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• Julia

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myOtaku.com: TricksterQueik


Sunday, November 2, 2003

why? i mean, i love him so much, well i think i do, what with all the bloody mind fucking with emotions doesn't help me, but still, it's confusing, we don't talk too much, and there's only a few things between us that are little nothing, i'm too fucking Idealistic, mother fuck. and i'm developing something for her now. that's bad. i mean, i know she's not bisexual or a lesbian, so i know nothing will happen, i mean, i've had crushes on nearly al of the girls i'm friends, and i still have little ones clinging onto me. i want so despreately for her to have someone, if not me then the one that she likes, i want to make him see that she's an awesome person and that she's likes him. oi, and mine, he's just confsuing, nothing will happen, i'm sure of it, it just felt good. it feels god. being able to hugglesomeone, someone to sleep on and cuddle wiht. but it sometimes feels like so much more to me, but deep down i know it's nothing at all, and never will be, and it makes me somewhat depressed. and then the anal-retentive bastard and Co. won't stop pissing me off, i'm so close to breaking down for no rela reason. it's just my head. and i don't wana tell the people that i care about, they prolly won't want to know what i'm thinking b/c it's stupid. stupid stupid julia. fuck you. gahhhhh. hate hate. i want him the most, i want her to be happy, and i want the longest crush of all to have someone to love her and cherish her, b/c she deserves it. oi, not like anyone cares what i want anyway.
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