Tuesday, December 27, 2005

   MERRY X-MAS!!!!!!!!
Hey, y'all! Wassup?! Tell me how you all are doin'! I love to hear 'bout you guys!
Me, well... I guess I could say I'm good... but let's not talk 'bout that yet! How were all your Christamses?! My dad couldn't be here for our CHristmas, but it was all good, he had fun and didn't get all depressed, which made me feel safe to enjoy it! My bro gave me a HARRY POTTER POSTER!!!!!!!!!!!! I screamed so loud, mom started laughing and took the Scotch Tape out for me. ^_^U Oh, how I used to mock the screamers... and now look what I've become...! My dad sent me some money, and my mom was all like this -_-U "No, I'm not driving all the way to Borders tomorrow..."
But I got four more DNAngel volumes....0_0!!!! That was me ^_^U can you belive I showed my mom this face: ^_^...and she didn't know what it was?! I kept showing her different ones, and she didn't see them!! I think she was slightly embarrassed 'bout it... but I didn't tease her! That would be cruel...*grins evilly*
My dad's on a seven-day trip from California and back to Florida, where I was born. That's why my mom didn't get her Christmas bonus this year, and we couldn't get gifts for my grandfather or his kids...
...This Christmas... scratch that:
...This whole week, I feel I'm relivin' my past all over again. I had a dream the other day that I was in Florida with Tish and Amber, and I was showing them my old house. They took one look at it, and then went on ranting about how cool the other houses were. I wanted them to realize just how much it meant for me to be back there again... to be standing on the ground where I once felt so safe, without a clue I wouldn't ever see things the same way again once I left... but they didn't get it. So I let them go on talk to the owners of the other houses, and I went into my home for the first time in five years. That's the only place I could ever truly call home... Home is where the heart is, ne? My heart's with that house.
I went in, and it was different from how I used to know it. It still had the same "nature" and "earthy" theme my mom had put, with everyhting shades of brown and beige... nothing except for the stairwell was white. But to me... because it wasn't the way I knew it...it was as plain as if there were black sheets over everything. I wandered in farther, searching for my room, or something I knew... to never find it. I kept looking, and looking, and looking... I started to cry silent tears, and the new owner of the house walked in. She told me that there was a curse upon the house, that there was a child screaming and opening and closing boxes and clocks, trying to get her out. I called the woman stupid for being afraid of something like that, because all her box flaps were open, and it was windy season. As for the child screaming... she didn't have to say anythin for me to know that all the years I'd been gone, I'd been cursing her in my mind, and that it had become a reality. I left her in her panic and climbed up the stairs to the office until I saw a clock turning on and off, blinking different hours each time. I smiled and placed my hand on it, and it stopped; I was the only one able to do that. "I think... I would rather let memories be memories, and the present move on without them." that broke the curse, and I went back down to the woman. She was hysterical, and told me to keep the house for myself, that she wanted to move to the PR, and live in my house instead; I shook my head, and told her to keep the house, and to make a new home out of it. I would stop her no longer.
That was my dream. Long, but I woke up on the verge of tears... to top it all off, I just had to tell mom about it, and my bro overheard us, and keeps reminding me of the things that happened back there... I told him to stop reminding me, that I did live there, and he still hasn't stopped. It's not like I expected it to work, I was just very upset and all... Enough about my past. I don't like to talk about it much, because tlaking about it doesn't help. The only way I would relive the past would be if it would help me get over it. My home's changed so much... I wish I could've left my memories the way they were, but my bro convinces my dad every time we go over there to take us to see the house... I don't want to see it again. It hurts...
What's made me depressed is that...I'm worried it's gonna happen again. It will happen again. Because I'm leaving the place I made my new home, and we're leaving... no, not to another city.
I'm moving to Texas.
sayounara.
PS=I like Satoshi now! I liked him from the beginning, he just left me o_0?
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