Saturday, April 14, 2007

Yesterday was AWESOME XD!!!
Yesterday Anime Club hosted a Super Smash Brother's Tournament in the cafeteria from 4-8:30 PM as a fundraiser...
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.
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IT WAS THE COOLEST FUNDRAISER I'VE EVER BEEN TO BEFORE XD!!!!!!!!!!

I've only played the Nintendo 64 version of the game, but I was selling food for the better part of the event, so I had enough fun feeding all the hungry game-lovers ^_^ We raised over 600 dollars, and that's after taking out the money used to buy pizza, equipment, pop (the girl selling it with me calls it pop... it rubbed off ^_^U) and all other kinds of expenses!!!

It was great fun!

I'm terribly sorry for not coming on lately... y'all have no clue about all the crap and all the strangeness that's goin' on right now, but I'll tell y'all when I get the chance and I promise to get back to y'all...

Notice:
I'm creating a new account here on TheO. It will be done some time this week and I will go signing your guestbooks under my new screen name very soon. I won't delete this account, but there is one specific reason that I must abandon this page... I'll miss it terribly, but I have to. Chances are this will be one of my last posts here, but I'm not leaving theO, I promise.

Check your guestbooks for me, okay ^_^?

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Wednesday, April 4, 2007

   Sorry I haven't been on lately!!
I'm so sorry I haven't been on or visited you guys in a while TT.TT!! My absense wasn't planned, I promise; I just stopped using the computer and got caught up in school stuff and my writing and have only had time to occassionally check my e-mails and pms...

I'm doing pretty good. Monday was craptastic: 'i woke up inn low spirits, refused to stay down and cheered myself up, got to school and had a bucket poured on my mood almost instantly. Everyone was so depressed and I just got tired of listening to problems from ppl who only talk to me when they're depressed. I listen to my friend's problems happily, people's problems...? I will, but not on a daily basis. Especially when they begin to believe that I have to.

And a certain person that I have written about for ages who got a girlfriend that dumped him before spring break and I just recently forced myself to get over suddenly likes me (Not Alan). I don't buy it or get it. Why would this come out of the blue? Yes, he's a really good friend of mine, and no he doesn't treat me bad in any sort of way (unless you count play-fights I start), and no, I'm not reacting to him in any sort of way except as I would to friend, and yes, despite how long I liked him and how much I still care, I'm not sure if I can like him that way again. I've just gotten used to the pain felt whenever I think of him and the sense of duty to keep away and make sure I don't unintentionally interefere with his love-life that I have never had hopes of partaking in. So, pointe blanc, it's weird for the object of my affection to suddenly return feelings I'd condemned as unrequited and hopeless. How the heck am I supposed to like him again after it hurt so much to let go of the only feelings close to love I'd felt in so long? And having Alan cheat on me doesn't really boost my confidence either; I know it's just him and it's his loss, but...it doesn't really matter when it comes to emotions. I won't go back to him, though; someone said, "Do you think he'd take you back if he really hadn't cheated?" I answered, "I won't go back to him. I'd just feel paranoid and everything he'd do would remind me of the reason I broke up with him." Everything he does still reminds me of it all, but I just pretend I don't feel anything and await the day that this torture will make me stronger.

And here's another poem for y'all in apology for my looong rant-post ^_^!! It's not that good, but it was eleven o'clock at night and I wrote this to clear my head from writing another poem, so yeah...

Karma

When tears stain my cheeks from endless crying
And I'm struggling and struggling simply to survive
Who do I blame?
Who do I scream and shout at?
Who do I build voodoo dolls of and stab at with thumb tacks,
Cursing their name,
Cursing their future,
Cursing all they achieve at and all that jazz?
Normally I'd say the one my internal demon keeps cursing,
That they're the ones I should aim my frutration at,
But I don't, for a very simple reason.
I don't trust my temper
And there's a much easier way to go about it,
All the while causing even more pain.
It requires no screaming,
No shouting,
No voodoo dolls,
No stabbing,
And no cursing!
Let it all go until it's past
And just wait:
Karma will bite them in the ass.
Not very relieving,
But it sure hurts more than thumbtacks.
~Bianca A

Pardon if it was offensive or volgar or offended any personal tastes in any form. It's mine. No copy-pasting without my permission, gracias.

