Monday, February 19, 2007

   Ima 15-year-old XD!!!!!!!!
OMG I'M FIFTEEN YEARS OLD XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy!!!!! Alan and Trevor are jerks, but I don't care! I'm exhausted from Mega-Con and a race I went to yesterday, but I don't care! It's bloody freezing, and there's no way on the planet that I care!!!

I don't even feel 15, but then again, there's no specific way that a 15-year-old is supposed to feel, right ^_^?

Something that happened at Mega-Con keeps making me randomly laugh. My li'l bro and I met up with Wilfred, Liz, Iago and Alan at Mega-Con (they were at the front of the line 0_0!!) and stuck with at least one person from the group the entire time. I found out there that Liz is a vegetarian; unfortunately, it kinda slipped my mind when we walked to the McDonalds and I left my li'l bro in the line to get us food. Liz kept offering me fries and her boyfriend, Iago (cosplaying as Colonel Hughes), kept eating them in my face to make me hungry. So when Wilfred and my li'l bro came with the food and they gave me my Kids Meal (we were on a tiiiiight budget), I offered her a nugget.

She looked like she would die and I remembered just as she exclaimed, "How could you?"
"I forgot!!! I'm soorry!!!" I kept saying...
It was too late.
She told Iago.
He fried me.
As in took one of my fries and threw it at me.
Thus, I was fried in shame TT_TT.
.
.
.
But it was hilarious ^_^.

Ima go now and visit y'all, 'kay ~_^!!

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Sunday, February 18, 2007

I'm happy, angry and sad all at the same time, so there is no emicon today...
MEGA-CON WAS DA COOLEST XD!!!!!!!

I got 3 Fruits Basket T-shirts (more like Kyo-kun T-shirts ^_^U...), a Bleach bag with Ichigo on it (last one...!), the Kingdom Hearts 2 soundtrack and one of the D-N-Angel soundtracks. My li'l bro blew off his money on FF7 pins and got the Best of Bleach soundtrack XD!! I love the music from Bleach!!!!

So, the Convention was awesome.

If it weren't for two complete jerks I would go on with this post blabbing about the Convention and how we walked to McDonalds and I convinced my li'l bro to get me a Kid's Meal and stuff... But there's one specific jerk that's been stuck in my head ever since the convention and I hate it.

Alan's such a flipping jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
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Let me elaborate on that thought.

Ever since I met him he's been a... well... perv, but I didn't do anything about it. He seemed like the kind of guy that would get what he couldn't get in one place somewhere else, so I never returned any of those kinds of gestures. He'd get bored eventually, right?

So I never took what he said seriously. I'd just be all like, "Yeah, whatever you say," and that would annoy him. But at the convention, he said something that... made me wonder. For once in all the time I've known him, he sounded like he meant it.

And the thing was that, as time passed, I had begun to... want him around. Everyone warned me he was an idiot, but he hadn't done anything to me to make me think so. And even if I wanted him around, I hated that 'cuz I knew it was wrong. I was just a joke to him.

And so he convinced me he meant it... I can't believe I took those words seriously. I should've just gone on with my sarcastic crap and ignored him, slapped him, pushed him, anything!!!

I saw Trevor at Mega-Con and went for a walk by myself to blow off some steam (Trevor's the idiot I might have mention in earlier posts: the guy spreading rumors about me everywhere) when Liz called looking for Alan. I saw him from the second floor and ran down to give him the phone (he doesn't have a cellphone... and he's a senior!o.0) when I saw him with this cosplayer... Three-ish words to describe her: COMPLETE CAT-GIRL SKANK. There are ppl that act dumb, and there are ppl that actually kinda are... she kinda was. She left after a minute of him talking on the phone and talked to me for a minute or so before running off after somebody named Alex. The moment he hung up, he started looking for her and I helped; I felt bad for bringing him a fight on a phone (his twin and him were arguing). We found her and I went back to the gameroom where my bro and Wilfred (soitsu on theO) were, but kept making excuses to go walking around: bathroom, water fountain, anything. The last trip, I saw him sitting against the wall with cat-girl... let's just say it wasn't something I wanted to see. Wilfred and my li'l bro came out at that exact moment, so we were kinda standing just two yards away from them. I needed to get away, so I pretended I didn't notice him and we walked somewhere.

He'd been staring at me the whole time.

