself. Check, please, I need to go.
So. . . I either lie or I tell the truth and seem like a bitch. Or I could lie and sound like a bitch.
Option number three is nice. . .
Or I could tell the truth, Tell Rachael "uh. . . Is that an issue? I don't care. Sorry. But I don't."
. . . That sounds good to me. . . I mean. . .
Hm. I talked to MM about it, She says everything'll work out.
I hope. But at the same time I don't.
Reliable Source A: You need to stop writing notes.
Me: Yeah, really! (Laugh)
Reliable Source A: Why was reading the note anyway?
Me: YEAH! WHY WAS SHE?!
Reliable source A: See what I mean? Don't be ashamed to go to school.
So, I'm not ashamed. I'll go. Bleeding heart Lizzie doesn't help, she says that Rachael might kill herself now.
Yeah, well, Rachael shouldn't take me literally (well, she should. I'm not lying.). She should just think that me. . . being me and let it go.
Yeah. That.
Now onto "B".
My Backround is the MAD HATTER! Booyah! I do love the MAD HATTER!
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Monday, February 27, 2006
Les Miserables (Translated: The Miserable)
I'm Eponine!
Spunky, resourceful, and fearless, I don't take a lot of guff from the world, and sometimes I'm kind of freaky. Secretly, though, I just want to be loved in spite of my attitude and my goofy hat.
My Mother makes me mad. I mean she says that 'Les Miserables' the play is comming to Detroit, and says she'd take me if she knew her way downtown.
I find her a map and she says "I don't drive downtown."
Dammit, well, then you have to because I say so and I've been wanting to see this play since I was 11 and saw the poster.
So, I'll ask one of my Aunts when they call if they'd drop us off or something. I mean, they owe me. I don't talk about them.
I've decided that I'm doing a solo in choir. I'm gonna sing On My Own from (SURPRISE)Les Miserbles. I have to get the sheet music from Mrs. Micik, though.
I started reading the book, which is by Victor Hugo (I believe he wrote Hunchback of Notre Dame) and its 1222 pages, nice.
Katie asked Paul if I could join the Augusta Communit Choir that her, Jena, and Kelsey are in. He said if I wanted, after their March 7th concert.
MM and I are having a grand time Rping DNAngel (well, I am). Its getting really good, I gotta ask her whether it'd be cool to do a fanfic of it and post it on Fanfiction.net, the recent addition to my list of accomplshments.
I check out Keeping You a Secret from the library. Is a lesbian love story. I actually like it, you know? I mean, its no different, just was kinda weird for the first hundred pages or so reading him instead of her.
Maybe this interested was sparked by my brief Sappho obsession in early January.
I gotta check out Broadway.com and see whose playing who in Les Miserables. Oh, and maybe while I mooching off my mother I can see RENT, too. . .
Speaking of RENT, my mom put the DVD in lay-a-way!!!!
MY NEON GENESIS EVANGELION BOXSET CAME! I screamed, jumped up and down and kissed the box! It has Rei on the cover which made the kiss even more ejoyable.
I have the Fruits Basket fanfic tonight. I gotta think about what I'm going to write. . .
Boohoo for me. I gotta write my Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes rough draft, but I don't feel like it. I feel like going to bed early and waking up at 5:00am to do it, the falling asleep in Gym from Sleep Deprivation and making Mrs. Micik laugh with my sleep waling stories.
Reading all these books on love have made me realize I don't think I've ever really been in love, though, I do think the feeling is a matter of perception. Not with a boy (or girl) for that matter. I've had small crushes, but never to the stalker extreme. . .
Speaking of Stalkers; I felt bad that I've been going to all these sleepovers and stuff with Katie, Jena, and Kelsey (Alison and Hannah, too) but we haven't invited Rachael. But, then, you know, She does something that pisses me off like call a billion times, or etc. And I don't feel bad, at all, anymore.
Lizzie and I decided to put Ashley Brunk in our room for Washington DC. Heh. Like I'm really gonna do that. I'll tell Aviva to just put down someone else in her spot.
I hate Ashley Brunk. I can't be in a room with her, Lizzie's a bleeding heart.
Hm, I take back what I said before. . . about never having a 'real' crush. Sometimes I think I have one on Aviva. . . and then, despite my rejection from Brenden, I still like him, too.
Weird. . . hunh?
I didn't make the player, I got it off YouTube. Its the song I wanna sing for choir. Sung by Lea Salonga (Princess Jasmine AND Mulan's singing voice). I wish I could've been to that concert, you know?
I asked my mom whether I could do the Foreign Exchange program next year. I heard you get to pick where you could go!
I wanna go to Japan! during the summer Mom said I could take Japanese at the Oak Park School. Wouldn't that be, like, awesome?
Hm. I say that about a lot of things and they end up being horrible. . .
Amazing how I jump from muscial to musical. I had a brief obsessive relationship with Erik from Phantom of the Opera, a love affair with Elphaba from Wicked, a attraction to Jesse L. Martin's character in RENT, and now I tango with Eponine from Les Mis.
