Sunday, December 11, 2005

"Love Song"- KoRn
I had a rough morning, my head kicked in to it's normal state and made me think about things that trouble me. I was in this depressed state throughout church because I think my head was right about something.. and now my chest hurts. I picked up the new KoRn cd (See you on the other side) and I think the song I like most is "Love Song", here's the chorus:
Love song for the dear departed
Head stone for the broken hearted
Arm's to kill
Or flowers to steal
Head-drift for the mortal hurt bound
One sip of the blood that i found
Lying here
Im dying here
----------------
i like the way it sounds, overall i like the new cd.. but i'm too down now for anything, have a good one you guys, i hope you have a better day than i usually do, take care.
-Brian-



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Monday, December 5, 2005

"Skeptic"- Chevelle
Feeling more meloncholy than I did in my last post.. You see, I have a wicked imagination (that goes for both, it works incredibly well, but it's also evil cuz it likes to hurt me, but anyway) I can put together these awesome pictures in my head, and eventually i went to draw and put them on paper, but i seem to forget that the ability to draw what's in my head onto a piece of paper, isnt there.. which gets me depressed. and then from there, my brain takes over.. it isnt pretty.. at any rate, let's pretend im ignorant to my problems and change the subject..

hmm.. umm... uh... you know what, im just not into it right now, later..

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Friday, December 2, 2005

"Holy Mountains"- System of a Down
It's been a while since I last posted, but I'm not a man of many words with so many people I dont know, so get over it (unless your my friend, then I'm just kidding).
You know, there's not much good on late on night when you've seen what adult swim is playing already.. I'm watching the twilight zone (and my account name has no affiliation or connection to this show) Which reminds me, when I was in 7th grade, me and two other guys did our own twilight zone rendition of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" (I played Rod Serling and I did the voice of the raven, which was actually just a statue.. and incidently, the raven's voice sounded similar to Zorak from Space Ghost, i didnt mean for it to be that way, thats just what happened) (wow, that last side note was really long).. and uh.. yea, we totally rocked.. Hey, for those of you curious, the episode of the twilight zone on is "The Fear", such an alluring title, i think ill watch it.
Talking about that movie from seventh grade makes me feel like talking about the movie we just did last year, except the cast was much larger (Me, LP25, Loudmusicrocks15, and 3 other people who for sum reason dont have an account on this syt) anywho.. we made an action rendition of Guy de Maupassant's "The Necklace". It was really something else. For some reason, the movie revolved more around me, Mr. Loisel, the most.. perhaps I was the best actor, and most crowd gathering one too.. who knows. LP25 (as you know him) did most of the camera work, so he didnt get to show off his incredible acting talent.. well, acll but one scene actually.. he played an old butler who hobbled as he walked, but nothing else, but still, it was freakin hilarious. At any rate, we made Mr. Loisel a government employed hitman (thus giving our movie it's action) and we had alot of fun making the movie, you guys out there should try it if you havent.
Well, that episode of the twilight zone was as corny as the rest. Turns out it was aliens, teeny tiny aliens who hid themselves, and when the humans were around, left clues about that made it seem like they were actually giants, but they failed and the human guy pulled out his gun and shot the giant monster they had set up, and it was just a balloon. Aliens were my second guess, my first was the Jolly Green Giant.. oh well
Well, I guess I was wrong about long posts, tho this post has been about nothing pertinant to my current life, just reminising (spell check that?). SOOO.. um.. thinking..
I think I'm done for the night, express your thoughts on anything I just said, or not give a crap and ignore me like a jerk. I'm easily hurt you know, I notice when another person visits my syt (i keep tab on numbers) and if there isnt a comment for every extra visit, I'll be hurt.. kinda..

A neat pic I found sumwhere, so I nabbed it..

I'm done talking. I want to go eat. Have a good one you guys, later (2:18am)
-Twi.Fi.-
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

"Eaten Up Inside"- Korn
So how many people tried their luck this morning to nab an xbox 360? My brother woke me up this morning and drug me out there to Kingston so we could stand out in the cold rain and mak small talk with other people as stupid as we are. To save the suspence of the story, I'll say it now: we did NOT get one. Now back to the story, we were in line behind this woman in her 30's and her neice around my age i guess. The woman was crazy funny, she kept talking about beating up people with her pink and white fight against breast cancer umbrella. Oh, and as soon as we got there, there was this little fat 12 year old kid sitting there like "you guys have to sign the paper, we have a list", so we walked right by him cuz I dont take orders from a fat twelve year old who should be getting ready for school. Seriously, as soon as I saw kids in line in front of me I turned to that woman and said "should little fat punks like him be in school or something?" and she said "that, or getting themselves beaten with my umbrella and not getting their xbox anyway." we made fun of alot of people for a while, it was great. so the four of us (me, me bro, that woman and her neice) stuck together to all the stores we went searching through. overall tho, it sucked and a waste of a morning.
in other news, i went to test the prescriptions on my glasses today and my eyes have changed yet again, but my insurance wont cover a new frame until next year so all I could get was a lens change.. LAME... i hate my glasses, they look too smart for me.
oh well.. I dont feel like talking about feelings and such emotion related things right now so I'm done now, ttyl, bye.

bloody blade (if this isnt bloody enough for you kate, I'll find a better one) lol
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Thursday, November 17, 2005

