Sunday, March 25, 2007

   I just felt like typing, again
I was originally going to write this entry in my Gaiaonline profile, but my computer doesn't take kindly to the site, for some reason :s . It work for a short time yesturday, but then died, when I tried to access my journal. stating that I didn't even have one, which is obvisouly a mistake, since I type alot more in there, than I do in here, sorry (*sweat*).
Right now, I'm am listening to 1/2 from R.K., which is on my music list below.

The real reason why I was going to type right now, is because a few moments ago, I was watching Samurai Champloo on Adult Swim; the epidsode where they meet up with the traveling blind preformer, Sara; And when she mentioned to Fuu about what she is going to do when her journey ends, it reminded me that my journey will be ending soon, I mean that I going to graduate from high school in 3 months.

I've also been going through some tough times, since my mom past away in January. It hasn't been the same since. Yes, I have my dad and my sister, but still my mom was speacial to me. I could easily talk and joke around with her, and I miss that dearly. I've become more quiet, and been keeping my thoughts to myself, well not completly to meself :), I still voice my opion.
I'm still adjusting to things, and I wonder, if I will ever really adjust to things, to were I can completely enjoy things again.
At times it still feels completely surreal to me, and I wish it was a dream. But I know it is not, but the wish is still there.

My 18th birthday is next sunday, and even more so, I think of my mother.
I think about how she only lived eighteen years after I was born, and it's alittle saddening to think that she only lived that much with me and my sister (who is three years younger than I am).
I ponder on what I will do next with my life, what will happen next and how I will react to it?
I'm going to be an adult soon. What will I do? Yes, I already decided to go to college, but which one? I know that my decision is crucial, for where I decede to go will shape my life, I mean the experaince and people that I will encounter. I worry about making the right choice. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

This is were I come back to Champloo, on that my journey as a child, and a high school student will end; and i will begin a new one. I think about the series as a general, were all three of the characters go on this journey, encountering the good times and bad, and how they real did enjoy one anothers company; and I think of my friends.
Of the wonderful times we've had together, that I wish would never end, just like Fuu in a way. Of all the times we've hanged out together, how it feels so invincealbe. of the trials we've gone through together, and over come. Of really knowing the feeling and love of true friends. It feels so good, and I cherish the time we have together. what will happen to use after we graduate? I want to keep in contact with all of them.
I wonder what life will bring me next? I hope it's something good, cause need some uplifting.

Random thought: I'm listening to "Classmate", form Strawberry Marshmellow. i love this song and series.

I feel alittle bit better now that I have typed what is on my mind. Well except for my hand, which is still throbing, from earlier where it started to hurt randomly, to were I couldn't move it much. It still stings alittlle bit to type this, and now my back is starting to hurt. I think from sitting for to long. Sorry for my complaints (*8weat*).

Well it's getting late, so i better (wait a minute *light bulb moment*) it's already late, woops; Well I better get going, before it gets EVEN later.
Take care for now, thanks for hearing (or should I say reading) me out. Thank you.
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