That stuff had me glum the rest of the time. I feel bad 'cuz I got my bro and Wilfred worried, but I couldn't help it. I don't want ppl close to me 'cuz they always hurt me, but the fact that he finally convinced me and then went and just... *breathes*

Long post... sorry.

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Friday, February 16, 2007

MEGA-CON'S TOMRROW XD!!!
I'm so excited! Mega-Con's tomorrow!!! My first anime convention ^o^!!

I'm not really sure who I'll drag around (ppl keep dropping out suddenly >:o!) but I know for sure that a friend of mine, Y-chan, is gonna be stuck in the line, so I'll corner her there, lol.

Well, me's trying to pay the light bill on the internet... not really working out. I thought I'd be completely lost as to how to do this bill-paying stuff, but I'm strangely good at it; then what's the problem, you ask? Two words.

Dial... up.

It won't load the page!! Arg!!! *simmers down* Okay... I feel better now. I'm listening to Linkin Park right now; I don't know the name of hte songs, though... Oh, wait! *listens to first lyric* "Crawling in My Skin" ^_^! I like this one. But I especially like "The End".

A couple of my friends are cosplaying for hte convention: a pair of twin seniors I know are going as Colonel Hughes and Roy Mustang from Full Metal Alchemist, Y-chan simply said she was cosplaying, and a handful of others simply said they were dressing up, haha. I was hanging out with the Colonel Hughes (Iago) guy's girlfriend, Liz-chan, during lunch today. She's gonna straighten his hair, lol; a childhood buddy of mine who's in a couple of my classes has this BIG head of curly hair (lots and lots of hair!!!) and he straightened it...

I didn't leave him alone XD!! I LOVED it! It was all silky and straight... he'd laugh every time I'd just come and touch his hair, mostly 'cuz I'd buckled over laughing when he turned around like, "What the...?". He's cool ^_^.

Well, I'm gonna go and visit y'all!!

Best of wishes!!

ja ne!
~Kyra
PS= My b-day's on Monday XD! I'll be 15!!!!!! Woot!
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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Wow... I've had six hundred and sixty-six hits o_0...
Thus... tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Forgive me, but I was unable to make y'all Valentine's Day cards TT.TT I can only blame school and my own exhaustion...

So school's killing me, and I'm surprised that the rumors about what happened with Trevor haven't died down. Ppl I talk to day to day don't think I know when they talk about me and what happened/what they think happened, but I hear things and others tell me stupid remarks those ppl make simply to see me blow up... which I don't allow them the pleasure of seeing.

Today was anime club... it was boring, lol, but I kinda go just to hang out with ppl. I was worried I'd feel bored and/or left out without Ana or Stoof there (two of my buddies) but it was fun. Michael kept stealing my hat and hoodie, so we got scolded a cpl times for making noise, lol... It was disturbing to see a guy wearing my hoodie, but then again, it said ARMY across the front (that striked a funny comment) so it wasn't that awkward.

At least... not as disturbing as seeing Wess in a skirt and having make-up put on him by several girls. I cannot decide which is more disturbing: him in a skirt with makeup, or the fact that I stood there video taping it. Lol, it was bloody hilarious... if it weren't for a ll my friends from my old school and the 11 grade slave days at that same school, I think I'd have been scarred for life.

But the fact is that I have seen many guys in skirts, so I'm used to it. Lol, this is a strange post...

Sorry I haven't updated in a while; school and life don't always give me liesure time ^_^ (not to mention I got my progress report... good grades, but they should better, so I can't skip out on homework like I tend to do -_-U...)

I hope y'all are doing well, but how is everything?!

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Thursday, February 8, 2007

I nPoetry Club Rigyht Now...
Hello... Still contemplating things. Wilfred said I hadn't updated, so here ya go.

For the first time in ages, Poetry Club's cheered me up. I'm relieved... Such a wonderful feeling.

Had to teach my 3rd period how to write a review; it was boring, but the relief when it was over... Glorious.

I feel something's finally melting, moving. I'm remembering why I try, why I fight, why I am who I am today.

I'm remembering my purpose.

And I love it.

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Saturday, February 3, 2007

Hardly anyone's updated ^_^U.
Well... today's better. My stomach's a mess, I have a crapload of homework, but hey, that's the life of a high-schooler.

