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Tuesday, February 7, 2006


Ok...
seeing as i know of very few people that can black mail me for this at school or in my family...
i guess you guys should know that i have mentioned the name of my crush on this site already! You remember the time that i called Brain-kun/B-kun (one in the same) a bitch...
well if you did you might remember that name Chris-kun/C-kun...
well...
that is my crush!!! also...
he thinks that the thing that i hate the most about myself...
what makes me cursed...
is cool!?!?!

Hanajima: He must really care about you...
otherwise he would think you were a freak.

Well...
he is into FMA, YYH, and Inuyasha (just to name a few)...
so i can see why he doesn't think i'm a total freak and just shun me for and eteranty...
I know...
i sound like B-kun there!! also...
the waves that have been around me lately are bad...
there have been at least two times that my body has gone nomb from them. I hope Yamiko-chan did not tell him that bit of it...
I haven't even told my parents the yet!!
Added reason for my to be going crazy...
the barn dance is in 17 days, and my friends are trying to get me to either ask him to it...
or write a note to him and give it to him on Valentine's Day. Let me just say that NEITHER is going to happen!!! i don't want to see him get hurt because of my! I know...
i'm not sounding like any character form Naruto at the moment...
but i just can't see him hurt. i can berely live with myself now!!
*stare off into space*
It hurt's so much...
it's getting hard to breath. I'm not saying that i'm depressed...
i just can't can't let my friends get hurt because of my burdens.

Kyo: it's not easy...
protecting some one. you have to give it all that you have in order to help and protect them.

I know that...
you're dealing with some one that has lost so much in under a year. why do you think that i don't want to lose any one again. I hate this! being cursed, while all of those i know are sorrowing ahead, i'm stuck on the ground looking up at them wishing i could join them, but i never will be able to. All because of this curse that i hold. I push everyone i care about to provent their pain, and causing my own. Ok...
I know that you people don't want to hear me going on and on about how my life is, how i'm cursed, and just how i cause myself so much pain to save others from it. but that's just the way things are, and i can't wish for it in a different way.
well...
that's all i wanted say.
*"you raise me up" comes on, cry*
well...
Ja ne

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