Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Now Its Done- Straylight Run
Me thinks Ive gotten worse again. Im not sure if I made a mistake in doing something I did. Circumstances are painful right now though... I feel pathetic and horrible.. I dont know what to think or to say anymore.
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

hm, havent posted in a while.. um lets see here. ok, looking at my last post, I'd say i wasnt feeling to highly at the moment, so I'll start out by saying: im better now.

anyway, the past week has been vbs (for those of you who dont know, thats Vacation Bible School, where we get a bunch of children from around the town and have a bunch of activites set up for them, and it gives us a chance to witness to them too...) right, I was supposed to help out during game-time, but alot of people were helping game-time, so i decided i will give myself free-time until sum1 tells me what to do. so i get to spend alot of time with kate, grace, and mr rabe (they led in music) and i had alot of fun with them. aside from them, phil (grace's bro) followed me around everywhere, so spent alot of time with him too.

ever since i announced to everyone that i was leaving to the air force is that i see how much impact i have on others. its something i wish i could have seen before, or maybe its something that just started because i announced i was leaving?... i dunno...

heh, i had fun at vbs, there was this other guy there a couple years younger than me who was getting jealous that all the girls love my hair. so i told him we'd have a competition everyday to see who's hair grabbed more attention. and from the start, i knew that i wouldnt have to do anything and still win, but i decided I'd really rub it in his face that he loses hands down. so on the third day of vbs (it lasts a week), i came in with part of my hair in dreads.. and from what all the girls told me, i was "sweet/hot/awesome/sick" (etc...) heh, so that was fun.

something im trying to figure out is how we "love" in a Christian way (im talking love, boyfriend girlfriend stuff). cuz, we pledge our lives to God, and rely on Him with our decisions and choices. and yet, when we fall in love, that is based solely on our own feelings. so how is it that while we are relying on God wqith our decisions, we choose who we want to marry by our own standards, i mean, a person's standards may very well be Biblical and well established, but love is determined by feeling. if anyone has some thoughts, please share

c-ya! -Twilight Force
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Thursday, July 14, 2005

   Wash it All Away- Evanescene
LAtely it seems that theres something sinde me thats driving me into a corner. Thats the problems with emotions.. if you feed them, they control you, but if you ignore you, then they destroy you. I dont know what to do...
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Friday, July 8, 2005

its just a quiz...
~*~Result nr 12~*~

src="http://live.quizilla.com/user_images/P/PainfulBliss/1117293414_Power_Breathe.JPG">
Your power is: The ability to breathe
under water

Explanation: When swimming, you don't
need to get up and take a new fresh breathe
since you take in the oxygen from the water.
This allows to stay in the water as much as
you'd like. In good purposes it can save
drowning victims. In evil purposes it can make
the person drag people down to the depth and
have them drowned. This helps you escape the
world, if even for a bit, since you have grown
to despise it so much.
You have been a beaten dreamer with aspirations
crushed. Now you try to control your hopes
because you don't want to get hurt again. You
feel there is no hope for you in the future and
has no real goals. But unlike the Controller of
Time you do still feel even if it's mostly
negative emotions. You have few friends, if
any, and feel you are unable to speak about
your troubles. And unlike the Transformer, you
don't feel happiness nowadays. All seems to be
filled despair whereever you go and you are
bitter becaue the world has failed you. It
didn't turn out the way you wanted it too and
you feel betrayed. It is also likely the
feeling of betrayal comes from past
relationships where you were left alone in the
end.
Negative aspects: Since you are highly
depressed and not letting out your emotions
properly there is a possibility for cutting, to
let the emotions out. Also, if the feeling of
despair grows to strong you might consider
taking your life.

What Power is Compatible With You?
brought to you by Quizilla

as far as super powers go, thats kinda weak.. (ooo look! its aquaman!! ::yawn::) although, that'd go fine with me cuz i can swim too well, and breathing underwater would kinda make all things water related go alot better with me..
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005

"Got The Life"- KoRn
Well, I'm an official graduate of my school now, and my first course of action was to bleach my hair. Aside from that, regents review for Math B is going on, and since i was the one that failed the Math B regents before (making my entire class have to take it again cuz thats what the teacher wanted).. I have to do well. Its weird.. I graduated and got my regents diploma, but I'm still taking a regents, that strikes me as weird; but an excuse to see my friends for a short while more is fine with me.
Oh yea, my recruiter called me back today (2 weeks after i called and left a message), and I have a meeting with him on the 30th at 4pm. Lets all hope that things go well for me and I land the job i will be aiming to achieve (which is dealing with electronic mechanical repairs and establishments..or something like that), please, pray about that, I dont want to be in the Air Force for 4 years with a job i dont like..THATD BE BAD!!
Anyway, my comp has been having alot of trouble lately, so I dont know how much online activity I'll be up to, but I'll be on when i can, later y'all.
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Thursday, June 9, 2005

To Return- Chevelle
Hmm, I've been gone for a while. But I'm back now for the time. I'll fix up my syte in time.. I'm just a lil busy now..w/ graduation on sunday and all.. in weeks to come, it should get better. anyway.. Thats a highly memorable moment in my life, but in opposition to what some of my friends at school have insisted that I said, it was NOT the greatest moment of my life. but it def. was freakin sweet. but ill forget about it soon enuf.
neway, i need to go for now, so ill post again later. -Big Vato

p.s- Big Vato is my alias.. and its also my xbox live account name
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