Friday, July 14, 2006

the fidgety midget's tuna sub rant
so i walk into this sub place today for lunch and it's crowded and there are people in line ahead of me, so i stand in line, and the people in front of me are getting waited on and then this lady comes up behind me and the next person goes and waits on HER, not me!! and a few minutes go by until they finally notice me standing behind their freakishly tall counters that almost entirely obscure a 4 ft 10 1/4 inch tall person (which does not make me a midget :)!!!). and then they just happened to have this basket full of chips at this spot that perfectly obscures the customer's head. oh i'm sorry, i couldn't see you behind this ridiculously tall counter, and these chips cover up the three inches of you that aren't hidden behind the glass counter that i should be able to see through, and i thought that an almost 16 year old kid like you was a 10 year old child that was with this lovely lady that was standing behind you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! it's like this in every single sub restaraunt, whether it be subway or quiznos or the farmer's market (where i was today). i want to strangle them!!!!! and then when they do finally wait on me, i get this old guy and when i tell him that i want a regular tuna sub on an uncut roll with nothing else, he flips out! no mayo? no veggies? no onions? no tomatoes? NO cheese??!!!NOOOO!! i said a tuna sub, not tuna-with-lettuce-and-onions-and-extra-mayo-which-shouldn't-be-added-to-tuna-salad-which-already-has-enough-mayo-on-it sub. and why would i want olives on a freakin' tuna sub??? jsut give me the freaking tuna!!! on a roll!! that's not cut up, because, despite popular belief, i can eat a whole 8 inch sub without needing it cut in half!! why do these stupid people think that any sane person would want all that crap on a sandwich anyway? i mean, who puts olives, tomato, swiss, american, provolone cheese, mayo, onions, extra salt/pepper, oil and a regular meat on a sandwich? that would taste horrible...and what's annoying is that even if i did get a whole bunch of that stuff on my tuna sub, then they'd question my sanity because of it being such a weird combination...and what is wrong with ordering a plain tuna sub? so what if i don't want any stupid lettuce...i love tuna salad, and i want a plain tuna sandwich (except as a sub), not a tuna and lettuce and tomato and onion and cheese sub!!!!! i wouldn't even be able to fit all that in my mouth at one time!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa stupid sub people. maybe that makes them "subhuman"...lol...ok, that wasn't funny. ohw ell...oh, another mini rant: i'm so sick of all these fashion thingies saying that "___ is the new ___" for example, "brown is the new black". no. i'm sorry. brown is not black!! chicken is never beef. black is black, brown is brown...and pink never will be the new black either!! you dont' see the evil guys wearing hot pink. you don't see ninjas wearing pink (unless you count sakura). and skirts will never be the new jeans!!! skirts fly up in the wind, jeans do not. jeans don't care if you get dirt on them, skirts do. jeans are versatile, skirts are not. and on and on. end of story. end of fidgety midget rants.
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