Friday, June 15, 2007

AHHH I HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!! i always wanna cry or throw something to get my anger out or scream or do something....somethimes i even wanna cut myelf it hurts so bad...and right now most of it is comeing from my mom.....i hate her.....i hate my life and im so confused which makes me cry even more.....i hate my mom and want her to die.....but i dont kno watd id do without her.....she had a boyfriend and hes ok but first off hes an idiot and i hate him only because helives with us and my life is completely out of wack b/c of him......i cant blast my music while my mom is at work b/c hes always sleeping.....he stay in my moms room all day and when my mom gets home she goes strait to her room.....the other day i made dinner for my mom....and him though mostly my mom....she kne i was making it too.....her bf was working outside that day....i had also cleaned all day the house was all clean...well my mom came home and was talking to him and put her purse down about to go over to him...and b/f she started talking to him i had told her dinner was done.....she didnt say anything...anyway when she went to go over to him i slammed the screen door and went in and layed on the living room floor.....she came in and asked "wat" i said nothing and she didnt buy it of course.....i kept saying nothing and she said no come on i came to u first.....and after she said that i wanted to cry and in my head was saying u only came to me first b/c i slammed the door other wise u wouldve completely forgotten about me once again......then id eat dinner by myslef again....oh and then later...and my mom still kne about dinner.....we went in town(cause we live in the country) and at about 8 go mcyd's(my mom gets home at 6:30) so eddie(my moms boyfriend) wins again and i did all i could not to cry while we were in the car on the way to town....god i hate my life i just......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...i dont kno wat i want......i just want the pain to all go away.....but it wont.....ever
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