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Thursday, March 22, 2007

I'm alright.
Today was a good day. I had Poetry Club and it was really fun; I fought a lot with Joe, but it was fun fighting ^_^. We got into a clapping and snapping competition 'cuz he was clapping and it's customary to snap in Poetry Club, so I'd snap in his face like he'd do to me when I'd clap and next thing we knew we were kinda wrestling, each trying to get the other to stop clapping and/or snapping and somebody asked, "What are you two doing?" He answered, "This is what happens when you stick two Puertoricans together," before grabbing my wrists from behind me and crossing them so I couldn't move. One minute I was fighting, next I was just dumbfounded that I was defeated.
"Aha! There we go!" was all he said. First time I've been beaten in a wrestling match TT.TT...
But it was fun though ^_^!

Lol... oh, and I read two poems there, too! I'll post them up for ya now =D!

This one isn't about Alan. Just thought I'd clear that up before soitsu got any ideas, lol...

Fallen Butterflies

I find it funny how things work for the two of us.
People describe love as having butterflies in your stomach,
But if that’s the case,
Then I must be more in love with the stage than with you
Because you unfailingly put me at ease with your smile
And calm me with any random word coming out of the blue
And no matter how hard I search for one…
Not a single butterfly.
(I guess that’s a relief in a way:
I find the concept of butterflies in my body strange anyways, if not downright hilarious.)
Others say that love is the most uplifting feeling,
That whenever that person’s close your heart just won’t stop beating,
But once again,
I must be more in love with horror movies than I am with you,
'Cuz when I’m around you,
My outright laughter out-beats my silent heart by a couple thousand times
And I’m too distracted by your words
To care enough about some meaningless pattering.
But then there are those that say love is like flying to the sky and back,
That after you meet that one person you can't live on knowing what you lack.
Heh… these love descriptions really can’t apply to me
Because being with you is anything but out of the ordinary.
You make being with you, talking with you, laughing with you
Seem like the most natural thing I could ever do,
So how could acting as natural as I was born to
Be such an out-of-the-ordinary thing?
So does this mean that I’m not in love...
Or does it simply mean
That all the butterflies have died from flying so much
And that I’ve controlled my heart so it doesn’t deafen me with a single touch
And that completing myself by meeting you is what I was naturally born to do,
Therefore making you the most natural thing?
I don't know about those dictionary concepts on love,
But there is one thing I know for sure:
I'm falling for you,
So hard that all those petty butterflies, heartbeats and sky dives don't matter anymore.
~Bianca A

This poem is mine. Meaning it's nobody else's. Please don't copy and paste this anywhere, okay? Thanks.

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Saturday, March 17, 2007

I know I posted earlier, bear with me.
I don't think I've ever posted twice in one day before =/.

Well, got back from the flea market... ever since Thursday I've had the urge to wear a hat, so I bought one reeeeal cheap at the flea market today and I haven't taken it off since. Lol, I feel like a little kid ^_^.

It's always been a matter of teasing with my mom when it comes to my feminine side for some reason... I was surprised to find that as a kid I refuse anything with lace and any kind of dress that a girl would wear--meaning every dress. Everytime we see baby stores my mom just sighs and says, "I wish I'd had a girl...!" or, "If only my one daughter would have granted me such a pleasure as buying her something like that...!" I always just laugh and drag her away from those stores.

I just don't get it... I've never been much of a feminine person. It's not that I try to be boyish or anything (whatever "boyish" is defined as, really), I'm just not one to go through pain simply to look like the magazine girl. If I wanted to, I could be (as I'm constantly reminded *eyeroll*) but I just don't see how such things define a "woman". If delicate and graceful define a woman then that would make a great deal of us somewhat rebelious. I find that "femininity" isn't defined by a set of rules, it's just... kinda like a culture! A culture isn't defined by one thing, is it?!

Great, I'm not making any sense and I have no idea how or why I got into this subject... *groan*...

And I dunno, if any of you want to read the fanfiction I've been talking about, I think you can copy and paste this URL to my Quizilla homepage...

http://www.quizilla.com/users/KyraoftheFlames/

Best of Wishes,
~Kyra
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No rain today!
Okay, there was no rain today, but it's flipping cold! I've been getting better with the cold, but still... I haven't really gone outside yet, but I'm wearing multiple layers of clothing, just in case... Puertorican that wasn't raised in NY in the cold? Lemme tell ya, I'm one funny picture when I'm cold, lol...

