Thursday, November 8, 2007

today we have off. yay! funfun. yesterday i went to art class and afterwards, jenna, olga, vicky and i went to on the border and had tacos, and then we went to the mall cause olga and jenna needed to get lauren her b-day present. it was fun. there's this jacket at dealias that i really like, so i'm gonna take my mom there tomorrow. and i have a gift card to there that never used. and they have good jeans. so today i'm goin over to mi pops and then to laurens party. yay! l8ers really long rpg cliches of the day: # Hey, I Know You! You will accumulate at least three of these obligatory party members: * The spunky princess who is rebelling against her royal parent and is in love with the hero. * The demure, soft-spoken female mage and healing magic specialist who is not only in love with the hero, but is also the last survivor of an ancient race. * The tough-as-nails female warrior who is not in love with the hero (note that this is the only female character in the game who is not in love with the hero and will therefore be indicated as such by having a spectacular scar, a missing eye, cyborg limbs or some other physical deformity -- see The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly Rule.) * The achingly beautiful gothy swordsman who is riven by inner tragedy. * The big, tough, angry guy who, deep down, is a total softy. * The hero's best friend, who is actually much cooler than the hero. * The grim, selfish mercenary who over the course of the game learns what it means to really care about other people. * The character who is actually a spy for the bad guys but will instantly switch to your side when you find out about it. * The weird bonus character who requires a bizarre series of side quests to make them effective (with the ultimate result that no player ever uses this character if it can be avoided.) * The nauseatingly cute mascot who is useless in all battles. # Hey, I Know You, Too! You will also confront/be confronted by at least three of these obligatory antagonists: * The amazingly good-looking and amazingly evil long-haired prettyboy who may or may not be the ultimate villain. * The villain's loyal right-hand man, who comes in two versions: humorously incompetent or annoyingly persistent. * The villain's attractive female henchman, who is the strongest and most competent soldier in the army but always lets the party escape because she's, yes, fallen in love with the hero. * Your former ally who supposedly "died" and was forgotten about, until much later in the game when he/she shows up again on the villain's side and full of bitterness. * The irritatingly honorable foe whom you never get to kill because, upon discovering the true nature of his superiors, he either nobly sacrifices himself or joins your party. * The insane clown or jester who will turn out to be surprisingly difficult to subdue. * The mad scientist who likes creating mutated creatures and powerful weapons 'cause it's fun (and also handy if uninvited adventurers show up.) * The adorably cute li'l creature or six year old child who fights you and, inexplicably, kicks your butt time after time. # Hey, I Know You, Three! Furthermore, expect to encounter most of the following obligatory non-player chararcters (NPCs): * The townsperson or crewmember who wanders aimlessly in circles and never quite gets where he is going. * Hilariously incompetent or cowardly soldiers. * The NPC who has a crush on another NPC and can't quite work up the nerve to tell him or her, so instead tells every other person who wanders by about it at great length. * A group of small children playing hide-and-seek. * The wise and noble captain/king/high priest. * The wise and noble captain/king/high priest's splutteringly evil second-in-command. Nobody, including the hero, will notice the second's constant, crazed scheming until the moment when he betrays everyone to the forces of badness. * The NPC who is obsessed with his completely mundane job and witters on endlessly about how great it is. He's so thrilled by it that he wants to share it with everyone he sees, so given a quarter of a chance he'll make you do his job for him. * The (adult) NPC who has nothing better to do than play kids' games with passersby. * The group of young women who have formed a scarily obsessive fan club for one of your female party members.

Comments (1)