Tuesday, January 15, 2008

my sacrifice

"I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to" -Margaret Cho

well guys.
i have something big to tell you.
today i made a big desicion.
i dumped ricky.
i've thought it over a thousand times.
loos sleep and everything.
and the other day, i finally made my decision.
today, i gave ricky the note.
i read it over and over, hoping it sounded good.
i wrote all my thoughts and feelings on that note.
"here i stand once again, dissapointed in love" ~beautiful mess-eclectic collective
and now you see why i wrote that post....

=HERE WITHOUT YOU=3 DOORS DOWN=
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me
Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

=====================================================

~FANFICTION~

"Hey Roy!" a black haired man with glasses called over the doorstep to his best friend's house. He was knocking on the wooden door hard. "Open up, Roy!!"
The younger man opened the door, a sort of groggy look on his face. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his pointer finger. "Hughes?"
"Hey! Roy!" Maes thumped his hand on Mustang's shoulder, "You look tired."
"It's 7:30 in the morning, Maes! It's my day off. Of course I-"
"It's your birthday Roy!" Hughes interrupted quickly, grinning at his friend. "Why wouldn't I be up to see you?"
Roy looked slightly surprised by this. "I forgot..."
"YOU FORGOT IT WAS YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY?!" the other man yelled. His glasses slipping dangerously down to the bridge of his nose as he flung his hands up in disbelief.
"I... I guess i did..." Mustang said a little heasitantly. He blinked, taking a breif second to soak in what just happened. "Come in" he said finally, opening the door wide and stepping inside. Without a second thought the older man waltzed in. Since Roy's house was like a second home, not counting the office of course, he made himself comfortable with making a pot of coffee.
"Hurry up and go get dressed, Roy" Hughes started for Mustang stood before him in his blue paw-print pajama pants and a white tank top, "I have a surprise for you!"
"Ok..." Roy said sleepily. He refused to argue, stumbling over his boots as he shuffled to his room to change. Maes had to stifle a laugh when he saw it happen from the corner of his eye.
Soon the two men were sitting at the little round table in the kitchen. Roy had just finished eating an apple and banana, taking a sip of his coffee.
"This is strong, Hughes."
"Trust me, buddy, you'll need it" the other replied.
"Great..." Mustang said, a touch of sarcasm to his tone. He stirred the creamy tan liquid in his cup. Maes just smiled.
Not long after they were in Hughes' car. The excited man drove like it was going out of style; in other words, really really fast. At some of the turns Roy clung to his seat just to keep from flying sideways.
"Oh, I can't wait Roy!" He said, taking another turn.
"For what, dare i ask?" Mustang questioned cautiously.
"For you two to come and play with Elicia! She's grown so much! I mean-" Roy sighed softly, listening to the usual antics about his friend's family. "You won't have and excuse not to visit more often!"
Roy pondered about what Maes just said. 'Two of you?'
"Let me ask you somthing" He continued his thoughts suddenly, interupting Hughes' refreshed rant of Elicia on her tricycle.
"Sure, buddy" Hughes answered, looking rather confused at the outburst.
"You didn't adopt a kid for me, did you?"
Maes burst out laughing, tears welling up in his green eyes. It was Roy's turn to look confused.
"I'm not telling you, but you could say it's along those lines." He paused, laughter still stinging at his throat. "Like i said before, you'll have no excuse not to visit now!" Roy looked worried, beside himself. What did his best friend mean?
After a few beats of silence, someone finally spoke.
"We're almost there, Roy..." Mustang felt his heart race, his stomach lurching with anticipation. He felt his whole body go cold and his hands started to shake slightly. His thoughts raced frantically through his head but all the while his facial expression remained the same old calm Colonel. Just then the car came to a hault.
"Here we are!" Hughes chimed happily. Roy looked out the window. He couldn't help but chuckle quietly at himself with relif and shame. Why did he over-react like that?
"That's just FullMetal's house, Maes..."
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