Today I'm going to the flea market ^_^! That's where I got my Tidus and Yuna wallscrolls--maybe they'll have what I'm looking for that I couldn't get at Mega-Con...! *hopes*

I'm not gonna be on later, but I'll get to all of your sites the first chance I get! If I'm on the Internet I'll be on Quizilla granting a request to a friend of mine (the next chapter in my Kingdom Hearts fanfiction) so if I do come here, it'll be briefly, I apologize.

Happy St.Patrick's Day! Hope y'all are wearing green ^_^!!

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Friday, March 16, 2007

It's raining today!
Ohayou Gozaimasu Otaku ^_^!! How are y'all?!

I'm doing pretty good. Yesterday Wilfred (soitsu here on TheO) took my li'l bro and my to this mall where we ate ice cream, dcdragged Wilfred into Hot Topic, went into a bookstore simply for the heck of it, and went mini-golfing in this glow-in-the-dark indoor mini-golf place! I've never been mini-golfing before, so that was sooo much fun ^_^ My li'l bro nearly killed us a goo number of times, though; that was hilrious XD!!

And lemme see... Then we went to Cici's Pizza and played in the arcade at a nearby Chuck-E-Cheeses (Mind you, I've always hated that mouse, but it was fun nonetheless).

Today it's raining. I couldn't sleep last night 'cuz my legs were hurting terribly (I'm not sure what happened...) and thanks to Daylight Savings Time, so I wasn't a happy person last night. At midnight, tho, it started to rain... it was such a beautiful song. I hear rain like a song; it may seem strange, but it was wonderful, and ironic, seeing as I started writing a poem some time ago about midnight rain.
But when three o'clock came around and I'd woken up from a half-hour sleep, I'd had enough of not sleeping, got up and took some painkillers to see if that'd help.

It was strange: I was just sprawled on my bed waiting for the pills to work, and when I felt the pain leaving I got this huuuuuge smile on my face and fell asleep, lol. I'm not a really happy person when something keeps me from sleeping, so I'm a veeery happy person when I can sleep.

But it's raining today, and I love it. I can't hear it like I did last night for some reason, so I'm listening to music. I'm gonna be at home all day, but that's just fine.

It's Friday ppl!! I hope y'all have good weekends ^_^!!!!

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

So-so ish mood today...
I'm doing pretty good today. I'm not sad, angry or anything, but I guess working all day as my dad's secretary isn't exactly the most joyful activity. I have no problem with work or cleaning, but it doesn't bring me that much joy except to have the house clean and breathable.

I dunno. Life's pretty good. I'm enjoying my break from school and disregarding any form of daylight savings time (I wear, I'll never find the sense in it) by going to sleep at crazy times and waking up at even crazier hours.

But that's me, fighting the system and Benjamin Franklin ^_^. I started a poem the other day... It's a two-side conversation in verse and I've got the first person's side complete, I just need the second person done. Neither's wrong in the situation, it's just that one side feels better than the other about the situation... the first person got the short straw, so I enjoyed writing her point of view.

And the drawing's coming together; the inking got ruined by this one line that I confused for her arm, so I had to retouch it in the computer (*cries at failure*), but the copy's lines are too thick and stuff, blah blah blah, but I worked on it more anyways... this one will be one of my best yet, so I'm excited ^_^.

Well, I'm gonna go before I start thinking about how I'm gonna talk to that idiot, Alan, on Monday... it's a little ways off, but when one's bored, one thinks, and unfotunately those thoughts tend to be discomforting.

And I actually visited everyone yesterday!! This is an accomplishment for me ^_^!!!!!!!!!

745 visits and 66 gb sinings and counting-- that just makes my day, guys!

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I'm playing the mom in hte house all week!
Hey-lo Otaku!!

Lol, you guys are right... too much drama. I didn't ask for it, though, I swear! Some of it just happened, some was my fault (as in getting involved with a certain idiot in the first place), and the rest is just... meh. I'm not gonna think about it ^_^ It's spring break, right?!

Well, because it is spring break, I am not at school and my mom's at work. Which leaves my li'l bro and me home alone. And what do you think is expected from my mom when she comes home?

A clean house!! So yesterday from the moment I got up, I started to clean, clean, and-- you guessed it!-- clean like a bandit. Surprisingly, I've never had a problem with cleaning; so long as nothing smells toooo bad, I'm very much okay with organizing the house. And I cooked dinner yesterday too. The process was disastrous, but inn the end, it was something of a success ^_^U. I'm a pretty good cook when I know what I'm making and don't push too far past the limits of experimentation, but today Mom told me she's getting take-out, so Idon't have to worry about dinner again, sigh.

