Wednesday, October 3, 2007

	411 Name: Kitty. Age: 18. Birthday: January 30th. Currently: Texas Education: G.E.D. Currently Reading: American Psycho Email: [Link] Myspace: [Link] Hobbies: Technology, what few friends I have, Reading, and Dancing. Hates: Alot of shit. Mainly fakes. MSN: Atheist_Kitten@hotmail.com AIM: My Bloodydeath13 & Tehvampirekitty Links Backroom Guestbook Add Message Portfolio King Char-Char [Charles] Randy Music Currently Playing: Ein Lied By: Rammstein Credits Aethereality.net Index Stock.com Hybrid-Genesis.com			Intro February 16th 2008 So I figured I would use an already made layout. I just don't have time right now to make it myself. Other wise I so would have. Plus it's pretty. Anywayz. Please sign my guestbook if you stop by for the first time. Even though I have a few rules. They are below. I don't know how often I will update. I will try for everyday, but considering school and the fact I am actually reading a book, I may not be able too. Have a nice day. Peace. Kitty Rules Sign more than 1 fucking line in my guestbook. Visit me and I will visit you. Don't fuck with me. Last but not least, if you hate me, don't tell me you do. I don't really care if you do. Post CURRENT Day: Oct. 3rd Days Left till Halloween: 28 Days Left till Randy gets out: 22 Time typed: ~8:30 Mood: Read whole post. -_- Ok So I am back in my wonderful Depression again. This really sucks. I try and try to be happy, then I look at my MSN Messenger and see Randy's Screen names and then go through my phones contacts and see Randy's number and then I can't stop crying. I rally am losing it. I miss him so much and I don't want it to hurt so much. I don't feel like I have a reason to wake up anymore. All I wanna do is sleep and cry. Since Randy went to jail I lost ~13 pounds. I don't weigh that much to begin with and its not good that I'm losing weight. I do my make-up and by the time I get home after school I have black tear stains. I try and try to act happy at school, but I have given up on tha a lil. Now I only act happy when I'm either A) Around alot of people OR B) Not completely Zoned out of my mind and the teacher is near. I guess I'm become "emoer" than usually. I cut down on smoking, but I'm not gunna quit. I'm still cutting though. I found something that cuts my skin, witch lemme tell you wasn't easy. So yeah. King Char-char [LOL] has been helping me out lately. I'm losing Steven again, but he is so set on the fact that I don't need him and that he isn't good enough for me. So all I can do is try, right? I don't wanna have to wait 22 more days for Randy to get out, but I guess I don't really have a choice. He is on my mind day and night. I remember our conversation so well. Sometimes I catch myself talking to myself now. I think I may need to go to a mental Institution, but I can't bring myself to go to one. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone. Like I've been chained to a chair and forced to just watch it all end again. [I won't explain what I mean by again, if you don't know too fucking bad.] I feel so alone and empty again. My eyes haven't been lying lately. They have been empty, hollow looking, just like me. They don't have the shine that use to be there when I talked to Randy. They don't have any beautiful color. They are just back to the Dark Gray-Green shade they use to be. I don't know anymore. I'm losing it. And the worst part is, I knew this was going to happen again. I'm going now. Peace. Princess Kitty. Designed by Aethereality.net

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