myOtaku.com: Thorn98

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1992-12-21
Gender
• Female
Location
• were i was born in the pits of hell
Member Since
• 2005-04-26
Occupation
• Student
Real Name
• Shelbz

Personal

Achievements
• uh im a mess up at everything
Anime Fan Since
• 5th grade
Favorite Anime
• All anime
Goals
• to be a model
Hobbies
• drawing, hanning out with freinds oh ya reading too and Snowbording ,how could i forget dancing i love it
Talents
• i love archery and im pritty good at it and im prety good at singing and righting poems and songs

myOtaku.com: Thorn98

Wednesday, April 5, 2006

why do you all love me when i cant do one thing right-poem more like how i feel its not all that good
why
why do you love me like you say you do when all i can do is mess things up thats all i am is a screw up any way my family is screwed up and im an iccident too so why do poeple tell me thay love me when all i do is screw things up why why why,why am i like this i dont mean to be a pest ill even say i dont have a happy golden chest of every thing just nothing cuz thats all i am is nothing the only one who nows what im going through is my boy friend and hes always been there even when we parted but hes the only one that keeps me from suicide he tells me he loves me but i want to know why why why why ,why cant i do one thing right i dont even feel like i make pople happy i know i dont name one person that i make happy ,thats right there is no one i even think my boy friend is unhappy and if he is i want to know so i can fix one thing the only thing good in my life is him and if i make him sad ,i would like to die right know if so if i cant make him happy ill be more or likely to do some thing i really dont want to but if hes happy then why do i feel like hes not as happy as he looks i want to know do i make you happy if so i feel like i can atleast do one thing right i feel like crying cuz im dieing on the insaid cuz i want to know "do i make you happy" please tell me i want to know i can do one thing right all i want to do is make poeple smile it makes me feel so much better thats why i used to cover my smile cuz i felt like there was nothing to smile about but now i have the one thats ill keep safe in my heart its you jason and if you ever get tired of me always acting dumb every day then tell me and ill just smile and say "ok if thats what makes you happy" i was so sad the second time you left me i wanted to just end it but i couldent see how selfish i am i cant even die cuz i want to live but ill always know im dieing on the insaid from those words you said but im over it now and when you asked me out again i first thought no cuz i dont want to get hurt again but then i thought of all the fun we had in the sun and rain so i said yes and i cant be more happy but some thing keeps telling me that your slowly sliping away and its killing me my heart says your not but my mind says why would you do this again is it just so you can get hurt even more but i block it out cuz i wont belive it its all a lie i keep saying to my self each and every nite its all a lie i now it is and if he dosent find happyness with me ill gladly help him find her the one for him i feel like hes just doing it so i wont kill my self buteven if he chooses to leave me again i just cant sit there crying on the outside whail im dieing in the in, but why am i worring bout this im sure he loves me and there is no buts to it im happy for what i have ^_^ and i couldent love him more ^_^ well thats all for now bye bye and good nite *hugs every one*
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