So today I'm gonna work at re-cleaning everything I cleaned yesterday that got mmessy up until today, and then I'm gonna work on a drawing that is coming out so AWESOME XD!!!!!!!!! It started out tiny, but I blew it up on the computer, replicated it by hand, and then re-did the whole thing on top of the blown-up copy and inked it... The thing is that the pic has water effects. The character is penned and could be complete right now if I want it to be, but it's raining in the pic (although I can't draw the background) and I'm doing the water effects with pencil... then I'm gonna color it with colored pencils, photocopy it, and post it up for y'all to see ^_^ Long-ish process, but I have aaaaall week, haha!!

ja ne!
~Kyra

Question:

If one day of the week were to rule over all the other days of the week, what day would you want it to be?
(Me= Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, I say!!!)
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Sunday, March 11, 2007

I'm doing pretty good.
Hello! How is everyone? Are y'all good? Bad? Unsure? Neither? Well, I hope for the best.

I am doing... well. I'm thinking a lot. I might be moving back to PR in the summer, and I have the choice to stay with my dad if my mom does move back. I'm actually considering it.

Alan (my ex-ish boy-friend person) doesn't seem to have grasped that I don't care if I like him or not, that I'm not going back with him after what he did. He said he doesn't want to hurt me, but he already did, and I don't have energy to deal with an incident like that last time again. Being cheated on has to be the worst.

And ever since Tuesday, a really good friend of mine has been acting strangely. I used to like him, but kept my distance 'cuz he got a girlfriend and he distanced himself as it was the closer he got to her, and so we hardly talked, but were still so-so friends. He randomly called me on Tuesday and we chatted like we hadn't in a long time, and we hung out Thursday after school for a while. He's very polite, but he said a couple of too-nice things that left awkward silences in the room (which I ignored). Then he called me on Friday 'cuz he remembered that I'd be home all weekend and he kept me company for a long while even though he had friends over. What really surprised me, tho, was a text message he sent me the moment he got off a plane somewhere.

When you get off a plane, aren't you supposed to call your parents...?

Then I find out that his girlfriend dumped him at school on Tuesday. "Oh crap; and she dumped him 'cuz girls like him too much," was all I could think. She used to get all worried when I'd be around him for some reason, and to be honest, I don't even feel the same anymore and hardly talked to him even before. *groans* Stupid freshmman drama!!!!!!!!!

*breathes* But other than jealous girlfriends, persistent idiots and difficult decisions, I am doing very good ^_^. I've gotta go now, but I'm gonna try and visit y'all, okay?

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Wednesday, March 7, 2007

I've been doing a lot better now.
'Ello there! How's everyone today?

Me, I'm doing pretty good. I'm worried about one of my friends, but I'm reeeally hoping she'll get better... she's depressed and I don't know how to help her. Actually, she and my best friend, A-chan in PR, are both depressed, and no matterhow hard I try, I can't make any of it better.

They can't see any meaning in life and do nothing to try and help themselves... I know what it's like to feel helpless and I know what it's like to put yourself in a situation where you know you'll end up hurt, but do it anyway. That's what happened with Alan. Though it hurt, I pushed and pushed myself until I got past it, and that's where the difference lies. They just stay down and blame life, when most of what happens in life is driven by our own choices and can be changed. It hurts them and it hurts me to see them like this when my state of mind relies so much on their smiles and happiness.

I'm really worried. I don't want to lose anybody else. I'm tired of feeling lonely, and now that I'm in a state where I am more than content despite the crap going on in my life, my friend here wants to end hers. I talked to her today and she seems better, but I have to talk to her more tomorrow... try and cheer her up again. She told me not to worry, that she says dramatic things sometimes, but I sense sincerity and that's what scares me.

My friends give me hope and something to live for, but when they're like this, I can't think straight. All day, even before we started talking about it, I've been out of it and stumbling over people, almost crashing into walls, having no idea where I'm going or why I'm doing anything. It's like the ground and world are spinning in opposite directions and I have no idea which is the right way to turn.

Reminds me of dislexia for some reason...

Gotta go now.
Take care everyone, okay? Plz...?

ja ne!
~Kyra
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