I have such a headache..im having so many problems right now with, what feels like everything. I went back to the school yesterday to talk with Ron yesterday cuz something about my dad had been bugging me the night before and not letting me sleep. So I went and had a chat with him, during which, i started tearing up (which sucked, cuz he's never seen me like that before, but anyway) it was a bit of a talk that I needed to have with someone with a neutral stand point and biblically sound knowledge. After I finished with him, Danny showed up so me and him stayed the rest of the day there. After school, the rain picks up and the ride to my house is kinda harsh, but i fell asleep for that part cuz I hadnt slept for 13 hours b4 then... but when we get to my house, I currently have no key and nobody else was home. We tried all the doors and windows, but got nuthin except freaking soaked. We tried teaching my dog how to open the back door (and handle you crank downwards) and she actually jumped up and landed her paw on it (though she was just using it for balance cuz i was trying to get her to jump up, and she got that part) but darn my back door handle doesnt twist when locked.. go figure. So as we are soaking wet, my sister calls and sez mom wants the drains cleared out cuz they would flood our street. Sure enough, the street was starting to flood because the sewage drains on the sides were clogged with leaves, so we got shovels and went out to clear the drains. After that, back on the back porch we were and we hear this huge crackling and a thud. I first checked my backyard and saw nothing, but then in my neighbors yard had fallen what looked to be maybe a 20-30 feet of tree across their driveway, and the brush and stuff ended no more than 5 feet from their cars. Anyway, we were stuck outside in the cold (we werent leaving my house cuz the rain was hard, wind was crazy) and we were on my back porch for over an hour b4 anyone got home, soaked to the bone and freezing. So ended up staying the night cuz we werent feeling too well after that. I past out around 7, and missed out on talkin to kate last night (she's got a timer on her s/n and only gets one hour,so I really like talking to her whenever I can) and she'd probly be the only person online i'd talk to, cuz danny was already over, so i could talk with him right there.
At any rate, my head has been killing me with thinking and I feel like I'm falling apart. Every thought turns bad and hurts, and I'm not feeling comfort from anything. I'm so tired of everything.. I just need something..


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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Wow, I was going to post something really long and complex about our emotions and souls and what not, it was at least an hours worth of thinking, but I erased it all and changed my mind cuz it diffuted my current mood and I wouldnt have anything to post aside me trying to sound smart when I was actually in a very sulky mood. And now that I've erased my thinking and I'm no longer sulky.. I'm left with nothing to post... aheheh.. I'm not very smart sumtimes..
All I have to say regarding how I was earlier was about how the smallest thought play affect to my mood, and that I find it annoying to myself that I cannot stop myself from thinking myself into harm's way... at any rate, I'll leave y'all with another cool anime pic, and a "goodnight"

Chrno Crusade was so cool, it touched abit into religion, which worried me for a while where they were trying to go with the idea they were bringing across.. but they didnt seem to make a closing point, which was probably the safest way for them to go without making contraversy.. tho it was a bit edgy sumtimes, but overall I liked it.
Well, thats all.. g'night
-Sasuke (as InuyashaFan1204 would call me) the rest of you can call me Brian..orwhatever floats your boat.. duznt matter i guess.. goodnight
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Tuesday, November 8, 2005

I can't remember what the turning point was, but on the night of my last post, that depressed state I was in lifted, and since then I haven't really had a mood. I'm what I used to be like.. sort of. I can't really explain it, nor do I want to think about it. I'm doing ok now, and for once, I'm not going to push myself for an answer.
Anyway, I missed a meeting with my recruiter a lil while back, but he never called me the day we were having it, and he isnt returniny my calls.. so I'm thinking maybe he went on vacation or something, but if he did then he did so without returning my first call cuz he changed his answering machine message when I made my second call.. but anyway, I guess it cant be helped.
I hope I get to do something this week with someone cuz they all have the rest of the week off of school, so I hope dearly that I can visit sum ppl. I know Joe wants me to visit him on the weekend.. we'll probably just play Smash Bros together like we always do. But I want to visit with sum other friends during the week, very much so I do.
I guess I don't have much else to think about right now. I'll just post a pic and say goodnight.

This pic is so awesome,I'm happy I found it.
I guess thats all, goodnight everyone
--Brian-- (4:03AM)
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Thursday, November 3, 2005

   Breakdown
when will this end?
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Everything Burns- Ben Moody
I guess I dont really have much to say.. i just wish i knew the answer to my questions.. i just feel like a problem waiting for it's effect to kick in.. i just feel horrible sometimes..

--------------------------------
"everything burns" -Ben Moody & Anastacia

(Anastacia)
She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone a stray
But she will sing

(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns

(Anastacia)
Ooh, oh

(Ben Moody)
Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings

(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns

(Ben Moody & Anastacia)
Til everything burns
Everything burns
(Everything burns)
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
(Watching it all fade away)
Oooh, ooh
(While everyone screams)
Burning down lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this hate)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
(Oooh, ooh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away

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Sunday, October 30, 2005

Closure- Chevelle
Breathe, trust, bless me and release,
Climb, hard or never be seen.
Closed off, rescue to breathe.
Just bless me.

Two sided time,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, the pain.

Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.

Had to to turn, lay down,
Your sting of disease.
Phase you out, should've seen this coming.
Go on confusing the soul,
Hold my breath 'til you rupture.

Three days aside,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, pride.

Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.

Like a leach,
I hold on as if we belonged,
To some precious pure dream.
Cast off, you've seen what's beneath,
Now fail me.

Forget closure,
Forget closure,
Forget closure,
Forget closure.

Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.


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