Tuesday, April 12, 2005

   Satire: version one
Hey peoples, I'm gonna die in my Russian classes this week so I ask for your forgiveness in advance to the updated sites that I fail to visit. Kurama Clone #2 is away on business this week too.

So today is the original satire before I rearanged it into the form you saw last week. If you read both, please tell me which one you like better, funnier, bigger impact, makes the statement.



A Typical Day on MyO

One Friday evening, just like any other day, Person A updated on their site of MyOtaku. It was a very depressing day and it showed in the post submitted right at midnight.

Today totally stinks! I have the flu. My parents won’t stop yelling at each other. Oh man, I think they might get a divorce soon. My brother ran away from home. I hope he’s ok. A stupid car ran over my dog. It doesn’t matter how I try, things are never going to get better. Bah humbug, I don’t even know why I bother telling all of you this stuff. Its not like you guys can really do anything about it either. Sorry today is a short post, but I’m going to think of a painless way to kill myself…goodbye

Then Person A went to bed and slept. The next day Person A decided to go for a jog around the block in the brisk morning air. Person A ran into the brother who explained that he just spent the night at a friend’s. They walked home together and were relieved that their parents had resolved their conflict. After breakfast, they visited the vet, who said that he would be able to save the dog by an expensive surgery. The family then went out to lunch and caught a matinee. Feeling better that evening, Person A went back on the Internet to check up on MyOtaku.

What was found was very stunning! Many had commented, some multiple times, so Person A went to the first comment and read from there:

Person B 12:01am

*is doing the first comment dance* OH YEAH! GO ME!!! *sticks tounge out at later commenters*

Person C 12:01am

Wow that’s rough *hugs* take care! Love ya always!

??? Did these people even read my post? They posted their comment right when I posted

Person D 12:05am

*Jumps on your back, choking you and playfully tugs on your hair* Cheer up! It’ll get better!

oO …ouch…

Person E 12:07am *thumbs up*

Wow! That’s the most beautiful thing I ever read!

…oookaaay…

Person F 12:11am

…Dude! Your hopeless… get sum help…

-_- thank you, that was sooooo helpful…

Person G 12:36am

Well I dont' really know you andd I don't really care, but I'm going to rramble on about my life historyy becausee for some magical reason you will be solved by the power of my words and there is no point forr yyou to do anything else than this because I know beter than you stupid!

blahblah I’m smarter than that!

Person H 1:19am

Oh wow! I really, really really, really like your new bg!

um, thanks? I’ve had it for a month now

Person I 8:43am

Congrats!

*blinkblink* on what?

Person J 8:51am

Well Person G said all that stuff but its only an opinion. they think they're smart but they don't kknnow trrarsh! You should just give up, see ya in the afterlife!

oh, geeze, its good to know someone cares

Person K 9:02am

adding you

as a friend? Who is this creep and why are they telling me here?

Person L 10:08am

CHEESE AND CRACKERS!!!

Person M 10:46am *thumbs down*

I’ve got to say that’s the most horible situation I ever heard of in my whole life XP

Is this sympathy or an insult?

Person N 11:23am

^_^

oO? Oro???

Person G 12:04pm

Hey! What does Person J think he's talking about! you should never loose hope! ALL YOU NEED IS FRIENDSHIP!

First ya call me stupid and now you and now you’re my friend? With friends like you who needs enemies?

Person O 12:05pm

*waves* Have a nice day! ^_~

Does it sound like I’m having a nice day?

Person P 12:14pm

I don’t read stories anymore

What?! >_< This isn’t a story! Why would I make this stuff up? T.T

Person Q 12:27pm

HEY! I entered a contest and its explained on my site! Come visit me and go vote! THANKS! ^_^

…No Thanks…

Person R 12:43pm

hey Person G said to visit your site and yeah, I hope it gets better

Oh great…well I suppose it’s the thought that counts.

Person S 1:08pm

*walks off*

Person T 1:57pm *thumbs up*

HAHA! YOU GOT IT BAD AND I DON’T! That made My day!

-_- Glad you enjoy it at least someone finds this amusing

Person U 2:12pm

…good luck with that

Person V 2:41pm

I’m sorry your haveing a bad day

Person J 2:59pm

*pointing at Person R and PersonV* Look! Person G sent the mob on you! Too bad, losers! You know its all a lie anyway

um…it doesn’t have to be a lie, I’m sure they really mean well…or not…does it matter?

Person W 3:34

Nice Pics!

What pics?

Person X 3:43pm

…

whatever that’s supposed to mean

Person Y 4:21pm

kewl site!

Person Z 4:55pm

HEY!

Person 01 5:09pm

Nice music today

Music? Must be from someone else’s site.

Person 02 5:15pm

cool layout

Person 03 5:27pm

I agree

Person 04 7:23pm

nice theme

Person 05 6:41pm

Goodness I am sooooo worried about that monkey rumor going around! *pulls out a bannanna* Monkey: Look out! She’s got a bannanna! Me: And I’m not afraid to Use it!!! Buwahaha!

Kookooo!

Person 06 7:23pm

nice theme

Person 07 4:21pm

hello

’k hi to you too v-v… *sigh*
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