Tuesday, April 3, 2007

   All nighter
It's 7:48 a.m. not slept a wink tried, I closed my eyes, just couldn't sleep. Cat was sort of a problem so I put her out in the garage. Watched this movie I think it was called SLC Punk, or somethin it was on HBO starred Matthew Lillard, ya know the guy that played shaggy, anyway...it was about punks and anarchists and stuff and about his life and how he learned stuff, it really intrigued me for some reason. Ghost in the Shell was upsetting but it's just reruns hahah. Wow, I'm sorta rambling. But I guess that's what I made this thing for. After staying in my room most of yesterday I wanna go out and be an active part of society today...maybe try and make new friends, ha that's a laugh. Ya just never know who you can trust...ever lol. I'm prolly gonna take a shower or something eventually before I go out and do whatever, just wish I had someone to do something with...I think I sound kinda pathetic haha. Ummm...I feel like I'm talkin to myself, I don't like all this hot weather it's drivin me nuts. Chance of rain tonight though so it's all good, got school tomorrow though sort of a buzz kill. I am goin to the Chili Cook-off saturday before church tho so I guess it's all good. Sorta can't wait for June maybe even next month I feel kinda bad bc I may be starting a new job. I want one, but I also want this time off, to visit friends, go to my cousin's wedding, and of course AMA's comin' up. Been drinkin' green tea lately, diet blech, but it's not bad tasting, drinking that and the propel water stuff. Plus, the occasional soda, I need to start eating more again too. I think this post may take up half the page....I guess I need a life, I need friends...ppl i can hang with and maybe trust just a little bit..mostly just a life though lol. I gotta think of what to do today, gotta think of ways to stay awake haha. I know so many ppl, but the time i spend with them is just online...how annoying is that...I wish ppl would visit me more, but now that my dad's been staying home sorta to try to land this new job it's a bummer. Why am I worrying about other crap? I still got classes, and Finals next month before I may be leaving if I can get the time off from the job and all that. lol, my parents think it's ludacris for me to leave but it would be important to me, i wanna get away for a bit, sorta be free if just for a few days. hoo..umm...let's what else to talk about...I guess the money from that job would be helpful. But getting the time off I need would be helpful for me and somewhat crucial. It's the little things that cheer me up. If I just had about 3 and a half grand I'd be set, to pay my parents and get a new tv. Then this whole mess wouldn't be a problem at all. The dillema where to get that money lol. Well i guess a steady income would help my parents pay for my gas and insurance also. This house is almost paid off i think. It's almost 10 after 8 now, I've been writing quite a bit, and still not everything's off my mind...I'd like to thank all of those that have been there for me, I've been having to deal with stupid stuff like feeling lonely. I doubt any if any of you are reading this you've prolly given up but I'm still not done yet. Sorry...well, I've been delaying saying this, while I was stuck in my room, well made myself stuck, I practiced guitar most of the time. *yawn* I wish they'd put shows I like back on the air like monster garage, and monster house. Those were fun, been watchin most of viva la bam lately, and the unholy union thing, wonderin if they're gonna include missy now in viva la bam lol. Still unsure of my future, girls are somewhat of a mystery to me still. There's one thing I do know however, there are all different types of ppl be they male or female, with likes and dislikes, fitting the stereotype or not. So I'm thinkin' maybe there's a girl out there for me, and we'll hit it off, it'll be more than just some doomed tragic romance. I've had skepticism about myself, but I don't find it impossible. Maybe i just think i'm still a lil young and inexperienced but i don't think she'll care...i just need to get out more i think. What do I kno though...I think i need a nap lol man I've written alot. Maybe eat more too, take a bath finish up some anime lol. Maybe see what's on the schedule for tv today haha. But I'm gonna try to get out and do something i don't care what it is as long as i don't stay in this house. Yeah...I think I'm gonna for now peace out y'all I'll prolly be on tonight if anyone really cares ha...
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