Eleven days until Valentines Day... Sixteen days until my birthday... My mom works that day and I don't have school, so I have no idea what I'll be doing ^_^ Mega-Con finishes the day before my b-day, so I guess I'll just be swamping in my anime glory, lol... So many ppl are going! I have to reserve my ticket already... I'm still contemplating cos-play, but I'd need $$$ for that. Oh, well; I'll go as my own unique self. Or as my own character ^_^.

So, are any of you excited for Valentine's Day? Anyone expecting anything? I'm gonna try and make cards, but to be honest, I'm not such a big fan of the holiday. Not so many good memories attached to that specific day...

But I'm starting to feel better nonetheless. I'm gonna be 15 soon, so why shouldn't I try and be happy? Staying sad isn't doing any good, so I at least have to try, y'know?

And to top everything off, I might move back to PR again. Mom says that if things don't get better in the next cpl months we'll simply move back. I don't know what to think of it.

Confusion... It's what reigns most of my life. Oh, well; I'll just sort through it all. I'm gonna stay tough.

Take care, y'all!

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Friday, February 2, 2007

I'm missing school today...
G'morning... it's morning as I write this, but maybe it'll be night time when 'all read it so g'night ^_^.

I feel wasted from last night. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on and what to do next, but the sadness is a lot and I don't know what to do. For my grandfather there is nothing I can do; my dad's going to the funeral in Columbia (he left last night) so I have to wait fo rhim ot come back on Friday. As for Poetry Club... I dunno. I think I'm gonna end up resigning my position as secretary that has now become vice-president (which nobody told me 'cuz I left early). It gives me too much pain to be there and see everyone like this compared to what I knew and cared about them for.

Today I'm skipping school... it's around ten thirty or eleven right now. In the morning, lol. I just woke up a cpl minutes ago. Mom's taking us to a Science Center exhibit called "Our Body" or something like that... I think she wants to distract us and it means a lot to me that she is.

I'm gonna log out now. I'll try and visit y'all later.

Special thanks to Elves Ate My Ramen for her wonderful comments!!! *hugs* Those comments make me feel much better, to know somebody cares.

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Thursday, February 1, 2007

Seems my light only shines when the sun sets outside my bedroom window... (this'll be the start of a poem of mine, just you watch!)
...As some of you may know... my week's sucked, but I'm trying to stay tough. I refused to cry over what happened at school with my classmates (I'm not going to cry because the truth is corrupted into their own versions. It's their loss if they stay ignorant.), but today I cried.

Poetry Club... everyone there saved me. If it weren't for every single one of them, I wouldn't be able to be the way I am around ppl now and I wouldn't be able to feel okay in my skin here in this new place filled with superficial discriminators where I have yet to find a place I feel free.

But they have been fighting so much lately that I feel torn... not between choosing sides, but torn as in hurt. I care so much about every single one of them that to see them constantly at each other... kills me. We're a small group of ppl; those of us there are regular members and have helped the club through its hard times ('cuz believe me, we've had many.). Why is it so hard to keep from being like that with each other?

One thing was Joe (our former president) being impeached today. If the president is being negligent and the officers have to take a stand, I more than understand if a measure like that has to be taken: it's necessary. But another thing was the way it happened... it was so cruel. I was in the classroom with him; I really missed him and wanted to find out how he'd been doing. When I saw them out there in the hallway whispering and stuff as if he would explode at any minute, I felt so...
If you are really going to do something like that for the good of something you care about, I believe you should do it head-on and don't be so predictably cowardly. Stand up for what you believe.

They used that excuse to impeach him because of their own dislikings. It hurt him. It hurt me to see him like that. He left the moment he finished typing up his poem for another member to read. I was the only one he really said good-bye to before he left, and I had no idea what why he did or what would happen when he did. She read the "poem"; I was only half-listening at first (I was trying to figure out his expression), but after a moment it all came crashing down on me. It wasn't a poem; it was his reignation letter. It broke my heart, so before it was even finished I packed my bags and made an excuse to leave. I nearly cried right there and then, but I was able to get away and held myself off until Mom came.

She picked me up earlier than normal, saying there was something important.

A mere cpl seconds after I finished crying like a broken woman over something that could be far worse, what other news do I get but this...

My father's father died today.

If I didn't see death the way I do, I would still be crying as I type this. I'm sad yes, but for my father.
All I can tell myself is that I have to stay strong and tough. I've never been allowed time to cry for long; I have to pick myself up ealier than most would like to. This won't kill me, so I'll make sure it makes me stronger.

But for now... I'm exhausted. I've cried too much today.