Oh, and after this, I'm going to start posting small stories and things. I wanna be a professional author sometime soon, so I have to work on my critizims. . . But, you'll always know when I'm typing a story. I'll let you know in the topic.
Email!
Below is that email I've been talking about. Check it out!
June 04, 2004
Tokyo, Japan
An 11 year old girl (6th grade for you morons who can't count) murdered her fellow classmate. She lead the girl--Satomi Mitarai, 12,--to an empty classroom during their lunch period, slit her throat and slashed her arms with a box-cutter--then left the girl to die.
A teacher found the girl's body and knew who commited the crime when "Girl A" returned to the classroom with bloodied clothes. The Teacher immediately contacted the authorities.
The grisly crimes sent shockwaves through the little southern Japanese community (Sasebo). Leaving many questions about how such a tragedy could occur.
Mitarai died of massive blood loss at scene.
When Kyoji Mitarai (Satomi's Father) arrived at the scene "I can't put in words what I'm feeling right now. I can't understand it at all. I don't have a clue," he said.
He said his daughter never spoke of disagreements with her classmates and appeared to get along well with them.
Police said "Girl A" soon confessed to the murder after being taken into custody and said, sobbing, "I have done a bad thing".
Authorities said they have not found a motive.
Satomi's father said he would continue to seek an explanation. "I don't know what went on between the two, She is the same grade in school as my daughter, so I don't know how much she understands," he said. "But when things settle down, I would like for her to explain what happened."
Internet blamed for Japan school killing
Japanese media have turned to the Internet as a culprit in the shocking killing of a 12-year-old girl by her classmate this week, as trouble over messages posted on a Web site emerged as a possible motive.
The 11-year-old girl who killed Satomi Mitarai by slashing her throat at their primary school in southern Japan on Tuesday told police she killed her friend because she was angry about a message posted on a Web site, newspapers said.
Media reports on Thursday said both girls had their own Web sites and took part in online chat rooms, the use of which is proliferating in Japan even among primary school students.
The Internet has already become a part of life for Japanese children. Almost all public schools have access to the Web and government data shows that over 60 percent of children aged between six and 12 use the Internet.
Experts say communicating via the Internet can stimulate emotional reactions and warn that users should take extra care not needed in face-to-face conversations.
"When you talk with your friends in the classroom, you look at their faces. So you can tell if they're serious or joking, or angry or laughing, from their expressions or tone of voice," the Internet Association Japan, a non-profit organization, says in its "Rules and Manners for Children using the Internet."
"But with the Internet, you can\'t hear your friends' voices or see their faces... What you wrote as a joke can make your friend angry."
Media said the 11-year-old had told investigators she asked Mitarai not to write messages about her appearance on an Internet bulletin board, but that her friend had refused to stop.
High-tech scapegoat?
Mitarai died from loss of blood after her classmate slashed her throat with a knife during the lunch break on Tuesday at their school in Sasebo, 610 miles southwest of Tokyo.
"I tried to blindfold her with a towel, but she refused, so I covered her eyes with my hand," Kyodo news agency quoted the girl as telling investigators.
Some experts, however, said the Internet was being wrongly blamed for what is the latest in a series of high-profile juvenile crimes that have shocked Japan and forced it to search for answers.
"It is true that the Internet can be a factor in increasing emotional reactions, but the more basic problem is that of an inability to communicate skilfully with another human being," said Tatsuo Inamasu, a professor at Tokyo's Hosei University.
"The reports say that the trigger was a comment on the Internet, but there must have been a lot that went before."
Inamasu, who specializes in media studies, also said many parents and teachers put the blame on computers as they do not understand well how to use them.
"I don't think we can blame computers for causing a murder."
The 11-year-old will appear before a family court, which could send her to a special reformatory. Children under 14 cannot be prosecuted in Japan.
Copyright 2004 Reuters Limited.
Warning: The following sites may shock and disturb you.
These sites are frequently where the girl hung out.
Basically the story as the red_room flash is as follows. Two friends at school are talking, and one mentions a story about a website that pops up which asks \"Anata ha suki desu ka?"\ (Do you like me?) and then if you donft reply, you die. The friend, upon hearing it, decided to see if it site really existed. So when he got home, he looked it up on the internet, didn't believe it, and then went on to visit his own favourite sites... When the message suddenly pops up. He tries to call his friend, but there was no answer...
After he clicks it the first few times, it refuses to go away; however, it then starts auto clicking itself. Each time, revealing a new part of the message. \"Anata ha akai heya ga suki desu ka?"\ (Do you like the red room?). Then a website with all the names of the people killed shows up, both his friend, and his name, are at the bottom. Then, he is killed.
"Anata ha akai heya ga suki desu ka?"
Do you like the Red Room?
Send this email to everyone on your friends list, or. . . you'll be next.
I dunno. . . 
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