Sunday, April 4, 2004

   Turkey's angsty post #24601
Wow, I was really grouchy on my last post. Lack of sleep makes a light-hearted comment sound like a selfish snap.

Adam, bless you for creating My Otaku.
This has been the ultimate stress reliever I've ever seen! Now, if only I managed to get enough energy to post a happier topic one of these days...

Now, on to my latest tale of woe:

I used to have a friend, who I shall call Dory. Well, Dory and I didn't really talk to each other much, until a few months ago, at a party. There, we kinda started talking under the stars, and we became friends. I also started developing a crush on her, which subsided due to certain circumstances which I might post someday.

This year, it seemed like she liked me back, due to the way she looked and talked to me. I felt in her a unique, carefree personality, which drew me to like her more. For Valentine's Day, I gave her a custom-made gift, which she really liked.

During March and April, I decided it was time to ask her out. First time, she had a school trip (I had forgotten about it, but it was a real excuse).

The second time (a week later), I called her early in the week, and she told me that I should call her later on the week, just in case anything happened. At this point, I was sure that she would've said yes. There was a party on the weekend, so I decided to meet her there. Stuff happened, and I couldn't go.

The third time, it was 2 days ago. Here's our conversation:
Dory- "Look, I don't want to go out with you."
Me- "Well, why didn't you tell me before?"
Dory- "I didn't expect you to be so persistent."
.
.
.
.
That is where all the good things I thought about her died. The problem wasn't her saying "no". I would have still been her friend. No, the problem lies in her attitude when she said it. The coldness in her words didn't even hide a despise she felt for me. I never expected her to be such a two-faced beast. She enjoyed playing me around, and dumping me once she had her fun.

Right now, I feel like crap. All my desire for a social life went down the drain, and I don't even feel like going to the last few class activities before we graduate (like the Prom).

She was one of the few reasons I even cared about the class, and, as far as I'm concerned, I can live happily without having to look at her manipulative face again.
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Monday, March 29, 2004

Friends can really suck sometimes.
Sometimes, I wonder why I consider my best friend to be so. He really manages to piss me off like nobody else can. Basically, you can't really talk to him without him saying how he "doesn't care".
Eventually, that really gets on your nerves, especially when you try to have a good conversation with him.

I still remember how he, a few months a go, almost made me punch him (I haven't hit someone since 7th grade).
He asked me if I took a girl's looks into consideration. I simply answered yes. He then proceeded to talk about how I was shallow, and didn't care about a girl's personality. I tried to clarify, but that seemed too hard for him to understand.
In the end, I just told him that he really offended me, and he shut up.

I really want to give him a well-deserved smack right now, but I don't wanna ruin our friendship, especially since he's been a great friend most of the time. However, I feel that I'm going to explode one of these days.

...Oh God, I don't know what to do...
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004

   It's amazing how a week can change your life...
Heh...I expected to post here at least once a week, but I find myself posting with the frequency of an Offspring member.

A few weeks ago, I was sick and took a whole week off from school. During that time, I searched for info about my decision on going to an art school. In the end, I learned a lot of stuff I hadn't even heard about. All those things led me to change my course of study. I'm enrolling a state college, and learning Computer Science.
I'm still as focused (if not more) into getting a job at the Game Industry, but I've learned of the importance of knowing how to program. This has made for quite an exciting few weeks.

Also, more recently, a good friend of mine finally changed for the better. She was, for lack of better words, a snobbish slut. However, for reasons beyond my understanding, she turned over a new leaf since last week. After 2 years, she's finally acting like the person I became friends with, and I'm really happy for her. In fact, me (and all her other old friends) have made sure her reputation is cleaned as fast as possible.

I don't really know how should I close this post, so I'll just type the lyrics to a song which makes me always feel nostalgic:

Deep inside my eye, there is part of you
You still look the same, though you're upside down
So much time has passed since i saw you last...

An apple pie, the number pi, I studied you in math class
I did all my work but never got your digits...

Take a number like 5, times 10, times 10 again!
500 miles of apple orchards to defend!

Deep inside my core, there is part of you
You still look the same, though you're grown up now
Why are you still in my eye? will your memory ever die?

An apple tree, a family tree, we'll plant ours together
The roots will hold forever and forever...

What can i say? I won't delay, I'm leaving today
500 miles of apple orchards in my way...

A Macintosh, a Macintosh, you messaged me all winter
I wrote replies but still felt like a loser...

Pack an apple to eat, go hit the street, get on your feet!
500 miles of apple orchards 'til we meet!

I'm taking a stand , with apple in hand I pull up my sleeve !
It's time that I make like an apple tree and leave!
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Tuesday, January 13, 2004

   Kicked out of my own family...
Wow....I never thought that this would lead me to lose sleep. Maybe letting it all out will help me deal with it.

Many years ago, when I was 5, my parents divorced. Since I was so young, I grew up and got used to this. I always thought that they were still friends, and I never bothered to understand what had happened. But that's another story for another day.

Fast-foward to last Fall. After finally discovering that video game design is what I wanna do with my life, I went to tell my parents. While my Mom has been supportive of my decision, my Dad hasn't. I didn't really mind, since I thought that he would eventually understand, and even grow to respect my choice.

Man was I wrong...

Early November, my Mother gave me the news that he hired a lawyer to get my custody. To this day, he hasn't talked to me abou that. Weeks later, my Aunt confirmed that Mom was telling the truth.

But that isn't the end of it. On December, shortly before I left for San Antonio (where my Mom is moving), she gave me the news of a contract that he made: [i]If my Mother leaves Puerto Rico, and I stay here, the custody is transfered to him.[/i] He has already told me multiple times of his desire of me becoming an engineer, which is not what I want. If he earns my custody, he will make me study to become one. My mom's main reason for moving to San Antonio is because her local contract is about to end, and she has been offered jobs over there. Now she has to wait until May, since I still haven't finished my Senior year.

This leads me to my problem. Ever since I got those news, my whole life has gone to hell. I can't look at him without feeling anger, and a desire to tell him everything. My mother has tried to talk to him about this, but he ignores her. I know that I have to do something, to make him understand.

So please, I'm going crazy over here! I really need some advice before I do something stupid and end up destroying this family. My father is a very brash person, and will probably disown me or something. Yes, I know this sounds exagerated, but I wouldn't exactly put it past him.
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Tuesday, January 6, 2004

Here I am at 5:14AM (I'm staying in Texas till January 11), and still waiting for my latest render to finish loading. It's already been 18 minutes, and not even 1/4 of the image is complete. If I didn't love art so much, I would've closed it and gone to sleep.
Oh wait, I'm not tired! How can I sleep?

Anyway, this is only the second of three images that are going to a competition. I'll be heading a pretty expensive college, thus, plenty of money is required. Since I hate writing essays, I just participate in as many art competitions as I can. Assuming I were to win them all, I would have enough to pay for all school expenses for 2 years, and still have enough left to throw a huge party.

When I think of it that way, I don't really feel that frustrated with the slowness of my PC. After all, it'll all be worth it in the end.

I hope you took the time to read this, and I hope even more you took the time to write a comment.
Hey it's been 2.5 years! I need to start being a part of this community!
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