Take care, guys.
~Kyra
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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Today was...
Hilo friends. How's all going for y'all?

Me? I must admit that I've seen better days... much better days. I'm in something of a situation right now... I have a feeling this will be a long post.

What do you do when the only way to keep from hurting someone you care about is by hurting yourself in the process? And you know that when you break and can't do it anymore, they'll only blame themselves? You stop it. You stop pretending and tell them the truth. For me... well, he didn't even give me a chance to explain.

So hardly any of my regular friends are talking to me anymore. Neither of them gave a hoot about me since I starting "going out" with him, all of them based my opinion and word in the matter on what he said. I didn't care 'cuz I knew they were gonna hate me in the end, one way or another. I'm used to ppl basing their opinions of me on immature assumptions; it's what high-schoolers do (or so I've figured out -_-).

Thus... they all think I dumped him, but here's a tiny detail: you have to be with someone in order to dump them. If anyone said we were together, it was either his or their assumptions and not within my will. He even said he didn't consider me his girlfriend, so how am I the villain for believing the same?

Even now, everyone's going by what he's saying in anger. I'd more than understand if they didn't know me and I was just some girl from some school that decided to make out with some guy at some party, but I'm not!! I was their friend too, I was a person without him, and I didn't go off with some guy or anything of the sort!!! I'm not like that! Didn't they know me enough to even consider that I don't live by what he says?!

*simmers down* I don't like feeling like this... it messes with my head. But there's nothing I can do about the situation; Mar's trying to convince him to talk to me (he's giving me the cold shoulder), but truthfully, if he talks to me, it'll be just trying to make me "realize" how wrong and evil I am. I'm none of those things he sees me as now. I'm trying to understand that he's hurt, but if he expects me to let him keep doing what he's doing to me (as in turning all my "friends" against me), then he can't expect me to behave rationally either, because I know I did nothing wrong. He'll never see that.

He'll never see that I'm relieved he's mad at me and not himself.

But this too shall pass... and those words have been what's kept me from crying and attacking somebody today.

ja ne!
~Kyra
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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

So yeah... no emicon today.
Well, I must announce that Jiminy is taking a vacation for a little while. That's the cover-up for my exhaustion of typing so much right now ^_^U. So, how are y'all? Good? Bad? No? Maybe so?

This has been a stressing week for me. It seems so much is happenig out of my control sometimes that I just fall over and the world spins above me. I'm trying to get out of this... some of the problems I'm in started 'cuz of me and then took on lives of their own. *shakes head* It's tiring, but I'm gonna make it. I'll make sure that I do.

I'm happy right now, tho! My I-Pod's up and running!! ^o^!!! I don't have too much music in it, but I'm putting stuff together for the next time that I get on my Dad's computer.

Lemme see... What do you guys think of Romeo and Juliet? We're reading it in class. I'm not sure what to think of it and I'm trying to understand what makes it one of the most famous plays of all time (as I've been told it is) besides the ppl talk as if they were singing. I love the way they speak, but the story still has me kinda... how do I say...? Waiting for something better...? Romeo's interesting, but I don't think I like him. I guess you can't blame him for being a lovesick teen (I really houlddn't say anything about that, lol) but it seems that every time he goes off about how wonderful Juliet is I feel he's taking that kind of love too lightly and forgetting the impact words have on people. And Juliet is still young, so I dunno... Benvolio's my favorite. He tries with the best of intentions and, though his advice isn't the best, you know he's trying his best and giving his all to make Romeo feel better. Mercutio's hilarious, although sick-minded and bi-polar (once again, this shouldn't be coming from one who gets annoyed so easily), so he does a good job of providing comic relief. So, now that I think about it, I think I am enjoying the story. Just not the romance. Is that weird, seeing as Romeo and Juliet is a tragic romance ^_^U? I tend to enjoy stuff 'cuz of what lies beneath everything else.

We're at the point where Friar Lawrence is about to marry them. I've been warned that the next act on the older film that we're watching of Romeo and Juliet retains some form of pornography, so I am worried. Oh, well. As if there's none of that in the school halls (hate to admit it, but it's true).

Well, gonna go now. I hope to finish those pics I'm drawing soon, and when I do I'll post them. They're just some of my best yet, so I really want to make sure that they're good before I display them ^_^.

ja ne!
~Kyra
PS=Today was a Tuesday. How was this Tuesday for y'all?
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